A four line poem

Vampire queen you have my vote
For the funniest on this thread

Goodnight all netters have sweet dreams
I am going to my bed

Blessed is he who expecteth not.
But oh dear! Oh dear! Just look what we got.
While I had expected some really good verse.
They just went from bad to very much worse

DH likes the bottom squeezed
But I just squeeze and push.
Does it really matter
How the paste gets on the brush?

Not sure if the tone
Is actually improving
This isn't a moan
I should be hoovering

I'm trying to think
Of something profound
But my very few brain cells
Have gone to ground

Bit too late for the festive season but here's my offering:

I often pondered as a child,
And wondered ever since
Why chopped up fruit is mincemeat
But chopped up fruit is mince?

Our grandson, called Finlay Zachopoulos,
Took his sister to see the Acropolis,
He said with a frown, 'It's about to fall down,
Lets run before it's on top of us.'

My blood is red
But my veins are blue
I don't know why
Do you?

My mother had a flit gun
It was not devoid of charm
A bit of flit flew out the end
The rest flew up her arm.

Not my poem alas. This is from Pam Ayres

Your arteries are bright bright red
Chock full of Oxy Gen
Your veins are mauve blue, their oxy's shed
To feed your cells, ye ken.

They take the now depleted glup
Back to your thumping heart
To where your lungs can top it up
And so back to the start.

Very clever Elegran!

Elegran has raised the tone
Now there is no need to moan
Education's where it's at
Biology and all of that.

(Not an excuse to go back to the toilet humour, btw)

Can't get back cheer
Can't get back fun
Feeling low
Got to go

God knows where though.

One for Gerente?

No toilet humour in sight.

Ignore that.

Bought a pork shank out of Lidl
In a sealed bag, what a fiddle
Gravy splashing on my cuff
Hope its tasty and not tuff.

For you Jingle

Jingle says we must ignore her
That's a first - or do we bore her?
Maybe write too tasteful verses
Too much rhyme and too few curses.

The rain was pouring
The wind was blowing
But the Robin was singing
To gladden the morning.

Jingl's feeling very flat
It's just not right, can't have that
Someone think of something quickly
She'll reply with something prickly.

Jingle's lost her sense of humour
This is true, it's not a rumour
We must cheer her up, I think
Be quick someone, give her a drink

If jingle's poem is what your'e yearning
Then to mumsnet you should be turning
Get them to post there angst and ire
She'll soon set their bum on fire

Their not there

I'm feeling flat
Lost my rhyming
and my timing
that's that

Nothing better to do
other than sit and doze
watching BBC one, or maybe two
until this lethargy goes

Oh no Pompa not you, too
What on earth are we to do
GNs are really trying hard
But what we need is a proper bard.

Let's all feel the joys of spring
That is better than anything
For getting us all up and dancing
Jumping, singing, waltzing, prancing!