My gast is really flabbered!

In market research we have to simply ask who is the chief income earner, it can be anyone, form any source and you do not have to tell them how much income you have. we simply have to record the job that the chief income earner does. It is over 20 years since we have asked who the head of the household is so you should not be asked that.

The reason we ask that is because the answers you give are meaningless unless we know what the job of the chief income earner is because all answers are recorded according to social grade. This is done because the answers from an unemployed person who has no financial commitments will be vastly different to someone with a good job and responsibilities.

Also, questions about say, tv watching for example, will be different for an unemployed person or a retired person who has more time to view. A working person may not have much time to view and may be more selective. Equally someone who is more educated may have different viewing patterns to someone with no qualifications.

This is not sinister and no one has their identity passed on, all they pass on is statistics e.g. 25 per cent of the population watch the news or 10 per cent watch soaps.
So please do not be offended we are just doing our job

A lady I knew in Austin, Texas often used to wear shorts around the office - it was a software company after all... There were several companies housed in the building, and one day she overheard, as she was meant to, two snooty typists at the water-cooler, with one saying 'Well, if I was her boss I wouldn't allow her to come in like that'. My friend turned and went back to where they stood, and thoroughly enjoyed informing them 'I happen to own the company!'

We called her 'Dragon Lady'...

We have caller display but, as it's a business line, we answer anyway in case it's 'business'. We cdon't answer the home phone unless the little blighters use 'number withheld' which could also be my brother, a couple of friends, some bits of Mum's home or a friend of Mum's who visits every fortnight at the age of 86!! So we answer most things anyway!

The Preference Service doesn't work.

Every afternoon we have been having a telephone call offering to help us with our debts if they are over £5,000 .

When these cold callers phone (which they shouldn't as I am on the Preference Service) and they ask me how I am, I respond in my schoolmarm voice' Do you know me?' and surprisingly this throws them. I then put down the phone.

Sorry not 'home' meant 'him'.

I once had a caller at the door ask for 'the man of the house'. I told home that was me.

Once I was stopped by a market research person in the street. As she was very friendly and pleasant, I agreed to answer her questions.

First question, who is the Head of household in your house?

Nobody, I replied.

Well, she said someone must be.

No, I replied.

Do you have a husband?

Yes.

So he must be the head of household!

No.

Who earns the most money- and... do you work?

He does, no I do not.

So he is definitely the head of household.

Me, no. Good bye

Oh dear! - will things never change?

When first married, I had a tax form and filled it in, only to have it returned with the info that my hubby should fill it in. I said that he had no income as he was a student with no grant, and I was the breadwinner. I was told that he should fill it in in his name, putting my income down! We've moved on from that at least!

I once answered my accounts clerk's phone and the voice the other end said: 'Are you Mr Smith's secretary? I replies 'No, I am his manager, can I help you?' It was very satisfying.

Sussex A nice one that.

If he phones again - and this sort of dickhead often does - ask to speak to his CEO, pointing out that you are the owner of the business and don't take calls from office boys! And write a letter of complaint to the owner of his business, suggesting that he/she recruit staff with more than one brain cell each!

I do hope you told him!