I'm suddenly feeling old!!

I remember when I was around 60 I dreaded the humiliation of being offered a seat on a bus or tube. When I was applying for a reduced price ticket in a theatre or for an exhibition I expected to be asked to prove I was over 60 but people obviously thought they could tell by my wrinkles. What a shock!

Now, at 71, I am quite relaxed about it all. I even fall back on being old as an excuse sometimes.

Recently I remarked to DH that between us we have one good brain!

Actually, I feel very old at the moment. The polymyalgia rheumatic has reactivated itself and I am having a hip replacement on Monday. And that's not even mentioning the piles!

I am only 11 inside, it's just my knees etc that are nearly 70.

Unfortunately my face gives me away too.

I'm sorry it has been and is so hard for you, katek.

GrannyTwice are we young and beautiful, full of energy with all our hopes and dreams spread out in front of us? A life to live, dreams to fulfil? Is the world still ours to have? The answer for me is 'no' so I'm not sure I'm the same person, let alone more so. Facially (thanks to good genes) I look a lot younger than my years (as did my mother and grandmother) but my body tells me this is an illusion. I'm not the same physically, morally, emotionally or intellectually as my 21 year old self

It's probably got something to do with the fact that my physicality often prevents people from seeing the real me. It's not quite 'does she take sugar' but along those lines. I've fought so hard to fit into the so called 'normal' world and now I'm having to make more efforts to accept ageing. I'm still the seat offerer not the other way round.

Katek - how sad you feel that way - I haven't lost the person I once was - in still her and even more so

I really can't understand all this angst about being old/being seen as old. I find it a strange sort of vanity. I love being offered a seat/ help with my suitcase/ a chair in a shop. I love the fact that on all my frequent travels I meet so many kind people be they employees or fellow travellers. I guess I probably look my age but I still have a razor sharp intellect and that is really all that matters to me that I am appreciated as an intellectual equal. Nothing to do with bring offered help physically

It's not vanity....it's a sense of loss of the people we once were.

When I read about people who are over 100 whose "children" are often in their late 70's and 80's, I always find it mind boggling.

I do get a twinge of sadness when anyone offers me a seat - stupid vanity I know - but I always accept with profuse thanks because it's so nice that they bother.

Probably not bags, I take your point, but I don't 'do' help very readily at all. I struggle on womanfully through thick and thin. Other people were in pretty much the same state because of the shortness of the connection time.....what made me different? Why weren't they asked if they needed help at destination? You see where I'm going in my head?

That should be "if one..."

If is puffing and fighting off an asthma attack, an offer of help is not patronising, it's someone noticing you are apparently having diffiuclty breathing and wondering if they can be of assistance.

In my world patronising condescension is more the norm than kindness. Have spent 60 years struggling for acceptance in the 'normal' world- just makes me uncomfortable having my differences pointed up..

Not disgruntled as such....have fought for 60 years to be accepted in 'normal' world and am just uncomfortable about having any differences pointed up ( as I feel it)

I always accept non-suspicious offers of help. Why feel disgruntled by kindness? I think one can be old and gutsy, like the war veteran, Bernard Gordon who absconded to France for the memorial service recently.

I didn't see it so much as a rejection more it just wasn't necessary. A twenty minute sit down had restored me to full function. Perhaps I should go and visit my friend in her 80's though..... mind you she's as ornery as me! She prob would have stuck her stick through the bike spokes and just smiled sweetly. It's also a different psychology when you're dealing with disability and not just age. I was very polite (apart from the hard stare) and thanked the conductor so don't think I'll have deterred them from offering again.

BTW, if you are feeling your age, go and see someone even older and you will come away feeling like a spring chicken!

If you are inclined to reject help when it's offered, please think again. The person offering may be deterred from asking someone (like me) who can really do with help with, for example, a heavy suitcase. The station manager at our local station earned my deep gratitude for helping me and my luggage onto the train, over rather a deep and wide gap between platform and carriage.

Pity to didn't have a walking stick to thrust between the spokes of his bike daffydil that'd larn him

Can understand where you're coming from Coolgran, that was a wee bit patronising, assuming you seldom get out because of your advancing years! Yes, I was frazzled......train was running 20 minutes late as it was, and despite it supposedly being a direct train it terminated 2 stops before my destination. There shouid never have been a connection to be made and I had to make it to get to my DGD's nativity play. I was feeling quite pleased with myself for having done it despite my state of health, and I was brought down to earth with a bump. I never see myself as ageing or infirm (i have other significant physical issues) and I try very hard indeed to manage all that life has thrown at me. It upsets me (possibly irrationally so) when I'm seen as an old person not as a fairly gutsy little individual,

How very rude of him Daffydill.

I am a great grandmother. Now having a son who is a grandfather really makes you feel a bit ancient.
I also accept gratefully when offered a seat. To do otherwise might deter younger folk from doing so in the future if they feel rebuffed and they might have been brought up to be respectful of older people. Better than the youth recently who cycled towards me on the pavement and told me to get out his **ing way or he would **ing knock me down.

Felt ancient years ago when young DS asked if dinosaurs were around when I was a child....think my face told him the answer!

OP was probably also feeling pretty frazzled and stressed because of the tight connection time.

I enjoy the courtesy of being offered a seat and often accept with thanks. I have often also offered my seat...It depends on how my own fibro etc is behaving.

Last night I was out for dinner with five other ladies. We are friends of some 40 years aged from 60 - 75. The floor manager taking us to our table asked what was the occasion, we replied..Just friends.
Floor manager said.." isn't that lovely for you....a nice change for you, a wee night out". It kinda felt for a moment like we were old dears.
I still reckon we were among the most animated and glam in the restaurant.

I wouldn't worry about that one crun. Depending on medical condition, 20yr olds also use commodes in hospital