How do gransetters define being "posh"?

Invaluable advice being given here so I can try a bit of social climbing!

I believe it is also called "kitchen supps" in some quarters.
Lots of things besides fish knives and forks though (btw I once ordered some new ones and the shop rang and said "your fashitas have come". "Uh? Oh - fish eaters").
What about those little whatsits to stick in each end of your corn-on-the-cob, doilies (common or not?), serviette rings (doubly common, napkins dear not serviettes and a ring, even in solid silver, implied you would re-use them), mats or tablecloths, crusts off the bread or not, black gloves and brown shoes - I could write a book, if Nancy Mitford hadn't got there first.

I was once in a posh restaurant. The sort where they bring your food under a shiny dome. For once the pudding/dessert/sweet was too rich for me. I was nattering away. The waiting staff were hovering. And hovering. It was because I had not properly aligned my cutlery to indicate that I had really finished and was not merely pausing.
I wonder if "suppah" is a public school thing - as we are now ruled by youngish old-etonians?

Hmm. Is that the difference then? Poshness is perhaps more about etiquette than real politeness.

I learned that too, but I don't think table manners are about which order one uses the cutlery. Etiquette is not the same as politeness. I'm not sure I'd notice if people used cutlery in the wrong order and if I did I wouldn't care, but I would care if they started eating before everyone was seated or if they were so self-engrossed not to pass things to other people.

We learned at grammar school that you start with the knives and forks furthest away from your plate and work inwards.
Table manners are still important and I drill my GCs. I once had lunch in some sort of grand Hall and there was a professor just shovelling food in his mouth with his head over the plate. I was shocked!
I don't allow my GCs to behave like that and my daughters are more than pleased to say. 'Do as Grandma says and place your knife and fork together when you've finished eating' or what ever else I have suggested.
This would probably not work with a DIL.
In Yorkshire we have tea at 6 p.m and down South that is supper. A warm meal at lunchtime can be called dinner but I believe a posh dinner would be later at 8 p.m.

Sunday dinner at midday is too early for me...same with Christmas dinner (or lunch). Both are usually around 3 o'clock in this house - although I don't think that's got anything to do with poshness or the lack thereof!

Does anyone remember the Queen Mum being rushed to hospital with a fishbone stuck in her throat?....... I wonder which type of cutlery was used.

Jess, "supper" seems to be everywhere now, not just in Downing Street.
I have an old dear in my village who always asks people for suppaahh.

Thereby implying to come for a light meal. Whether she realises that, I don't know.

One's main meal of the day is always called dinner!!
At what ever time of the day!

Love inviting people for Sunday Dinner.................
At midday, ..ofcourse.

wotsamaashedupjingl* Yes he still thinks I have some money hidden some where the fool

Annobel I ate in one of those Henley Regatta marquees once. The Leander one.

It was horrible. Hated every moment!

Too posh!!!

Are you still married to him Annika?!!!

Anagram, I think all chavs are 'common'; not sure you have to be a chav to be common though!

Did you notice today that one has "supper" in Downing Street. Dinner are things they have out. As in: I am going to the IOD Dinner.

Somehow, chavvy doesn't have the same meaning to me as common, but I'm struggling to think of an alternative. Perhaps there isn't one!

Eton schoolboys like to say oik!

Who says the class war is a thing of the past?

Chav seems to be the derogatory term of choice among the younger members of my family. There's an informative article on Wiki.

My DH told everyone he only married me because my family had BBC2 ( a new channel then !) and his family only had BBC1 and ITV so he thought we were posh and that he would be marrying into money
He soon found out that was not the case

I have my parents fish knives and forks but have put them in the attic because the bone handles will not survive the dishwasher. I have steak knives and forks too and they are always used. My mother considered it common to eat in the street and chewing gum was strictly forbidden, I never tasted it until I was an adult. I think pleb or chav is probably the modern common.

And they should be silver or silver plated, as that does not take on the 'taint' of the fish!
I actually have a complete set of all cutlery for 12 people! Including coffee spoons and fish eaters!
Does this make me posh?
NO WAY!
I have friends who are gardners, judges, doctors, cleaners, care assistants!
Nobody has ever accused ME of being posh!
Being posh is thinking YOU are superIor to others! If you think you are superior, you're not!
Sorry if I've ranted, but I do feel very strongly, that folk should not be stereotyped by occupation or habits!

Yes, the ankle bracelet, along with tattoos, meant the woman in question was no lady (or was one 'of the night'!) according to Granny....

I was told it was common to wear an ankle bracelet

And lavatory/toilet ...I was told that lavatory was the traditional English name (of course the National Trust still use the term), whereas toilet was a corrupted French word that people used to show they were better

Iam not posh but do have standards,manners being one of them,I feel my nose pointing skywards at 'chavvie' behaviour,chavvie being defined as wearing tracksuits/hoodies lots of chunky gold jewellery,fake tan typically 'essex',I have an Essex upbringing myself,and not particlarly well educated,but I suppose as my nickname Is Hyacinth Bouquet could Posh be to do with attitude and not class as I do not wish to be associated with 'chavvie' behaviour,I do not use serviettes or napkins,but I dont dribble or put my elbows on the table or talk with my mouth full either....do you I could be an oxymoron....

To eat fish with Anagram! I have a lovely bone handled set that was a wedding gift to my parents. However I don't remember it ever being used (my mother died when I was 5 so that could be the reason). I chose bone handled cutlery when I married so it would all match, but still never used the fish set! I still treasure it tho'

Oh, thank you Carol - my last post crossed with yours! Yes, I know what they look like (we had them when I was a child, but never used them). Sounds as though an ordinary knife would do the job just as well.