Living alone - live webchat with Virginia Ironside, Thursday 12 July, 1-2pm

There is no one else to snatch the remote control. Ive been alone for nearly years - cant believe it is so long but I'm almost never lonely, but delighted to be with others at times. Although fairly gregarious, I'm surprised I don't need others and of course pleased that I don't because I've lost a lot of friends who have died young. I don't think it makes me selfish, although I realise I don't have to consider anybody in the same house - but children and grandchildren are there to be considered and that is nice too!

I was married for 42 years and we were together for 3 years before that. It is difficult to make a life after so many years as a couple but as Merlot said there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I have friends that I see regularly and although I have no immediate family of my own, my husbands family are very supportive and we see each other regularly. I find the hardest time is on Sundays. That was the day we used to spend together, no matter what else was happening - that was our day.

I live in the country and as most groups meet during the evening it means coming back home in the dark - I can't say I enjoy that very much. I just wish there were more groups that met during the day.

Start a Sunday afternoon group?

I've always thought that Saturday is the day that centres on the family and/or the man of the house. Women tend to go with the flow in terms of hobbies, activities and getting the shopping done. Sunday, however, centres around the woman. Whether cooking for just two or a family or going out with OH, it's the day I would find hardest to cope with if I found myself alone. I understand how Barrow feels.

I'm ok on my own most of the time - but I hate bank holidays. I'd love a coping strategy.

I live alone. Very happily so. My problem is trying to get my (lovely) children to understand I'm not just saying that. Any ideas? Thanks

Hope it's ok to go slightly off topic - but I would love to know more about what it's like to be an agony aunt. Did you have to get special qualifications? Do people's problems ever stay with you? And have you ever given an answer you wish you hadn't?

About being an agony aunt: what do you think about sites like Gransnet, where we help each other through our problems, with lots of different voices and experiences giving a wide variety of approaches to a problem.

Do you think there are merits to agony aunt approach over this or vice versa at all?

One of the hardest things for me when my husband died, as well as the pain of loss, was being challenged by some practical things, that I had left to him, and managing the finances so Mamie I would suggest that you share skills as much as possible now, so there are not areas where you might in the future be particularly vulnerablex

mamie I would agree with diver birch.

I live alone now and I have got fairly used to my own company and most of the time I don't feel lonely.I appreciate time to myself. I am often grateful for the quiet as I have chronic fatigue and sometimes need to rest. I like to paint and garden and listen to music and see my family and friends and go for walks, and this all nourishes me. It does become more difficult though when I dont have a choice and simply have to be very quiet,then I can start to feel isolated because I can then find people tiring. So I think its probably easier to cope with living alone if one is fit and healthy, and can create a fuller life outside as well as inside the homex

Do you think there is a secret to living alone happily/successfully? Especially if you're new to it? People often say it's fine when you're out with friends, but what's hard is having someone to do nothing with.

Any tips on getting through those times when you just feel really low and wish there was someone else around? Presumably you feel like that sometimes, even if you like living alone on the whole?

Hello Virginia

I will not be around for the live webchat so I would like to pose a question now.

I feel that loneliness is not only a problem for some people who live alone but many of us in a relationship can sometimes feel very lonely too. It can happpen for many reasons both physical or mental health problems. I sometimes feel more lonely when my partner is there than when I am alone. It feels like being shut out and can sometimes last for several days. Apart from leaving the relationship have you any tips on how to cope with the lonely times.

I hope I'm not too late to join in? Ten years on I am still struggling with my divorce. It's not so much the practicalities of living alone as the fact my ex has remarried and I can't help feel bitter that he has someone to share the emotional stuff (a few things going on with our kids) with while I don't. Friends just aren't the same. Any ideas?

I see that your show (or perhaps it was your book?) is about the twenty best things about getting older. What would you say are the top three?

I believe you had a facelift a few years ago. What made you decide to do that? As someone who now celebrates getting older, do you still feel it was a good idea?

My main worry about living on my own is what happens in an emergency. Can you suggest some steps to put in place in case? I have friends who live in sheltered accommodation and they have alarms to press - but in my own home I can't see any alternative bar making it to the phone. And if I was seriously ill or hurt that wouldn't necessarily be possible or practical

If you are lonely, how do you get over it? What would you recommend to someone (like me) who is shy and finds it difficult to make the first move?

A couple of years ago you said you would kill a sick child. Some people took this to mean you were in favour of euthanasia for disability. Is this what you meant? And if not, how do you judge the nature of someone else's suffering?