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What happened to British reserve?

(82 Posts)
rosequartz Sun 14-Dec-14 16:00:06

I just typed this as part of a post on another thread and it got me thinking. What has happened to British reserve?
Studio audiences now always seem to be screaming, shouting, caterwauling etc. Do people generally seem to have less self-control than they had when we were younger?
Is this a bad or a good thing - a lot of what we hear on tv seems a complete over-reaction to whatever is happening in the studio. Or is it better to 'let it all out' with enthusiasm?

Anya Sun 14-Dec-14 21:38:04

soontobe that is not a sensible analogy. When did we get into this sinking ship! wink

Anya Sun 14-Dec-14 21:39:20

The post of 21.36 was to Grace this us getting very confusing!

soontobe Sun 14-Dec-14 21:42:32

smile Anya.

But we can never be equal if we have had the benefit of living 60 plus years or whatever, and they, youngsters have only lived for 20 years.

But this thread is a bit of a sinking ship as you say, so that may be my last comment!

Agus Sun 14-Dec-14 21:46:48

And nastier still Gracesgran......"can you not read Anya"

It was blatantly clear Anya'was responding to soontobe

Eloethan Sun 14-Dec-14 21:57:17

rosequartz I know just what you mean. There's that embarrassing moment where you're not quite sure what to do, then an awkward lunge, followed by the feeling that you have made the wrong choice. It was so much easier when hugs and kisses were reserved for family and very close friends.

janerowena Your "I blame the Price is Right" made me laugh.

gracesgran Once we start accepting that older people have "had their time" that suggests to me that they are of less importance. I'm not sure that's the sort of society we should aim for - after all, such a remark wouldn't be acceptable about any other group of people, and most people get old.

Gracesgran Sun 14-Dec-14 22:01:00

Obviously not blatantly Agus.

As there seems to be some general confusion about replies this is re your post 14-Dec-14 21:37:46. Your comments in your first paragraph are personal to you but my comments were never about anyone in particular. It is always a shame when someone chooses to see these things personally.

You have not in any way put forward any point offering a counter to my comments which were "it is not unreasonable to say that the older and old members of society are not, except with few exceptions, the change makers."

Gracesgran Sun 14-Dec-14 22:05:51

Goodness me how sensitive you all are. I was not for one moment saying older people have had their time (where did I say that?) in the sense of being less important but in the sense of the group that are the change makers. If I failed to convey this in a way you could understand that is my fault and I apologise.

Agus Sun 14-Dec-14 22:21:09

Gracesgran. Let me make myself blatantly clear, our conversation is over.

Gracesgran Sun 14-Dec-14 22:27:19

Then why did you reply? You just needed to stop. Strange. I am happy to call a halt though - it is going nowhere.

Katek Sun 14-Dec-14 22:55:25

The demography of the recent 'no' vote in the Scottish referendum showed our age group as the ones who halted the independence bandwagon. I'm not sure if you could call this change (it certainly changed Alex Salmond's plans) or a desire to maintain the status quo, but it showed that the grey vote has power when motivated. It's not just time for the young, we still count.

absent Mon 15-Dec-14 01:37:14

It is interesting that ours is the first for several generations of grandmothers that is closely involved in regular and routine childcare. If that is not having a major effect on the next generation but one, I can't think what would be. Bearing in mind that many of us were ardent feminists in our youth and remain so in our later years and that we are still living in a grossly unfair society where women continue to be second-class citizens in many respects, effecting change through our granddaughters view of the world seems a given.

suzied Mon 15-Dec-14 05:01:38

On the kissing note, my Italian SIL tells me you have kiss left cheek first, then right. If we Brits understood this rule then there would be none of that embarassed hesitancy and both parties going for the same side. I always try to remember this when greeting friends.
Also I was a screaming Beatles/ Stones fan in the 60s, so screaming audiences is nothing new.

seasider Mon 15-Dec-14 07:12:50

I also have an Italian SIL so kissing has become more the norm in our family ( we have always kissed and hugged the children and close relatives) but it does take such a long time to leave anywhere! I picked 12 year old DS up from a birthday party and he got hugs from the girls which was quite sweet.

rosequartz Mon 15-Dec-14 10:40:54

We met up with some dear friends recently so kisses were quite in order - however he used to kiss three times so I went for a third; however, nowadays he seems to have reduced it to two!
I am going to restrain myself in future unless someone looks as if they are really going for a peck on the cheek.

It's the screaming by audiences of all age groups that seems to have changed. Yes, I went to see the Beatles too, and remember screaming and stamping our feet and shouting for more - but I think we belonged to a very restricted age group who were looked on with bemusement by our parents and grandparents - they may have applauded enthusiastically at a concert but that is as 'out of control' as they would get! tchgrin

soontobe Mon 15-Dec-14 11:10:51

left cheek then right! Heck. I think I automatically go for the other side first.

rosequartz Mon 15-Dec-14 12:47:55

That's why I bump noses, specs, etc, sometimes grin

As long as it's not lips

inishowen Mon 15-Dec-14 14:42:26

Back in the eighties i won a prize from a company that sold jewellery. They were American owned and I had to go to a presentation in front of an audience. i was one of many prize winners. The audience was whipped into a frenzy by a warm up man. He made them practice their cheering and whooping before the prizes were given. It shocked me to see how a crowd can be manipulated. On the other hand, I agree with Mishap that it's lovely the way young people hug their friends these days and are not afraid to shed a tear. I remember being dumped in the seventies and putting on a brave face, even with my best friend, then crying buckets when alone.

Anya Mon 15-Dec-14 15:38:21

Not a good place to be dumped the 70s. If I had to travel back in time I think I'd prefer the 60s

rosesarered Mon 15-Dec-14 16:16:27

me too Anya ! I loved the 60's.
The younger generation have been put first for too long already IMO.
Kissing can be a bit of a minefield nowadays, but as I'm a bit of a hugger anyway, prefer it to a handshake.

rosequartz Mon 15-Dec-14 19:53:45

Look out for mistletoe this Christmas, and avoid if you don't want to be kissed tchgrin

Starling Mon 15-Dec-14 20:45:20

I don't like the way contestants on TV talent shows behave if they don't win. They cry and cry like all their relatives have just been killed and their life is over. As though fame through singing etc is the be-all of everything.

Ana Mon 15-Dec-14 20:51:53

rosequartz, I don't mind that sort of kiss! tchwink

I just don't want to exchange 'air kisses' with strangers, I find it really cringeworthy...

Soutra Mon 15-Dec-14 21:30:45

My little DGS (just turned 3) announced a few weeks ago that he was going to do "grown up kissing like Granny and Grandpa"(!) G&G don't go in for a lot of "grown up kissing " these days so DD was somewhat gobsmacked. It turned out he meant kissing on bothcheeks which is what we always do!!tchgrin

Agus Mon 15-Dec-14 22:48:00

The 70's were nowhere nearly as exciting as the 60's for me.

Back to the cheek kissing. One of my neighbours in France, a very nice man but kissing his sweaty unshaven cheek was revolting. It eventually annoyed me that I was compelled to kiss some people that, given the choice, I wouldn't want to kiss.

merlotgran Mon 15-Dec-14 22:54:29

Oh, the sixties. We had the good times and they sure as hell ain't coming back!