We're open. I'm just bringing the washing in. Help yourselves, and put money in the empty 'honesty box' at the end of the bar
What can be done about the avaricious and selfish
Angela Rayner is a scrounger, grifter and shameless hypocrite.
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Pete's old place has been empty for a while now but a few of us 'regulars' slipped down the lane one night, prised away a few planks holding the door on, and are now squatting in the public bar.
The tea-lights add an interesting 'dimension' to the bar (plus magically erase wrinkles
).
It needs cleaning up a bit - so laydees come along, bring rags/buckets/mops - and whatever else you can lay your mitts on to swab the decks down. I've brought a box of Country Manor perry - so bring your own tin mugs and we'll get started. The planned Grand Opening Night is tomorrow…so someone will need to nip down to the shop and get in a few bottles. Glam are you okay with rustling up some sausages rolls? you could put a bit of that green stuff (parsley?) on them to make them look posh…..
Hmm...let's hope there'll be fewer foreign coins, Asda tokens and IOUs in it at the end of the week than there were in Pete's day! 
Have you got a telly in the bar? Can't miss Bake Off.
I've put an IOU in the honesty box and nicked a bottle of 
Back later
Hopefully glam will start paying back for the stuff I subbed her for when she went to the Cash 'n' Carry on Sunday
Entertainment tonight Laydees:
a QUIZ has kindly been written for us by Miss Maniac (sparkys escort?) a clue to every answer is …'dog'. Winners can donate a fiver to the 'Honesty Box'.
The juke box is now plugged in. Some of the records are a bit scratchy but a quick thump on the top soon sorts em out.
Bar menu tonight (if our chief cook and bottle washer glam gets here on time) is: Cockles boiled in pear perry, smothered in marge and served with very crusty toasted bread. A pick will be provided free. As baskets are in short supply, you'll only get one if you ask, otherwise the cockles come in a little bowl thing. Please leave all shells in bowls - they will recycled for table decorations at a later date.
The Juke-box costs 2/= for a 4 play selection and won't accept (1) foreign coins, (2) I.O.U's or (3) Asda tokens
Sorry, the quiz is being done by MrsP's escort. Sparky's bringing her piano along
Marge isn't good for us - we want butter, please! 
In fact I'm pretty sure glamma would never countenance serving any sort of polyunsaturated rubbish - have you got that right, boheminan? 
I'm back....All 
out!
There's a bucket of eels out the back. If glam doesn't want them I'll let them loose in the bar at closing time. Never fails
Here at last all those cockles had me round the bend they take ages to scream & open and boy do they scream,I haven't brought the shells far to heavy to carry for a delicate thing like me
Don't believe I owe anything from the cash & carry I did mention that the stock accidentely feel into the boot of my car !!
Thinking I will do well at the quiz if all the questions are dog related,I've meet a few in my time mostly pedigree's but a few mongrels here & there.
I've got the butter for you Ana don't you be touching that other stuff its like wagon fat so not good for you,got to keep up standards don't you know.
Got to dash Big brother on soon and don't want to miss it,got to support the scouser so enjoy your cockles and be careful where you leave your picks.
Hump day MrsP?
Sounds like she needs more than a G&T
merlot
SlumDOG Millionnaire.
Am I in the LEAD?
Fiver??? Where am I.....The village shop?
I've only had one glass and watered down the rest. You could flog it to the vicar for Communion Wine.
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