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where have they gone?

(168 Posts)
rosesarered Thu 10-Apr-14 20:46:36

Looking at threads/posts from 2012 and 2013 there are so many people who no longer post on here. I realise that some may well have died [though not too many I hope]. I wondered if this was just a normal thing, that people came in , posted for a while, maybe a year and then lost interest.Perhaps that's it.

Tegan Fri 11-Apr-14 10:07:17

Why should we want Gransnet to be an aggressive place? Isn't being grown up about being pleasant to people and thinking before we say things, even on a forum?

Atqui Fri 11-Apr-14 10:13:32

Perhaps the people who take the criticism personally are those who DO share it's political 'take' on things. I never read it unless someone posts a link, but I can see that some people may get a bit annoyed when it is assumed that nobody on GN could possibly agree the views expressed in the DM!

Atqui Fri 11-Apr-14 10:14:19

Sorry Tegan wasn't ignoring your post.. I don't type very quicly

Atqui Fri 11-Apr-14 10:14:58

And when I do It comes out wrong!!

rosesarered Fri 11-Apr-14 10:19:30

So, to sum up , many reasons why original posters don't make themselves known/have changed names [I didn't think of that] or no longer contribute.
I think that I only found this site last Autumn, but do agree with POGS that it seems a bit nicer now than then.There is no point posting to just 'join in' with everyone elses thinking, if your own opinion differs, why not air your opinion in a non rude way?That's what stimulates debate isn't it?it would be very boring to read that we all think the same [which is impossible anyway.]It's a shame if people who previously enjoyed the site felt they had to leave though.There are so very many names I don't recognise looking through the last threads from 2 years ago.Don't flee to the safety of home and food items, come back to general chat and debate,we will be waiting , if not with open arms, then at least without a concealed dagger.I hope!!!!

MiniMouse Fri 11-Apr-14 10:52:06

If nothing else, the DM opens up discussions! The best part is reading the comments at the end of the articles!

I'm still a bit of a New Girl to GN and I have to admit to being very wary of posting anything even slightly contentious or resembling an opinion because of some of the comments that some posters have left for others. Disagreeing with an opinion is fine, that's what it's all about, but some posters seem to make it very personal and unpleasant - & intimidating.

That said, the majority come across as lovely, caring and very wise & I'm glad I joined GN smile

J52 Fri 11-Apr-14 11:41:24

I too only post occasionally, sometimes it is to lend support, sometimes to share information and sometimes to join in with my opinion. ( gently, I hope ) i do enjoy the variety of comments made by others, especially since retirement. I now tend to mix with like minded people and miss the variety that work colleagues brought to my life! Even though some were infuriating!
I did venture on to MN, but they were too strong in their 'put downs' for me! I think as life rolls on we can see the value in not getting too wound up by others! X

Nonu Fri 11-Apr-14 11:46:23

I think G/N is a much calmer place to be now , I am VERY glad to say.
and has been for several months , is more enjoyable .
I think that a little peppery banter is refreshing , however it got that anyone said the slightest thing that people didn't agree with , it was taken as an imagined slight and they would get defensive and unpleasant.
Live and let live is my motto , wey hey!!
smile

Nonu Fri 11-Apr-14 11:59:18

I am in total agreement with 3rd para of pogs 23.51, my feelings to a T.
smile

rosequartz Fri 11-Apr-14 15:23:48

Totally off beam, but when I read the title I thought it was asking where
all the forums have gone. I have lost most of them, only about half a dozen showing up and wondered if anyone else is having this problem? I had problems last evening getting on to the site as well.

I joined not very long ago and get pulled up short if someone gives a sharp answer I must admit. However, if we all agreed on everything it would be a very dull world. The sort of people who may be patronising or nasty would be the sort of people I would avoid in real life, so have learnt to retreat if it happens on here (mainly, but not always if I do feel strongly about a subject!)

quynh1990 Fri 11-Apr-14 15:29:05

I'm a new administrator, I hope make many friends! smile

kittylester Fri 11-Apr-14 16:22:29

???? confused

Nonu Fri 11-Apr-14 16:23:54

quynh , I think you may mean poster !
Anyway , I hope you make plenty friends , I am sure you will !
Tell us a little of yourself ?

smile

MiniMouse Fri 11-Apr-14 17:16:37

quynh1990 hmm wink

JanePGransnet (GNHQ) Fri 11-Apr-14 17:23:56

Welcome to the site quynh1990. As Nonu said, I'm sure you will make many friends here.

And also as Nonu suggested... just to clarify, you're a new poster, not a new administrator.

Enjoy yourself here. I know I do smile

Ariadne Fri 11-Apr-14 17:36:45

GN is certainly "nice" these days; however, I used to ask my students to avoid using "nice" because it was over used and had connotations of blandness. I agree with myself! There is a tendency towards blandness at the moment, which is why GN seems "nice".

I do love GN, but when even a serious discussion is peppered with irrelevant and inane comments, it does annoy me.

I do think there is some robust debate, but agree that some people, when they find find their own opinions challenged, tend to take it personally, which is where the rancour over, say, The DM, occurs. Then the debate loses its focus and descends into personal in fighting, people become upset, and perhaps withdraw or leave.

MiniMouse Fri 11-Apr-14 17:44:54

Ariadne I agree with you completely!

Plus, regarding 'nice' - I remember at school (sometimes my memory still functions!!) being told not to use the word nice, but to find alternatives. Sometimes it's harder than you think!

MargaretX Fri 11-Apr-14 17:50:21

You must have gone to the same school as did. Never say nice - but it is a useful word. When Greatnan was posting GN was much livelier because she posted so many threads each day and always had a view for or against. I feel maybe we don't have the time to post on 20 threads each day, I definitely don't .
Still I keep up with GN in a daily basis.

Nonu Fri 11-Apr-14 18:30:48

Gosh, I love the word NICE, can"t be bothered to think of anything else these days , it was an awful long time since I was at school!!
Still what ever floats your boats gals .

smile smile

rosesarered Fri 11-Apr-14 18:33:17

There are some names on here that I am envious of envy....... I wish now that I had thought up a better posting name. Still, I do like red roses.

Nelliemoser Fri 11-Apr-14 18:35:55

I haven't posted a lot lately. I am not sure why, maybe the threads themselves have not appealed or because of other personal distractions.

Partly I have tried to spend less time on GN and actually do other things.

Once I start on here in a morning its hard to get off again.

ffinnochio Fri 11-Apr-14 18:36:50

GN is at it is. It changes along with the mix of posters. The dynamics constantly ebb and flow. It's a forum for all ideas, thoughts and feelings for those who wish to engage with it.
For those who find it rather bland, or too nice, then throw in a challenge or two for a robust debate. Engage others with new ideas. If not then there's a gentle ride.
A good debate is a way of hearing many points of view which I find can be illuminating in checking my own stance on any given subject.
Kindness, intellectual rigor, compassion, defensiveness and cranky/crabby moments are all here - plenty to choose from as and when.

MiniMouse Fri 11-Apr-14 18:37:58

NellieM I know what you mean! It's terrifyingly addictive and I don't need any encouragement to avoid dealing with all the housey stuff and clutter!!

ffinnochio Fri 11-Apr-14 18:39:03

...and even if I don't engage much, I certainly sit back and read. Learn a lot that way.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 11-Apr-14 18:39:17

Tegan, you totally misunderstood me.

Never mind.