Re: sisterly affection....don't make me laugh

Hurrah(sp?)

I opened the curtains at 10.55. Target achieved.

I have a success box in which I keep my achievements so that at times like this I can remind myself that it does get better.

It's hard for non sufferers to understand depression. I think part of it is that the word depression is misused. I often hear people say they feel depressed when they just mean they're fed up or a bit down in the dumps. Then there is short term depression caused by something that is/has happened. People tend to recover from these so they can't understand why someone with chronic depression can't.

It is so hard for those of us who have never suffered from real depression to understand what those of you who do , go through, but by all your posts I am starting to. My heart truly goes out to you and I hope you all start to see a light at the end. Perhaps we are all guilty of ,not quite dismissing, but not understanding enough.

I will hold you to that! Well done for being up.

As I have said on the depression thread, I have started an "Achievements" folder on my desktop and I am writing down each small step that I achieve to remind myself that I am making progress - your first entry for today could be "Got up and dressed" - well done.

Yes I'm up and dressed. DH has just gone out for a couple of hours so the curtains are closed but I'm psyching myself up to open them. My target is 11am.

I promise I'll have them open by then.

Are you UP!!!!!!????????

I know. Today was dangerous but I won't be able to do it tomorrow. DH will be here and, although, he doesn't force the matter, he encourages me to do things. So will be back on track. This is just a blip. It's a relapse and as long as I don't give in it will pass. But it so hard to fight sometimes.

Just the one day vampire - you need to be up and about tomorrow. We'll all be there to set of the alarm clock and boot you out of bed.

DH had to go to Leeds early this morning. I have pottered about but haven't got dressed or opened the curtains. He'll be back soon and will make sure I don't do it again tomorrow. I needed a day away from the world outside. The virtual world is much safer....well I feel in more control.

Are you feeling better today vampire?

He is English but is a very controlling man. He is always going on about how wonderful his life in the army was and pushing my nephew in that direction. Needless to say he never saw active service. DH, who saw horrific service in Kuwait, says it's the difference between being a soldier and a glorified Boy Scout.

Your sister and her husband sound like they have a lot of problems to me. Concentrate on yourself and getting well.

And well done DH.

I saw someone recoomend a book by Dr David Burns called when panic attacks.
I ordered it myself [I got it cheap secondhand from Amazon].
Lots of ideas and suggestions and exercises in it.

Unbelievably some of us do have people like this in our lives and they do not deserve us. Until they can behave better, they do not get us.

You stay strong and leave her to her own devices. She has to live with herself after all. Lots of understanding for not wanting to go out and to keeping the curtains closed. I did this for about two years but now live in a new house and my curtains are wide open, I chat to people and say to hell with the ones who want to make me ill. There are some wonderful people in the world, we need to seek them and ignore the rest. Xxx

Faye perhaps the ones I know are stuck in the past .....

You are right there Rosequartz, I have to comment, they are no more chauvinistic than Englishmen, in fact they are very similar.

VQ I can imagine you feeling unwell from all the stress, I hope you are feeling much better now.

DH, not EDH (I assume he is not an Elderly DH, that was a typo!)

vq well done, and open those curtains (it was a lovely day here today, so I hope it was where you are). Your EDH loves you and you know that you have behaved really well and got through that weekend. It is in the past now.

I am still giggling about your BIL's shoes in the cupboard . He does sound like a control freak and controls your sister, so presumably your sister takes every chance she can get to control other people to make her feel better.
Obviously your DM is not keen on that son-in-law either! Is he an Aussie? Or has he taken on Aussie Rules? Australian males can be somewhat chauvinistic to say the least.

(Now I will get a lot of replies from people who have the most wonderful, house-trained, docile Australian male relatives. )

Thank you everyone. Your positive comments have really helped me.

Well done you Vampire you behaved impeccably

What a strong woman you are, vampirequeen. You have done so well. The ones who matter are the ones who you love and cherish - just as you are loved and cherished by them. Stay strong and stay with us. xx

Only just caught this thread and read it through. What a sad person your sister is if she has to go to such lengths to put you down. She must feel very inadequate, having to try and prove herself all the time. Your having to ask to borrow money may have seemed demeaning to you at the time, but it put her in such a bad light. Going to the party when she thought she'd cut you out and maintaining your dignity took courage and self control a lot wouldn't have managed (not me for one).

Respect!

Look after yourself. I hope the sun shines for you soon

Exactly what wise Mishap said!

The blame is correctly placed Vampire. You rest and get better with your DH beside you. A sorry episode which will soon be behind you.

The medal is wonderful, thank you.

DH is being his normal wonderful self, gently encouraging and supporting me to do the things I no longer want to do. At least I don't feel quite so close to doing something drastic to myself.

This is my biggest setback since this episode of illness started in 2011. Normally I say my choices are mine and if I do negative things to myself then it's down to me but this time I really do blame my sister for pushing me over the edge.

Don't let it beat you vampire - I am not surprised it has tipped your centre of gravity a bit; it would have done this to anyone. Put that medal on and be kind to yourself - give yourself time to recover gently. We are all here for you.