Do you belong to any other forums?

Part of your post I agree with kittilester but suggesting it is new posters seems unreasonable. Mostly it appears to be longer term posters who jump in with the vitriol. It also strikes me that if you are a male on here you either need to hide the fact or be very, very brave.

Yes there are other websites but I suspect they would be found to be lacking in oomph. Mind you too much more of this contnual, heated, unnecessary argument will cause the quieter members to 'vote with their feet'. In which case things will only get worse.

I agree with kittylester and with lizG in that there does seem to be vitriol unleashed on the posts. I also agree that it seems to be a group of long term posters who feel that they can be disruptive as they like and then when pulled up on their lack of respect for fellow posters point of view become worse!
There appear to be some posters who seem to take a perverse delight in being disruptive.

Why not look for forums that apply to your own hobbies and interests - they are not usually contentious. I belong to a snorkelling forum and three expat forums (but the latter are often very contentious, and it is mainly the men who argue with each other!)

I don't think our men members are badly treated, unless they break forum rules. The bar and banter threads seem to be their natural home

I am afraid that this type of thread does not help in keeping this forum friendly and sweet - everybody obviously thinks that the trouble-makers are 'that lot'! We do get the odd troll who seems to go from forum to forum but they are usually sussed out pretty quickly.

This forum is very often not friendly and sweet so I feel entitled to ask the question.

Although I often read the forums on Gransnet don't post often.

Also a member of moneysaving expert.com, finding the tips and advice offered both onsite and forums invaluable.

Most forums can become invaded by keyboard warriors who can disrupt the boards, it's best to just ignore and move to the next topic.

Best wishes

Kitty I think the answer is to stick with the threads where you feel comfortable and not get personally involved with the vitriol.
I'm still a member of the Dentists' forum that I used to moderate - there was a slightly different way of handling things on there when things got overheated. Rather than deleting posts (never whole threads as far as I remember) one of the moderators would come on with a warning that things were progressing in the wrong direction, and ask people to remember guidelines etc.
We seem to have got to the stage on GN where the actual deleting of the threads/posts is causing as much nastiness as the original nastiness itself.
for you.

I have been lurking recently because of the strident and assertive (I was going to say aggressive) tone of some posters. I hate confrontation and find some old hands on here very intimidating. I was going to walk away, as others have done, but the measured and logical responses of some regular posters have kept me reading but not posting.

I agree with you about the vitriol Kittybut it's not just some of the newer posters!

Vitriol? Aggressiveness? Stridency? And I missed it all? Seriously, I've seen nothing of the kind here.

A bunch of pussy-cats if you ask me!

O God, here comes the paranoia again.

I don't understand why this stuff has to be posted. Why not just deal with whatever upsets you as it comes along, either by fighting your corner or going away from that particular thread.

And if HQ upsets you, take the piss out of them. The present bunch (Cari and Kat excluded) seem to ask for nothing less.

Here we go again!!!

Sadly (but I feel lucky and blessed having read many stories on here) Grandchildren are my interest Greatnan so this is the place I would prefer to be though I do find the continual arguing quite exhausting. When I returned to Gransnet I promised myself I would keep away from angry threads but this is difficult because there are so many of them now.

So there are two threads men can safely enter, plus 'the shed' if that is still running; this does seem unreasonable to me. I feel sure men have views too but do we listen? Gransnet seems very unbalanced and whether rightly or wrongly, we have just lost two men.

Generally I am not an argumentative person but do feel that I too should be allowed a right of reply and if this means a separate thread then so be it.

Kitty you ARE allowed to ask the question.

Our posts crossed, JO - you've expressed my sentiments entirely! Leave it out, ladies!

I won't ask what you mean hummingbird. I will take my own advice.

OH sorry. I thought your remark was aimed at me. See what I mean about paranoia?!

I try very hard, now, not to enter into anything that is becoming unpleasant, but sometimes that means hesitating to join a discussion where I really want to say something, because of the possible repercussions. It's probably not helpful to blame perceived "factions" for the vitriol, because I am not sure that they actually exist!

We should not forget the help and support that we all get from other GNs when we need it. It is truly invaluable. (Spoken from the heart.)

kitty I do think that when GN first started members where more subdued in their posting whilst they "found their feet" so to speak,and as time has progressed members posting's have not got more aggressive as such but more open with their thoughts and are not frightened to put them down in their posting's, as a Forum progresses all sorts of different views will be put forward and as long as it doesn't get personal or insulting I think myself GN is coming along fine from those first days.I post most days on some topic or another if not I do read the latest posts to see if anything of interest grabs my attention.

The OP asked about other forums. The only other one I visit has an area dedicated to contentious topics with a sort of 'enter if you dare' flavour to it. This helps to separate out those who simply want to vent.

Well said, glam. That's my feeling too. Plus, there were what might be called robust exchanges early on anyhow. There will be more now because there are more members.

I also second ariadne's point about support when needed.

I belong to several other sites of interest to me, some are specific in content and a couple of others are just meeting places for like minded women. I once made the mistake of introducing someone to a very small forum I've belonged to for years and boy was that a big mistake , she caused so much trouble they banned her . So I'll enjoy my few other forums but I'm afraid I'll keep them to myself.

Aka I think I am a member of the same Forum,a sort of warning just in case you are looking for a light chat well you won't find it there.

Can't be the same one Glamma because a 'pleasant chat' part of that Forum exists too. It is effectively split into two parts.

Or was that what you were saying?

May I ask as a new poster? How long does one need to post here to become an old poster? Is there a date set? all posting before 00/00/0000 are old
Posters - not in age - and all after are newer posters

One needs to know where one is in this pecking order! thanks