I'm suddenly feeling old!!

Sympathies Kate

I'm 60 - yesterday for the first time I was addressed as 'dear' in the local Co-op

I'm very young & hip, wear skinny jeans, am totally gorgeous and could be mistaken for DS's date ..... just gonna have a lie down to recover from the trauma.

My husband is 62 and he was appalled to be offered a seat by a young woman on the London tube the other day. He was gracious about it to her of course but he is somewhat upset!

I don't think it was anything to do with age. Anyone arriving in that condition would, I hope, be asked if they needed a hand.

I think it was very kind of her to ask.

I agree with Agus. Some older people get really upset when a seat is offered to them but I think such kindness should be encouraged. Really enjoyed it when we got on a busy bus and 2 people offered my friend a seat but no one offered me one. She declined but I said I would take it as I am 6 weeks older than her!

It was indeed very kind, but I've been asthmatic for over 40 years in varying states of breathlessness/wheeziness and nobody has ever said this to me before. I just suddenly felt very old, frail and, despite my light hearted tone, quite upset.

I don't understand why this upsets people.

We are the older generation, I am 64, to a younger generation, any of whom politely offering a seat etc. should be graciously thanked. They don't know if we may actually need a seat, in my case I do and I am grateful for their consideration.

My DH was offered a seat by a young man a few years ago and was totally affronted and was a bit sharp with the young man. He has regretted it ever since. He said he was shocked to think that someone thought he looked old. He now realises that to this young man, he did and the young man was being kind.

I think the thing that made me feel old more than anything recently was having to use a commode in hospital last August.

I'm dreading next Wednesday when the 'baby' of the family, DD2, is 40!!

I've suggested she send me a sympathy card.

I know that feeling Merlot my 'baby' was 42 last week

....*i really am* losing it...he was 42 earlier this week

Must be that 'old timers' disease we hear so much about.

A good looking 50 year old was asked recently by a 5 year old, what it was like in the olden days when she was growing up!

I wouldn't worry about that one crun. Depending on medical condition, 20yr olds also use commodes in hospital

OP was probably also feeling pretty frazzled and stressed because of the tight connection time.

I enjoy the courtesy of being offered a seat and often accept with thanks. I have often also offered my seat...It depends on how my own fibro etc is behaving.

Last night I was out for dinner with five other ladies. We are friends of some 40 years aged from 60 - 75. The floor manager taking us to our table asked what was the occasion, we replied..Just friends.
Floor manager said.." isn't that lovely for you....a nice change for you, a wee night out". It kinda felt for a moment like we were old dears.
I still reckon we were among the most animated and glam in the restaurant.

Felt ancient years ago when young DS asked if dinosaurs were around when I was a child....think my face told him the answer!

I am a great grandmother. Now having a son who is a grandfather really makes you feel a bit ancient.
I also accept gratefully when offered a seat. To do otherwise might deter younger folk from doing so in the future if they feel rebuffed and they might have been brought up to be respectful of older people. Better than the youth recently who cycled towards me on the pavement and told me to get out his **ing way or he would **ing knock me down.

How very rude of him Daffydill.

Can understand where you're coming from Coolgran, that was a wee bit patronising, assuming you seldom get out because of your advancing years! Yes, I was frazzled......train was running 20 minutes late as it was, and despite it supposedly being a direct train it terminated 2 stops before my destination. There shouid never have been a connection to be made and I had to make it to get to my DGD's nativity play. I was feeling quite pleased with myself for having done it despite my state of health, and I was brought down to earth with a bump. I never see myself as ageing or infirm (i have other significant physical issues) and I try very hard indeed to manage all that life has thrown at me. It upsets me (possibly irrationally so) when I'm seen as an old person not as a fairly gutsy little individual,

Pity to didn't have a walking stick to thrust between the spokes of his bike daffydil that'd larn him

If you are inclined to reject help when it's offered, please think again. The person offering may be deterred from asking someone (like me) who can really do with help with, for example, a heavy suitcase. The station manager at our local station earned my deep gratitude for helping me and my luggage onto the train, over rather a deep and wide gap between platform and carriage.

BTW, if you are feeling your age, go and see someone even older and you will come away feeling like a spring chicken!

I didn't see it so much as a rejection more it just wasn't necessary. A twenty minute sit down had restored me to full function. Perhaps I should go and visit my friend in her 80's though..... mind you she's as ornery as me! She prob would have stuck her stick through the bike spokes and just smiled sweetly. It's also a different psychology when you're dealing with disability and not just age. I was very polite (apart from the hard stare) and thanked the conductor so don't think I'll have deterred them from offering again.

I always accept non-suspicious offers of help. Why feel disgruntled by kindness? I think one can be old and gutsy, like the war veteran, Bernard Gordon who absconded to France for the memorial service recently.

Not disgruntled as such....have fought for 60 years to be accepted in 'normal' world and am just uncomfortable about having any differences pointed up ( as I feel it)