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Scared of Hospital

(31 Posts)
GreatauntieLinda Mon 01-Dec-14 23:06:37

What do I do to re-assure my DH about going into hospital. I should explain that he has severe heart disease and is swelling up with fluid (current weight of fluid is 14lbs) He saw the Cardiologist today who said as soon as a bed is available (tomorrow or Wednesday) he will be admitted so that they can take steps to reduce the accumulation of fluid.

Sitting at home tonight he said he is really scared about going into hospital (he is 76), I asked what he was scared of and he said the unknown. But we hear so many stories on the tv about the treatment of old ones in hospital I think its really got to him. To be honest I am out of my mind too. Not just about the fluid but bed sores (he has a couple already).

What do I say to him. He is my one and only love of my life. We have been married 43 years no children and just have each other. This is not to mean we don't have other members of our family brothers sisters nephews and nieces. But its always been just we two.

What do I say to him to give re-assurance.

TriciaF Tue 02-Dec-14 09:18:22

If you have time you could perhaps visit the hospital and the ward where he'll be, to see what it's like and meet the staff. If this is allowed.
Also ask about visiting and whether you would be allowed to stay with him.
And find out the procedure for removing fluid and discuss it with him.
Good luck!

Teetime Tue 02-Dec-14 09:28:32

Your husbands fears are understandable but perhaps you could reassure him that we only hear the horror stories not the thousands upon thousands of patients who are cared for daily with precision and skill. Our doctors and nurses are still among the best in the world. their sole purpose is to make people better- they get no satisfaction from causing you pain and distress. Clearly your husband really needs this admission and he must be feeling very ill so after initial fears which by the way its a good idea to share with the doctors and nurses they will do their very best to allay these perhaps a mild sedative may be prescribed. Hospitals are not the austere places they used to be. Staff are friendly and routines are informal. I'm sure you will be staying with him as much as possible which will comfort him enormously. As to the pressure sores hospital beds are designed to relieve the pressure in a much better way than a domestic bed can and the nusring staff are usually expert in these matters. Many hospitals also have Tissue Viability Nurse who you can ask to see for on-going advice and treatment for the ones he currently has.
I wish you both good care and comfort and that he is home with you again very soon. flowers

whenim64 Tue 02-Dec-14 09:33:02

As one who fears the worst before going in hospital, I've always found my fears are unfounded when I'm settled in, but I tell the nurses how I feel because they need to know which patients need that bit more reassurance. They will treat and watch bed sores carefully and make sure your DH moves around so they don't worsen. There are special mattresses to ease pressure on sensitive areas. He'll probably have company on the ward and you should soon find he's feeling a bit more confident. Having you there whenever you can will help, too - if there's anything missing from his care, you're there to speak up for him. Perhaps he'll have some visits from the relatives? I hope it goes well and he's back home quickly.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 02-Dec-14 09:57:13

It's very natural for him to be scared. I would be too. I guess all you can do is try to reassure him, and tell him, quite truthfully, that most hospitals take very good care of older patients, and that you will be with him every step of the way.

I hope he gets a bed very soon so it can be over and done with and he can be home again and much more confortable. flowers

soontobe Tue 02-Dec-14 10:10:45

If appropriate, you could look up some details of the ward he will be in.
And/ or the type of procedure he will need.
It would take away some of the unknown element for him.

GreatauntieLinda Tue 02-Dec-14 10:47:44

Many thanks everyone. Must admit last night I was quite worked up. I shall take on board your helpful advice and thoughts. No phone call so far but his bag is packed. He too seems a bit calmer this morning.

Thank you all for responding.

Riverwalk Tue 02-Dec-14 10:52:41

Hope all goes well for your DH, and you!

If I might mention the pressure sores .... you must inform the nurses on admission so that they can arrange an appropriate air mattress - you don't want them getting worse.

Also, on discharge try to have at least an air cushion for his chair.

whitewave Tue 02-Dec-14 10:53:50

My husband was in a couple of years ago with heart condition and he was fine in fact he made a couple of friends and they have kept in contact. There was a chap in the bed hospital with fluid - he was quite blown up with it, but he eventually was discharged so all was well he was in his late 70's.

Once he goes in you will feel much better although it is tiring visiting - so wish you both well and look forward to this time next year!

Mishap Tue 02-Dec-14 11:02:31

It is understandable that you should both be feeling apprehensive.

I have recently been in hospital and watched the nurses taking care of an elderly man in the next bed - he was doubly incontinent and extremely distressed and ashamed about this. The care from the nurses, their reassurance and compassion was exemplary. I was deeply impressed and moved.

We only hear the bad things on the news - what I saw is, I am sure, more the norm.

Your OH will feel a lot better when the fluid problem has been resolved I a sure. It is important that the pressure sores should be treated and further prevented, so it might be worth talking to the surgery and getting the district nurse on board to start tackling that problem even before his admission. Treating and preventing pressure sores is one of the most basic aspects of nursing and I am sure that those in hospital will be on top of this for him - just make sure that you make them aware of the problem straight away.

I hope that your fears are groundless and that this admission will make him feel much better.

Nonnie Tue 02-Dec-14 11:44:19

You have some good advice here, especially from Teetime and When. I agree with all who say you should tell the staff at the hospital what he is feeling and if you should be unlucky and get the one unsympathetic person on the staff don't worry, just tell someone else.

Hope all goes well flowers

grannyactivist Tue 02-Dec-14 12:15:21

Hello GreatauntieLinda, I'm glad you and your husband are both feeling a little calmer today. flowers

GreatauntieLinda Tue 02-Dec-14 12:20:10

Thank you all. Still no phone call. The District Nurse who comes in once a week organised a special mattress for the bed and a cushion for his chair. We take it in the car when we go out. We have protection for his elbow and Cavilon to rub on the other places. He is such a private person, so finds hospital quite embarrassing.

Thank you again for your kind words.

Kiora Tue 02-Dec-14 17:34:24

flowers for you both. It's normal to be scared. Especially with all the scaremongering that goes on. I hope the replies you've had to your post have reassured you both. On a positive note It's lovely to hear how love can deepen over the Years. Best wishes and keep us updated on his recovery.

Stansgran Wed 03-Dec-14 10:40:02

If he is a private person then perhaps you should be his spokesman . Doctors and nurses are not mind readers and just tell them and keep telling them about fears about bed sores about anything that worries you. One nurse or doctor may be told about a fear and then go off duty for two days. So don't keep worries to yourself.

GreatauntieLinda Wed 03-Dec-14 11:18:52

Stansgran - you made me smile. You see Bob doesn't get to say a word when we see Doctors etc. I do all the talking because the professionals talk so fast Bob cannot take it in. I have notes and everything. I even have a sheet of paper with all the information they need from name and address - medication - medical history. I've found that they all ask the same questions and to save repeating myself I just give them the sheet.

Still waiting for the phone call.

GreatauntieLinda Wed 03-Dec-14 11:19:46

Kiora - thank you and will do.

GreatauntieLinda Wed 03-Dec-14 23:46:09

Took DH into hospital late this afternoon. Followed all your advice. He now has an air bed, on oxygen and receiving excellent treatment from the Nurses. Goes on drip tomorrow. Am to take in our own supply of Suddacream for one of his problems. The hospital doesn't use it these days but its been working wonders for him.

Fears allayed by the professional kind hearted attitude of staff.

Again thank you all for your advice and wonderful words of support. Shall keep you posted.

whitewave Thu 04-Dec-14 10:23:08

Pleased to hear the news GREAT I bet you are feeling relieved and hopefully he will be so much better by Christmas.

jinglbellsfrocks Thu 04-Dec-14 10:25:33

Ooh, that's so good *GaLinda. Godspeed his homecoming.

GreatauntieLinda Thu 04-Dec-14 10:44:56

Thank you whitewave and jinglebellsfrocks.

Teetime Thu 04-Dec-14 10:52:43

Thats good news - I hope he is back home with you soon.

Mishap Thu 04-Dec-14 11:23:36

I am so pleased that your fears were unfounded and that he is receiving excellent care - that must be a huge relief for you.

rubysong Thu 04-Dec-14 12:15:24

All the best to your DH GALinda and to you. I hope all goes well and he is soon home. Please take him these flowers

GreatauntieLinda Thu 04-Dec-14 18:18:31

Thank you Teetime, Mishap and rubysong. I've been into see him this afternoon and must say that the oxygen is bringing back his old face. No longer gaunt. He is more chirpy too. The drip is doing its work as well.