Going to the ex's funeral, etiquette?

Yes Henetha, I was in a similar situation.
My Ex Husband, was not living in England, but as we were still friends, he came to stay with me for a break.
To cut a long story short, he wasn't feeling too good. Turned out to be Terminal Cancer. 6 months later he died, spent the last Day of his life in a lovely Hospice.
I don't regret looking after him, (You cant throw a Human being away) My Daughter came to help me look after him most days. Wasn't easy for her, as she worked, and had an hours drive to get to me.
My opinion MarionH Be guided by your instincts. Good Luck with your decision.

My ex has terminal cancer and our sons are pleased that I am doing my best to help and support him, - like going to chemo sessions with him etc.
It seemed weird at first but we are getting used to it now and he has become a sort of 'friend'.
I must admit though that it is easier in our case as neither of us are now with any other partner so there are no toes to tread on.
I fully intend to go to his funeral when the inevitable happens.

Good luck MarionHalcombe. These situations are very complicated.
I honestly think, - if in doubt do the kind thing. In my opinion, I think you should go to the funeral, although I realise it's a difficult decision.

I have thought of this as me ex has had many near misses in recent years and eventually his cirrhosis will be the end of him. I've decided to ask my daughter what she would like me to do but to keep it to attending the service not the funeral tea afterwards. I hope its not too stressful for you all.

I would go if the children wanted me there, after all a funeral is more for the ones who are left behind than the person who has died, if that makes sense.

My friend went to his ex-wife's funeral. I suppose it all depends on whether you mutual children would like you to be there and whether there are any new family who might not want you to.

This could well happen to me, and if so I fully intend to be there to support our children. I think my DH might come too, as he's very fond of our children TG. Brought them up for most of their dependent years.
But I'm jumping the gun, what if I go first? He (ex) couldn't come, in his state of health, but you never know.

Do you mean that the fiancée asked your DD if she (fiancée) could be involved in the funeral arrangements? I'm not quite sure what advice you're seeking, Marion, as it seems as though everyone is being perfectly reasonable...

It was assumed by my children that OH and I would attend their father's funeral. He didn't have a partner at the time he died but neither of his 'other'ex wives attended. I was able to comfort our son as he was trying to be the strong dry eyed one for his two sisters but broke down so it was good that we were there.

As long as your children are happy for you to go along then I would certainly do so it sounds like his family wouldn't object either.

I would be there in every sense of the word for my children. Perhaps ask them if they would be happy for you just to attend the service. However, if they wanted me at the wake I would. Provided this didn't cause problems with his fiancée.
I hope it all goes as well as can be expected.

I've often wondered about this. I have decided that if my daughter wants me there for support, I will go. I don't honestly think his partner would mind if I was there. I'd rather not, I have to say. But I suspect that my daughter will want her mum at a time like that.