'Lending' our stuff to family

I have just given DD a list of clothes that are 'missing' from my wardrobe. Thankfully she is not the same shoe size!

My mother gives me things, or rather, she used to when she was downsizing or moving. However MiL only 'lends' and I hate it. Because your child could be sitting there in the middle of piano practise and she would suddenly decided that she 'needed' it back. I now refuse to take anything, which annoys her because she really just wants somewhere to house things for her for a while, because she is a real hoarder and can't bear to part with anything whatsoever.

When my mother went into a care home and I had the unenviable task of clearing out her bungalow and the junk heirlooms, I laid out all the nick-nacks in the dining room, put photos on facebook and asked every member of the family to let me know what they wanted. A few things were requested but there wasn't exactly a mad rush.

A year later, DD2 put photos of her new kitchen on facebook. You could just about see an olive green and gold 1970s coffee set on a shelf in the background.

I then had about ten messages from various family members all saying, I WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT!!!

We have a catch phrase in our family. If something goes missing we say it's been NBBd.......Nicked by Becky!!

Only a few thousand pounds !!!

In general I neither borrow nor lend so I'm struggling to think of anything - except books. If a book is particularly good the WM and I often buy several copies to give to friends/family rather than lend.

Sorry grannyactivist what's WM?

At one point when the children were at University I had "lost" all but one of my large bath sheet sized towels. I wrote them both a tongue in cheek complaint about my bath sheets becoming an endangered species having migrated to Lancashire and Yorkshire. A couple did come back. The one from my son had become a decidedly odd shade of purple.

I keep seeing one of my very old cereal bowls at my sons house.

My DD has my biggest casserole/pan. I have often regretted letting her have it but her need is greater than mine. She has four lovely children to feed, whereas here there is just DH and me.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

besotted WM is ga's Wonderful Man!

And - hello!

At least one cookery book has vanished. But apart from that, nothing much so far. However, I know that GD1 has her eye on a couple of antique pieces of furniture which I will bequeath to her, or hand over when she gets her own home - a long time in the future, I think!

Various items of kitchen equipment including loads of very useful plastic containers, gardening stuff by the wheelbarrow load. And more £ than I care to think about so I don't . And just one more thing I get lots of requests to just post this for me Mum ..... My brilliant children have not yet grasped the concept of postage stamps or paying for them. My dear Mother would have said ' no such thing as bad children only bad parents' always was very grateful NOT for that piece of advice .

Many years ago when my DD was a teenager, she was going out for the day with her friend. She asked if she could take my newly bought cool box. I said yes of course. She came home minus the cool box. She had left it at her friend's house, she said she would get it next time she went. Every time she went she forgot to bring my cool box. Eventually after about 6 months, she brought it back. A couple of weeks later her friend's dad came to my door and said 'can we have our cool box back!' And I gave it to him and it was mine! I can't believe I did that, I wouldn't do it now but I don't think I fancied a doorstep argument over a cool box.

Lona

Now I come to think about it, once, when my sons were teenagers, I had a useful folding bike which DS2 asked to borrow. He took it to the leisure centre where he had a part-time job and left it outside. When his father came to pick him up, he forgot that he had my bike with him. So need I say that someone else took it? I remind him occasionally that he still owes me a bike, 25 years later!

For sheer size, it would be my wheelbarrow - borrowed by my son and he never did return it no matter how many times I asked him to.

The rest of the stuff (smaller items) over the years that both of my children have borrowed and not returned would dwarf the wheelbarrow several times over!

Now, I don't lend them anything. If I don't mind the fact I'll never see the requested item again, I'll give it to them - otherwise, they get told 'no' and why I'm saying 'no'.

I found a lovely throw my daughter's had bought me to go with a picnic basket when I went to my son's home, also a rug and several pieces of crockery.

generally tupperware type things... if DD;s partner doesn't make it for dinner, we send it home to him to microwave- she has loads of my containers, plus a few plates

Lots of plates from a kitchen dinner service as DS used to take a meal to work to re-heat and the plates never came home again.

Tupperware type stuff which I replace and then it all comes back

My big blue Le Crueset.

The space in our garage to store stuff of ours that they might need! Eg Grandma's sideboard, a desk and numerous chairs!