Naturists

Where does one look, if a male member decides to "perk up?"

This thread conjures up some nightmares visions!

nanpug - I am shocked! I am quite sure that none of the rest of us had thought any such thing!!

I went to a nudist island once when I was about 18 and on hols with another girl. We were offered a lift in a rowboat by a middle-aged couple and their very untrendy son. Father was short and wearing the longest khaki Scouts-style shorts you can imagine. When we got to the island and he stripped off we realised why he wore his shorts so long - I did not have my glasses on - but I did not need them!!!! Bruised knees spring to mind!

It was a lovely experience swimming in the warm sea in the nude. But there were no Adonises (?plural of Adonis) loafing around - just middle-aged ladies with their Caesarian scars and their handbags and knitting!

Following on from "The last leg" (which I love), I am going to say "Is it all right to ask, what happens if a man gets a sti**y when he sees a beautiful woman?" If I were his wife I am not sure I would be best pleased ;)

My wife and I stumbled across a naturist beach in Crete and thought "Why Not". Until that point we hadn't given the notion serious thought. However there is something wonderful about baring all on a warm sunny beach that you can't understand until you have tried it. No clothes basically means no stress, we've done it loads of times since though we have never been into the social naturist scene or made any naturist friends. As we have got older though we tend to avoid beaches though I will always remember that first magical moment. If it's the right place and time just go for it.

I have been to naturist beaches (they tend to be less crowded) and enjoyed skinny dipping and will do again given the chance, but I wouldn't dream of going to a naturist camp and inflicting my cellulite and flab on others.

when we lived in Spain we had naturist friends & had no probs getting rid of the clothes at their villa. Also went to naturist beaches - the swimming is wonderful unencumbered with soggy cossies.But shopping!!!! holding a metal basket against ones bits - and as for cooking.....but as you say, no packing problems, just a few sarongs. Amazingly few goodlooking bodies I have to say, but that has to be good, lots of scars worn proudly. Good luck to them I say!

My OH was 5 when his dad took him to a public WC whilst out in town. He saw a notice on the wall and asked 'daddy, what is a venerable disease' - a few wet shoes around!

A little boy saw his Dad emerge from the shower and said: 'Daddy, what are those for?'

'FOUR!'

More seriously, I have only swam naked once (with the family when it was hot and we didn't have costumes with us). It was great but it was never repeated and won't be now. Naturaism isn't for me [too shy] but good luck to those who do.

You just couldn't do it with young children, they might say all sorts of things. DH took DS1 to the squash club when he was young and when they came out the shower he said "Daddy, why has that man got such a small penis?" I have no idea what answer he got but DH does embarrass easily!

Elegran!

Depends how fast you can run whether we can catch you.

No way would you catch me in the altogeher.

ayse - the first time you went how long did it take you to relax? And please reassure me that all the women are not lithe young things. I am not lithe. Or young

kitty that reminds me of a trip to Formantera from Ibiza with some friends about 25 years ago. We hired a minimoke and piled into it (4 adults and 5 little girls), screamed onto a 'suitable' beach only to see the 2 Dads killing themselves - full of germans totally starkers. We plonked ourselves down under an umbrella; the next-door couple were anointing themselves liberally with oil and she was taking great care to massage the oil into his important bits until he looked up and saw 5 little pairs of incredulous eyes staring......... The girls still laugh about it to this day ' Do you remember when....?'

On holiday in the south of France when the children were quite young, we had a few days of awful weather and decided to just get in the car and drive.

Off we went, swathed in lots of jumpers and kagoules, trying to find something to do. Eventually the sun came out, we all cheered and went to buy a picnic to take to a beach we had passed.

Sitting on the beach, eating lunch, I remarked on the really white swimming trunks worn by the man wind surfing - then he turned round

At about the same time, our younger son (aged about 7) was heard to say, very loudly, 'Cor Dad, look at that lady's bosoms!'

When we came to look round, naked bodies were everywhere and we were wearing nearly every stitch of clothing we had with us!

Oh dear - I like to be naked but mainly at home, in bed! I do like to swim in the nude, but only in the dark when no-one can see. Being seen naked by strangers is the stuff of nightmares to me.

I once was seen though.

When I was an au pair in Austria the family I lived with had a country cottage in Mauerbach in the Vienna Woods. We stayed there during the summer, and one day I was home alone when the men came to empty the septic tank. I was having a shower, but the disturbance around the septic must have upset the arachnid population , 'cos a great big hairy spider came up the shower drain and tickled my toe. I screamed blue murder and fled the bathroom, running starkers by the long window at the side of the house, just as the men were leaving at the other side.

They must have thought all their Christmases had come at once; I dived into my bedroom and under the covers where I remained for at least an hour. I never told the family 'cos they were a bit staid, but they were quite flummoxed when the septic tank men started coming weekly instead of monthly.....

I haven't had such a laugh for a long long time. The tears are rolling down my cheeks as I type. Thank you all for sharing your stories

There is a 'nudist beach' near us across the bay, it's a bit disconcerting when one accidently strolls into it as its between 2 regular beaches. As for me going starkers, not even in my hay day will I expose my bits to everyone and I don't care to see theirs either.Someone else said men look funny naked and they do . Women watching male strippers scream with laughter, I think we prefer to see their bodies with at least a cossie on. When we see film or pictures of nudists why are there never any good looking people posing? Usually the old or rather plump and why would you play ping pong or table tennis - everything jiggling about would make me scream with laughter.

biker Did you see the one after that one, where the proprietor looked at the filthy loo and the shower festooned with pubic hairs and said "but the water is clean...." I thought the juxtaposition of that and Mr Prissy the naturist with his stark minimalist decor was brilliant.

There was another antique joke about two respectable men (pillars of the community) sunbathing in a nudist colony when a double decker bus full of curious passengers goes past the high wall. First man grabs his towel and wraps it around his bits. Second man grabs his towel and throws it over his head, saying "I don't know about you, but most people recognise me by my face"

Elegran I watched that perticular one I thought she looked quite uncomfortable when she ws in the hot tub and he got in as well!!
also where do you but your bits n bobs?/ purse/mobile etc?

All those goosepimples!

There is a naturist resort within a few miles of where I live (and those of you living anywhere near Newcastle will know where it is, I guess). I have never ever seen any cars driving in - it's surrounded by a high wooden fence and, to be honest, if you didn't know it was there you would just assume it was someone's house. But the thought of stripping off in the climate that we have up here for a lot of the year makes me think they must be hardy folk!

ana [grin