Nature/ nurture / rebellion

petra, there was some research published recently that suggested that what we are is decided more by nature than nurture but as someone on a radio programme said this evening, is not a forecast of destiny because what is inherited and what is nurtured will vary quantitively and qualitively from person to person.

I am like my father, I like things neat and tidy, DD is very like my sister and a maternal aunt, squirrels, who try to be tidy but do not entirely succeed. DS is probably ADD (ADHD without the hyperactivity) and with that comes the chaos. DDiL is not particularly tidy but at times DS's level of chaos does cause problems.

penguinpaperback I think the world is divided into chuckers and hoarders. My mother was a hoarder. When we cleared her house after her death we found bizarre things, such as my old school uniform – I was 53 when she died – and the insurance documents for cars she and my father owned before I was even born. My aunt was the same – her house was crammed full of old paint cans and bags and bags of clean old stockings. I am a chucker while Mr absent is hoarder of "things that might come in handy" – and sometimes they do but not 10 metres of mini trunking.

gratefulgran it sounds as though you are doing a fantastic job to me.
'Mad spurts' while having to do a full time and 2 part time jobs.
I haven't told my daughter the older she gets the more like me she seems. We both do enough housework to get by. She has two little ones that love cutting, painting doing all sorts of arty stuff and she is relaxed about any mess, she just hoovers up all the glitter and bits of play-doh in the carpet at the end of the day. I used to be tidier but am now quite disabled so as long as you don't look too closely my house is ok..ish.
My Mum was quite a hoarder, I'm not but my sister is. She works full time, teaching and is marking and preparing lessons every evening and keeps her house clean. But due to the clutter she hardly ever invites any visitors or family round. When our mother died my sister took bags and bags of mum's clothes, books, everything she could get into several car trips.
I'm gently trying to persuade her to give some things to charity and perhaps keeping a bookcase of Mum's books where she can see them every day rather than lots of books in bags in her loft.
Mum's father was also a hoarder.

I think they rebel, but my experience is the opposite to yours.
I am by no means houseproud. It's tidy (ish) and everything has a place, although it's not always in it. It's clean, but not squeakily so, and I don't worry overly much about it on the whole.
Having said that, I do have what my DSs used to call 'Mums mad spurts' every 2-3 weeks, where everything gets attacked with babywipes, bleach, disinfectant, the hoover and a fluffy duster accordingly.

I do like it to look nice, but with bringing my DSs up single-handed for many years with only what I could earn (no financial support from their father), therefore having 2 or 3 jobs on the go at a time as well, I think I just got into the habit of doing the bare minimum through lack of time and energy, and it's sort of stuck. But then so has the work pattern. Never lucky enough to meet anyone else, so still doing 1 full-time and 2 part-time jobs to keep body and soul together...sometimes it feels like I only come home to eat and sleep

And yet all 3 DSs are bordering on OCD. They hoover, wipe, tidy constantly, even after their partners have already done so, and all 3 of them have perfectly lined up/alphabetically sorted/grouped in type, CDs, DVDs and console games and ornaments, knick-knacks, pictures etc placed just so, and woe betide anyone that upsets that order, or, in the case of the GC, touches them!
Obviously they are rebelling against the slovenly way they were dragged up lol