"Get a life"

And why should a life be little because you have something to be sad about?

Sadness gives chiaroscuro to life, and makes days or monents of happiness even more bright, and many people achieve much despite their inner sadness, often making lives better for others.

And when someone is mired in misery, it is better to give them a hand up out of it than to condemn them.

I can tolerate 'Where's your sense of humour', 'get over it', 'move on' and even 'get a life'. The one phrase I have found unforgiveable is 'sad little lives' as many of us have revealed our deep sorrow about some family tragedy. I hope the smug person who said it will never know the pain that some of us know every day of our lives.

Could always say 'go away you're boring'. It's happened to me ....

Perhaps good advice but find a better way to express it.

No amount of emoticons could help this one.

I think it sounds as if the sayer feels superior to the person they are addressing. I admit to having thought it about people but don't think I would say it to them as it would offend although I might suggest things they could do which would give them a life.

Perhaps it applies also to the nit-pickers on GN? What do others think?

I teach the idiom 'get a life' and usually describe it as having a negative, critical or sarcastic sense.
In terms of the OP's mother in law though I think it was actually good advice. When I married the WM I knew that he was an adventurer at heart - I also knew that I was not. From the beginning I always supported him in his adventures and often joined him (because I wanted to be with him even if it did mean I had to climb a mountain or go on a route march hiking trip/kayaking etc.), but I also did my own thing. Now my adventuring days are over, but I'm more than happy to encourage the WM to continue because adventures are in his DNA. He is very appreciative of my support and always discusses his plans with me before making decisions, he also is happy to give me encouragement to do my own thing. Including to spend an inordinate amount of time on Gransnet!

Dorset Grannyknot my views as well on the Golf, Football and for me Music widow bit.

I think J08 has a good point though.

I think it can be useful but this phrase does need to be used with care. It is another one of those expressions which when written down and without the context of tone of voice and any relationship with the receiver can be harsh.
Its why as has been said before in the cyber space of GN a wink or grin emoticon can change the tone of the remark totally.

As a sentiment it can be a genuinely positive form of encouragement to go and do something about it but it is too often a dismissive response to a plea which can be heart-felt even desperate. It's like get over it, lighten up and tell me about it all of which trip too easily off the tongue and show scant respect for the other person.

Marigold , ^ I KNOW ^ what you meant . Can be quite a useful phrase .

So Grannyknot you made the best out of a bad situation because as you rightly said he was being selfish, but good for you you handled it very well and as you say you were then happy.

I have the same life as you as my husband is one that thinks we should do our own thing, but I did not marry so that I could always be doing my own thing and un like you have allowed it to make me un happy really.

Grrrrr

Jingle surely it's ok to have a thread which has been prompted by something on another thread isn't it?

Personally, I currently have enough of a life just to be really pleased to sit down and read a book when DH and DS1 go out to enjoy their football. [smile[

My apologies to all for using the phrase " get a life," it was said in the context of moving on from the past, not to offend.

The rest of the time he is in his shed building the things model aeroplanes.

(I love him really!)

My DH goes off flying his toy model aeroplanes twice a week. I don't mind at all. Funnily enough.

MicElf sorry, I don't get your meaning. Probably being thick.

This thread is about the use of "get a life" on this thread. I expressed my dislike of the phrase.

What am I supposed to be feeling guilty about?

'another interest' . I'm chuckling into my coffee...

Every time I struck out on my own, my ex-OH got envious and sulked. When we both joined an organisation and I began to take a leading role, he stopped coming to meetings. He didn't like it when I joined a women's group although he professed himself a 'feminist' . So once I got over the shock that he had found himself 'another interest', and gone to live with it, I developed my own life, went on Ramblers' holidays, did OU courses, got into local politics - all things I probably wouldn't have done if he'd been around.

Jingle

'The wicked flee when no man pursueth, but the righteous are bold as a lion'

I was quite glad for my ex to go to badminton four nights a week, to take his boat out on Sundays and to play golf or go game fishing on Saturday - I just objected to the way virtual all his salary went on his hobbies, leaving me to support us all, and to having to listen to a stroke by stroke account of his last badminton match.
I still have nightmares that I am married to him , after 32 years. What a relief to wake up and know that I am free!

dorset Love your last sentence!

It is difficult if someone in your life plays sport and you don't. If it is just a Sunday morning for example then let them enjoy it and you find something else to occupy you. My ex was mad on sports both playing and watching. He played cricket Saturday and Sunday - cricket is an all day sport - he also went to the nets during the week to practice. During the winter he played Rugby on Saturday and Sunday morning football at Hackney Marshes. One classic weekend when there was an overlap of all three he played rugby on the Saturday,football Sunday morning and went straight from there to cricket. If there was space in the car I'd try and go along but he also gave lifts to other players. There was also the after game drinking - he'd come home and no matter what I was watching would turn on Match for Day. We couldn't go on holidays as that would mean he'd be relegated to the 2nd team, I attended weddings on my own and most other things. I learnt to do things on my own and in the end did without him .

I didn't see any reference to another thread, jingle. Guilt?

It still can stand alone as a subject for discussion. If we never posted about a word or phrase that has been used elsewhere there would be a lot fewer threads (Discussing whether or not that would be good or bad could be interesting. I don't object to anyone starting a thread about it)