Gransnet forums

Chat

My Mum - the snob!

(34 Posts)
kittylester Tue 14-Oct-14 10:03:38

Many of you will know about my Mum. We have had a 'difficult' relationship as I have let her down at every turn. grin

I went to see her yesterday and showed her the very nice silver Pandora bangle and charms that DH gave me for our anniversary.

'Hmmph', she said, 'Didn't know he was a cheapskate. I'd have given it back to him and told him to get me something in gold or not to bother!'

KatyK Tue 14-Oct-14 18:29:47

What sometimes goes wrong with the mother and daughter relationship I wonder? We know ourselves that our children are the most precious things in our lives. I can't believe that these so called 'difficult' mothers don't have reasons for the way they are. I think I am seen as 'difficult' lately.

KatyK Tue 14-Oct-14 18:44:48

Although obviously their reasons seem totally illogical

merlotgran Tue 14-Oct-14 18:50:12

My mother could be an awful snob. She tended to look down her nose at the couple next door even though they were kind to her and would have phoned me immediately if they thought there was something wrong.

The husband had to spend some time in hospital and the wife asked Mum if she'd mind washing a pair of new pyjamas she'd just bought as she was spending a lot of time at the hospital and the PJs were a bit stiff and shiny.

Mum rang me expecting me to get involved and tell her neighbour that my mother does NOT take in washing!! I pointed out to Mum that she shouldn't be surprised if they refused to look after her cat the next time she went away and it's not as if they were asking her to knit a pair of pyjamas. angry

Mum dutifully returned the PJs, washed and ironed. When I congratulated her on being a good neighbour she snapped, 'Don't get carried away, I put them on the shortest programme which merely refreshes them' grin

Ana Tue 14-Oct-14 18:50:40

Perhaps their expectations are too high, or not high enough? Perhaps they find it hard to see their daughter as a grown-up long after she's become one?

Perhaps they see in their daughter aspects of their own personality (or that of daughter's father) that they don't particularly like but won't acknowledge?

Relationships are so complicated...sigh!

KatyK Tue 14-Oct-14 18:53:24

They certainly are Ana !

kittylester Tue 14-Oct-14 19:00:48

My Mum only liked her sons!!!!

HollyDaze Wed 15-Oct-14 12:04:15

Perhaps they see in their daughter aspects of their own personality (or that of daughter's father) that they don't particularly like but won't acknowledge?

That's kind of similar to what my Dad said to me about my mum - he said that she resented my youth and even more so as it was something she couldn't take from me. It did make me wonder that if he was that aware of what she was doing, why didn't he try to put a stop to it?

Then again, she could have a very different reason - as she has told me, I ruined her life the day I was born!

My Mum only liked her sons

Same here - my brother can do no wrong. When he was over from Australia visiting, he went for a walk in the local park. My mother came into the room and asked where he was and my daughter said 'he's gone for a walk on the lake' - naughty I know but I did chuckle (but kept the chuckle hidden).

glammanana Wed 15-Oct-14 12:18:30

Kitty Your charms sound delightful how romantic to have the rings some men wouldn't even think of it,your OH sounds a very thoughtful chap indeed.