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What happened to British reserve?

(82 Posts)
rosequartz Sun 14-Dec-14 16:00:06

I just typed this as part of a post on another thread and it got me thinking. What has happened to British reserve?
Studio audiences now always seem to be screaming, shouting, caterwauling etc. Do people generally seem to have less self-control than they had when we were younger?
Is this a bad or a good thing - a lot of what we hear on tv seems a complete over-reaction to whatever is happening in the studio. Or is it better to 'let it all out' with enthusiasm?

janerowena Sun 14-Dec-14 19:48:46

I blame The Price is Right. That was the first example of it I ever saw, and I hated it. I'm used to it now, but I remember feeling very uncomfortable, these weird people running down the stairs waving their arms in a most peculiar and awkward fashion.

rosequartz Sun 14-Dec-14 19:40:39

Kissing - another thing that has changed! So many people kiss these days that I have embarrassed myself by kissing a couple of people who obviously would have preferred not to have been kissed - as I would prefer not to be kissed by some people tchblush

rosequartz Sun 14-Dec-14 19:38:34

I really dislike the them and us of this sort of discussion
No-one is forcing anyone to join in this thread.

vampirequeen Sun 14-Dec-14 19:16:27

I agree about kissing. Is it going to be an air kiss or a cheek kiss? Will it be one, two or even three kisses? Whatever it is it's definitely and invasion of my personal space. A good firm handshake is far preferable.

vegasmags Sun 14-Dec-14 19:00:29

I don't like the way one can be expected now to kiss acquaintances. I prefer shaking hands, but this is a custom that seems to be dying out.

vampirequeen Sun 14-Dec-14 18:59:57

I'm not concerned about the more touchy feely nature of relationships but I can't stand the hysterical grief now shown by so many people. I don't mean that those who have lost a close relative or friend shouldn't cry and grieve. It's the public grief for someone who was in the public eye that I can't stand.

I remember watching Diana's funeral. People weeping and wailing, throwing flowers and screaming her name. Who were these people? Did they personally know Diana or were they whipped up by a form of mass hysteria that seemed to take over the public and the media?

Since then it seems that, at times, there is a competition to see who can grieve the loudest.

Mishap Sun 14-Dec-14 18:20:51

By the way - I love the fact that young people (boys and girls) hug their friends and family so openly now. I think that is brilliant.

Mishap Sun 14-Dec-14 18:19:30

But maybe it is not wise to air one's dirty linen in public and seemingly enjoy it? Am I just being a dinosaur?

Eloethan Sun 14-Dec-14 18:10:52

I think it's good for people to show their feelings, provided they are genuine and not just for show.

Ariadne Sun 14-Dec-14 18:07:15

KatyK grin

KatyK Sun 14-Dec-14 18:03:44

Gracesgran - I agree re young people. I have three nephews in their 20s who are considerate and caring as well as being trendy and enjoying their youth. Ariadne - I WAS one of those screaming girls at Beatles concerts. I take back what I said above ! blush Note to self: Think before you speak (or post).

merlotgran Sun 14-Dec-14 17:59:25

Remember Wimbledon in the good old days? Dan Maskell must be turning in his grave.

The umpire shouldn't have to keep appealing for quiet.

'Oh, my word'

Ariadne Sun 14-Dec-14 17:56:43

Excellent post, Gracesgran!

Remember the screaming girls when the Beatles hit town? And the hugging and kissing demonstrates, I think, the breaking down of stiff, former coldness and inability to express feelings. Give me a hug any day, rather than a sneer.

TriciaF Sun 14-Dec-14 17:53:36

I think it all started with Diana's death - 1997. She was a person who showed her feelings, and it spread.
I'm quite reserved, but my grandchildren are more exuberant.

Gracesgran Sun 14-Dec-14 17:51:57

rosequartz it was only a small proportion then and it's only a small proportion now. Even though some do behave without thought for others (and surely that is what matters) huge numbers of young people are, in my experience, thoughtful, considerate and much more adult in so many ways than my generation were all those years ago.

I really dislike the them and us of this sort of discussion. There will be almost exactly the same proportion of people behaving outrageously albeit in a different way to our generation and probably the same proportion of saints too. We just didn't see it 40/50/60 years ago as we didn't have the technology and society was more socially stratified.

This is their time not ours and they need to be allowed to get on with living their lives in their chosen way just as we wanted to in our early adult years or are you suggesting we all behaved like our mothers.

rosequartz Sun 14-Dec-14 17:18:19

I think young people have always know how to let their hair down.
Gracesgran I don't remember me or any of my friends walking around half naked and vomiting in the gutter like some of today's young women do!

Anya yes, that's true, I went to a Frozen Singalong and no-one was singing very loudly (or much at all), nervously looking round to see if anyone recognised them!!
Obviously there was no-one from the Strictly or X Factor or Jeremy Kyle audiences there - or even from Question Time the other evening!!

KatyK Sun 14-Dec-14 17:17:41

We stopped watching the X Factor because of all the whooping and hollering. My DH always says 'we follow what the Americans do'. I don't know if he's right. My granddaughter takes part in dance shows/competitions and the mothers all whoop and holler after the dance has finished. I find it cringeworthy but it is what happens now. Not my way but hey ho.

Eloethan Sun 14-Dec-14 17:01:02

I like Strictly and the X Factor and I'm not particularly bothered by enthusiastic audiences - it's probably quite fund being there. The muted "stiff upper lip" approach would make these light entertainment programmes seem a bit "flat" I think.

Having said that, I do find it annoying on the X Factor when the panel walks on stage at the beginning to the accompaniment of dramatic music and hysterical screams, as if they were some sort of demi-gods and goddesses.

Anya Sun 14-Dec-14 17:00:32

Oh English reserve still is alive as witnessed at my granddaughters Christmas Concert Singalong.

The three reception classes sang several songs beautifully and in particular Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

At the end the Head asked them to sing it again and for parents etc to join in. What a pathetic bunch!

As the Head remarked at the end 'Well children, I think we can say the audience didn't exactly make that song their own!' tchgrin

Agus Sun 14-Dec-14 16:38:28

We were also brought up with strict Calvanism in Scotland whereby anyone thought of as riffraff, was avoided like the plague. It was not the done thing to show off or draw attention to yourself.

Although it was quite stultifying in many ways, I wouldn't mind if some of those standards were upheld now. Especially when I see the behaviour of adults who still insist in acting like unruly teenagers.

feetlebaum Sun 14-Dec-14 16:34:53

Our Victorian forebears used to pose with their dead children for photographs - that was pretty grim!

soontobe Sun 14-Dec-14 16:25:55

And photographs have become less formal too. Her generation [she is early 20s, says that photos of times gone by look grim. The people are not smiling and look unhappy!

soontobe Sun 14-Dec-14 16:24:09

I think it is working in reverse too. My daughter is very much of the huggy, kissy generation.
I dont know where she got it from. I was shocked the first time I saw her to it to her schoolmates, when she was about 14.

Mishap Sun 14-Dec-14 16:19:34

I think that some people hope that if they make enough noise the camera will focus on them. There seems to be an insatiable desire to appear on the box - those ghastly daytime exposure programmes seem to bear this out.

I once had to sit through one of these programmes on a hospital ward whilst waiting to be called to theatre. Hours of cringeworthy stuff - no dignity left for the poor participants.

I am very old-fashioned about these sort of things.

annodomini Sun 14-Dec-14 16:19:30

If you think the Strictly audince is rowdy, try listening to the X Factor! Probably younger and much, much worse.