When GNetters leave us

Well said gracesmum
from me too.

I agree, it is a bit of a worry!

And maybe they are still with us, or shortly to return, under a different name. There have been many instances of this that I know of, for instance when a relative has "sussed" their GN identity.

Forum: A meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.

A Forum is primarily a listening and sensibly responding place. It is not our living room or our club of friends where we can say what we like
We need to be sensitive (I Know)

When I read some of the comments made on Gransnet they appear harsh or personal or trivial sniping - and outside the definition of Forum.

People will leave because it was 'something I/we said' If by that you mean something out of order on a Forum

No Daman I think I meant that if I (or anybody else) have/ has upset anyone I would prefer to be contacted or replied to direct and explain.
I think I understand the principle of a forum , but I also know that many of us have formed friendships within the context of GransNet.This seems to be getting back to the previous "argument" about intimidation and I have no intention of raking over those coals again.
There may be many reasons for leaving, as JessM says, perhaps a change of identity has become necessary, perhaps a change in home circumstances has been the motivating factor. I do not wish to pry, but when a member has shared some of their troubles and apparently welcomed our support it is sad not to be able to continue that if wished for.

Daman Once again, it is hugely difficult to understand what on earth you are saying. Could you please try a little bit harder to make your comments clearer.

Gransnet is a social forum. People will drift in and out. It's not sad if someone loses interest and drifts off somewhere else It is a bit sad if they feel that they are no longer welcome here, but that is their choice

This is frequently discussed on Gransnet, Daman. I think that on the whole we have a good balance midway between confrontational and anodyne, but some people are extremely sensitive. It is difficult to keep up lively and deep discussions while avoiding all trace of criticism.

Actually, Daman we on Gransnet do consider the forum to be like chatting to friends at our own fireside. We treat each other as we do our friends - talking about many topics, sometimes passionately, sometimes supporting one another through troubles and trauma. We are as polite as we would be to people we are going to meet again and again (apart from an occasional spat!) and sometimes we are able to discuss things more frankly that with those nearest to us at home.

It has always been my opinion that families should not have lower standards when treating one another than they would when dealing with others - not be "a caus'y saint and a hoose de'il" That is, one who is a saint in the street and a devil to his family.

Elegran ...yet more words of wisdom.

Someone said on another thread not-to-be-reverted to, how polite and pleasant Gransnet was compared to many other forums. I agree completely with that view. Think what happened to Caesar. In the Forum.

Nice one, Lily. Sorry, Daman, but your idea of a Forum does sound terribly boring and I suspect more people would opt out of Gransnet if it was as dull as that!

And we don't tend to take ourselves seriously a lot of the time. No Mr/Mrs Pooters on here.

Elegran The way you say 'we' perhaps Forum, in the case of Gransnet, should be changed to Clique: A small group of people with shared interests, who spend time together and exclude others.
Should it be made clear to newcomers that, rather like walking into the Wednesday afternoon Old Folks Club at the Community Centre, they will be scrutnised superficially, and accepted or found wanting?

I hope not. I maybe picking the wrong threads. There are probably whole other collections of people, doing Forum things, elsewhere on Gransnet.

I remember littlenellie posting that she was starting a new job in October and it sounded as if her hours might be long. Added to her family commitments, maybe she doesn't have time for Gnet at the moment. I do hope she comes back.

She resigned, merlot - the things she was being asked to do on her first day or two were beyond belief! I do hope she doesn't feel she's failed in any way...but here Gransnet account is no more.

'her' of course - oh for an edit button!

Thanks, Ana. I didn't realise that. Poor nellie. Hopefully she'll miss us and return.

Did Susie go to the Midlands meet up? I know she thought she might. I also know that she is trying to save her local cinema so has maybe other/better things to do.

No, kittyl, I tried to pm her to see if all was well, but that was when I was told that the nickname no longer existed.

For some reason earlier today I remembered a post way back last year, where someone had said, "What if something happened to one of us - how would the rest of us ever know?" And we wouldn't know, would we? [worried emoticon]

That's been niggling at the back of my mind too.

Daman There are 49 different sections in the forum, each with perhaps 100 converation threads on different subjects, and every poster can, if they want, open a new thread on what they want to discuss. It is quite impossible for a clique to control that number of conversations. Those who think they do are mistaken.

Where did you get that idea from? I have not seen you post on many of those threads?

How do you delete your account, anyway? I can't see any 'I want to leave' options...do you have to go through GNHQ?

This is how, Ana - but hope you're not considering it........

How do I leave Gransnet?
We're sorry to hear you want to leave. If it's just that you'd like to unsubscribe from our emails, you can do that here by going to your preferences. You can also remove your Gransnet registration from the site. Go to My Gransnet and use the registration removal page. Please be aware that if you leave Gransnet, we won't be able to re-issue your username to you.