I'm suddenly feeling old!!

In my world patronising condescension is more the norm than kindness. Have spent 60 years struggling for acceptance in the 'normal' world- just makes me uncomfortable having my differences pointed up..

If is puffing and fighting off an asthma attack, an offer of help is not patronising, it's someone noticing you are apparently having diffiuclty breathing and wondering if they can be of assistance.

That should be "if one..."

Probably not bags, I take your point, but I don't 'do' help very readily at all. I struggle on womanfully through thick and thin. Other people were in pretty much the same state because of the shortness of the connection time.....what made me different? Why weren't they asked if they needed help at destination? You see where I'm going in my head?

When I read about people who are over 100 whose "children" are often in their late 70's and 80's, I always find it mind boggling.

I do get a twinge of sadness when anyone offers me a seat - stupid vanity I know - but I always accept with profuse thanks because it's so nice that they bother.

It's not vanity....it's a sense of loss of the people we once were.

I really can't understand all this angst about being old/being seen as old. I find it a strange sort of vanity. I love being offered a seat/ help with my suitcase/ a chair in a shop. I love the fact that on all my frequent travels I meet so many kind people be they employees or fellow travellers. I guess I probably look my age but I still have a razor sharp intellect and that is really all that matters to me that I am appreciated as an intellectual equal. Nothing to do with bring offered help physically

Katek - how sad you feel that way - I haven't lost the person I once was - in still her and even more so

It's probably got something to do with the fact that my physicality often prevents people from seeing the real me. It's not quite 'does she take sugar' but along those lines. I've fought so hard to fit into the so called 'normal' world and now I'm having to make more efforts to accept ageing. I'm still the seat offerer not the other way round.

GrannyTwice are we young and beautiful, full of energy with all our hopes and dreams spread out in front of us? A life to live, dreams to fulfil? Is the world still ours to have? The answer for me is 'no' so I'm not sure I'm the same person, let alone more so. Facially (thanks to good genes) I look a lot younger than my years (as did my mother and grandmother) but my body tells me this is an illusion. I'm not the same physically, morally, emotionally or intellectually as my 21 year old self

I'm sorry it has been and is so hard for you, katek.

I am only 11 inside, it's just my knees etc that are nearly 70.

Unfortunately my face gives me away too.

I remember when I was around 60 I dreaded the humiliation of being offered a seat on a bus or tube. When I was applying for a reduced price ticket in a theatre or for an exhibition I expected to be asked to prove I was over 60 but people obviously thought they could tell by my wrinkles. What a shock!

Now, at 71, I am quite relaxed about it all. I even fall back on being old as an excuse sometimes.

Recently I remarked to DH that between us we have one good brain!

Actually, I feel very old at the moment. The polymyalgia rheumatic has reactivated itself and I am having a hip replacement on Monday. And that's not even mentioning the piles!

All the best for Monday, petallus.

All the best, petallus, with the operation and I hope the piles disappear too!

petallus. Good luck with the hip replacement. You should feel quite lively by Christmas. I hope the PMR flare subsides soon.

petallus ouch

Maybe I just need time to adjust to this new stage of my life. In the words of the immortal Kermit 'it isn't easy being green'!
Good luck with your surgery on Monday

Here's to a speedy recovery after your op on Monday petallus

I was offered a seat on a tube when I was in my early 40s and was genuinely puzzled as to whether they had thought I was elderly or pregnant.

I would cringe if anyone offered me a seat, I find it patronising and insulting. I would however be polite but I would be looking to change something to my appearance (more purple hair dye) etc.#
I am having lots of hospital checks at the minute which are traumatic in every way as I hate having to sit in a waiting room with strangers but the worst thing is the patronising manner of the hospital staff, their favourite word is 'pop'. for example, 'we will just pop you on the bed/ we will just pop a little needle in your arm/ can you pop on to the couch/pop you clothes on now etc etc.
Please, any hospital staff reading this, do not use the word 'pop'.
It maybe is ok used to a 90 year old but to a normal looking 60 year old in skinny jeans/leggings with stripy hair makes me feel what have I done to be spoken to like this. I feel that its bad training, they are used to over 60s being a bit dippy. Well Im not ready for the grey perm and cream trousers yet.

I think they say that to everyone, ethelbags. When I was in hospital last year (in a single room due to risk of infection) a couple of nurses would come in every morning to change the bed linen and ask me whether I'd like to 'pop in' the shower while they did so. I said that I wouldn't.

you missed my 't' out Ana. You need to pop it in.

(I'm not saying that I wouldn't get out of the bed - I just sat in the armchair until they'd finished!)

did you just 'pop' into the chair.
Seriously it is really annoying to be asked to 'pop' anywhere.