Lessons from dad

ffinnocchio - no need for anyone to feel apologetic that they were lucky enough to grow up with a loving father or indeed have their dad around supporting them in adult life. For many of us that is unimaginable. But that is just the randomness of life.

I worded that badly Jess. ".... undercurrent of apology from those......"

Thanks for .

Yep, just the randomness of life....

You didn't word your post badly at all ffinnochio. It was spot on.

In wartime it happens that young people coming together for very brief periods of time (I think six weeks was quite an average stopping off time in journeys down the country to the coast) fell in love. And the consequences were, almost inevitably, that the young woman was left literally holding the baby. No easy thing in those times.

But I do appreciate that Gransnet cannot take all that kind of stuff into consideration.

Thank you Grannyknot.
But I also think my little bit has another message that I didn't make clear. My sons father was the exact opposite...he has not bothered with his children since he walked away when they were young...he has not met, nor shown interest in the 5 wonderful grandchildren that are now here.
I think my sons, although learning much from my Dad, manners, compassion etc., also learned a lesson from their Father...as in how NOT to treat your children!
It saddened me for many a year that the relationship was a total non-starter, but, despite many attempts by me and the boys over the years, he really couldn't care less.
So I have seen both sides of fatherhood, I'm just glad that my Dad gave a positive role model not only for me, but for my sons too!
Again, thank you Dad, and for those that weren't so lucky.

gratefulgran - you have made me realise that I did, after all, learn something from my father - how NOT to treat your children.

As I was growing up, hearing what other fathers did for their daughters made me aware of the shortcomings of my own Dad. I felt sorrow for what I didn't have but he was always there & my understanding of him increased the more I realised the impact of losing his father in WW1 when he was 3 on his ability to father. But he did teach me how to play patience, do cryptic crosswords & how to spell 'antidisestablishmentarianism'. Giving me a drag on his ciggy aged 7 put me off smoking for life.
Reading this thread is also making me think of other things that I've too easily disregarded. So if a thread makes even a few of us think better of our Dads, then it is not a frivolous one.
To me father's Day is manufactured & not important but it doesn't make me think others shouldn't keep it.

PS to JanePGN: reading your 'amount of days in a month' reminds me my Dad also taught me the difference between amount & number. But perhaps the rules have changed.

My father taught me to drive, change wheel, hang wallpaper, the joy of travelling, opera and classical music and the value of education

Dear me jinglbellsfrocks, you are in a bad mood. I for one, love the idea of talking about my dad. Yes, he died a long time ago, but I have wonderful memories, and by the way he taught me to drive, to love gardening and reading. He was a true gentleman.

I am in an excellent mood inishowen. At this moment I am planning my next trip abroad with DD. Prague this time.

I am so relieved I managed to learn to garden and to enjoy reading, and many other things, all off my own bat. Phew!

(driving never has appealed, no matter how my son and daughter try to get me to allow them to teach me)

I do hope you are in a happy mood as well.

jingle do you have happy memories of your mother? I don't. You win some, you lose some!

gadabout

I'm sure many of the posters making positive comments about their fathers could also list things they learned not to repeat with their own children. We were constantly on the move because of dad's work. In his 80's, he asked my sister if he'd been a good dad, and talked about how bad he felt about the number of moves we'd had. Those of this with children have never moved away from the area they were born in, as we knew the value of stability in school and friendships. None of us are perfect, and we can't expect perfection from our parents. Those of us lucky to have parents who did their best to meet our emotional needs, and keep us safe are very fortunate.

My lovely Dad taught me to appreciate simple things like bread and cheese and a nice chilled glass of cider. A freshly brewed cup of coffee.

He taught me to be polite and kind.

He gave his grandson a love of books and I am only sad that he is not here to see his GS is now a successful children's author.

He wasn't perfect, but I have missed him every day since he died 26 years ago.

kitty* I have lovely memories of my mother, although she was only around till she was fortyfive. She, and my Granny, gave me such a happy childhood.

It must have been worse to be without a Mother.

I still have my mum jingle - just not the happy memories so my happy memories of my dad are precious!

Oh yes! Sorry! Of course you have. Apologies. (Don't think my brain was working when I did that post. )

Pity you cant choose your father is all I will say.

Sorry I seem to have killed this thread

Don't worry glassortwo, maybe it was ready to die.
i bet lots of us wish we could have chosen our father. And, I'll bet a lot of gransnetters wish they'd chosen the father/s of their children with more knowledge than they had at some points in their lives

I had a lovely, thoughtful father and one of his favourite bits of advice to us was the Latin phrase 'Carpe diem' (Seize the day). As I get older I recall this advice more and more frequently, and try to appreciate every day. My father died in 2001 and I would love to be able to thank him and tell him how often I remember these words and how they affect the way I think and behave, so much more so now than when he said or wrote them to me years ago.

I don't remember my dad teaching me much at all - he was not a very "hands on" dad, suffered from quite severe depression and was useless at anything practical - it was my mum who drove and who did the decorating, minor repairs and the gardening, etc. He once tried to put a picture up and knocked a huge chunk out of the wall.

But he was still my dad - faults and all - and I although he infuriated me quite often I do miss him and wish that his life had been happier and more fulfilling.