The great dog/cat controversy

My lawyer says I must say 'no comment' to everything that is asked of me, as new information is breaking and I might have got away with it be found innocent. And anyway, it wasn't me!

have your particulars been taken down whenim

pardon the pun....Rover may have blown his own cover

Just going to check on Larry back in a mo

OK I want to make a statement. I have my lawyer here - Mr Scam from Leggit and Run solicitors.

Have you got the tape ready?

Anagram dont really have moustaches am getting into character....
whenim I am laughing so much tears are rolling down my legs....but enough whenim needs to be accompanied to make sure she isnt offloading the aforementioned blow torch to her accomplice Larry the Lamb,may need fornsics to examine rovers bum to see if any evidence remains.....by the way an interesting piece of evidence has come my way who turned the lamb into a red hot vindaloo and fed it to rover the blow torch may have a been a red herring

Alright jeni there's no need to manhandle me! I was just on my way back - no I wasn't going over the wall, I was just checking that...er...my car was still there. Some people!

Shaking with laughter and I've only got to 1854 will have to go back and read the rest when the tears have got out of the way. by the way we had venomous no no! denim no no! venison, that's it venison steaks tonight and re-fried carrot, well they weren't re-fried because they were boiled before but you know what I mean, and refried (but not really again broccoli and onions of course because they go with everything.

RIGHT! Back to the thread where I lef toff....

Oh dear, I crying with laughter, I haven't done that for years!

Is she coming back?

Even if she does.

You can't proceed just on a confession!

just going for a wee - my eyes are leaking, too! Ha Ha!!

I submit that we have insufficient evidence to prosecute.

Ha! That chilli chocolate contained a Truth Drug, when! You'll soon be singing like a canary! (Thanks, Faye for the imported truth serum....)

nellie! You can get laser treatment for that now - no need to twiddle in silence!

I don't deny the blowtorch is mine, but if you check my record you will see that I have a history of mislaying my belongings at parties. I STILL don't have my handcuffs back and now my blowtorch has gone AWOL. Find my stuff and you will find the culprit. [well, I do feel smug now emoticon]

Larry is looking very guilty..he isnt wooden he is scared stiff..that he will be found out his alibi is a trifle woolly...nellie hasnt got the blowtorch nellie wasnt there ......so whenim you arent denying that the offensive weapon was yours....with your fingerprints....in your possesion for most of the time,,hmmm [am stroking chin] very suspicious [am twiddling moustaches]

Hi Faye fancy a chocolate? Here, have two.....

Where's Faye? She was apparently hovering above the proceedings dressed as a fairy - she'll have see it all! (Hope she hasn't been nobbled...)

...mmm these chocs are fabulous. Oooh - chilli chocolate - not tried that one before.......

when, you're just trying to deflect attention from your blowtorch!

Oho. Who got bribed?

.....the sound of footsteps retreating rapidly. No-one knows nuthin'