Anybody else up yet?

Morning, had a good nights sleep and woke about 6.45 so no complaints there. DH goes into hospital to have his wisdom tooth and a cyst removed from his jawbone later today. Because the hospital is a couple of hours away he goes in today for his pre op and they will operate tomorrow. Normally I think its just an in patient job but because he has stents fitted they are planning to keep him in overnight to keep an eye on him.

Off to pack his overnight bag...

Best wishes to your husband, Libradi.
Slipping over the edge of the black pit - how well that describes my feelings when I think about my daughter and her mental health problems. If I don't back away from the edge I will plunge into depression. Her sister and you lovely ladies keep dragging me away.

Greatnan, your break with you Swiss friend will do you the world of good. I think you've been feeling very much the way I do when I come back from NZ, where I've had someone (sister who is also my greatest friend) to talk to or do things with. In other words, companionship with someone on the same wavelength. I was very deflated, even depressed, when I came home two years ago and couldn't lift myself out of it, even though my nearest and dearest are in this country. I'm sure your friend will help to bridge that gap that you're probably in at the moment. All that exercise will surely get the endorphins going - and find you some muscles you never knew you had. Have a great time.

Cross country skiing is fabulous fun, greatnan. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

Thank you, Annobel. I think you have summed up my feelings exactly - I spend so much time alone, which I used to enjoy, but it means there is nobody to distract me. Swissie, as she is known on forums, is a retired teacher married to a retired (English) GP. We never stop talking - her husband retires to his study and practises the accordion!

Oxon70, you'll 'get there' somehow this week - just try not to wear yourself out in the process! Your sister will maybe be able to balance things a bit, by being there with you and helping where she can. It doesn't take much for me to start thinking of things that might have gone wrong (slippery slope into the black pit). I try to give myself a shake and tell myself that by always needing to be in some sort of contact with my son - at least every other day -I'm actually 'disabling' him. He's had awful personal problems over the last years, which he has dealt with and probably still is, but in my head, I keep going over what would happen if the problems came back. He has a right to his privacy and I strive to ensure that I don't overstep the line. Simply not being able to contact him has my stomach churning. Then a text coming in will make me ok again until the next time. I know this fretting does me no good, but it's a hard habit to break. Impossible, actually. Greatnan, now that you're home again, try to get things into perspective if you can? The chat you had with your other daughter was obviously a really supportive one which perhaps helped you a lot? It's so very hard to accept that the choices our adult children make can hurt us so much, when the choices we made as they grew up were always in their interests. It's so good to talk things out with our friends here on GN.

greenmossgiel - my daughter has not actually made a conscious choice to regard me as her enemy -she is suffering from paranoid delusions and there is nobody who will challenge them. Believing that your family are conspiring to do you harm is a typical manifestation of this condition. I can only hope that she will recover in time. Her sister has written her off as she has tried to help her for years, but that is not an option for a mother, is it? If she were in her right mind when she made such terrible accusations, I might find it possible to feel angry, instead of just very sad and anxious.

Nearly came on here this morning at 6.30 when returned from local hospital A&E where "blues and twos" had taken him at 2.30. yet another episode of high fever and "rigors" - quite scary to witness as he goes into septic shock and needs immediate treatment.
Still in A&E when I popped over about 1 - this time in Ressusc as he collapsed going to the loo in the morning - but feeling quite a bit better now IV antibiotics started. Here we go again....................
Resisted the computer and fell into bed instead as I had only had 2 hours sleep - need to learn to pace myself.

Oh I am sorry to hear that gracesmum. Immune suppressed? Hope he gets out of A and E soon.

What a night and day for you, gracesmum. You must have been so anxious about him. And do look after yourself - hope you get a decent night's sleep tonight.

My love to boyh of you!

gracesmum there's always someone here early in the morning!

Hope things are improving? What a time you've both had. Xxxx

gracesmum I hope things are already improving for you - you must be exhausted, so let's hope tonight you sleep really well x

Oh dear, gracesmum I hope things are better tonight.
And greatnan that your daughter will get better; you are giving me thoughts about my other daughter who I never hear from, she avoids me and refuses to talk about anything wrong, and I therefore don't know what she thinks, and I wonder if she has thoughts like this too.

Jess you always say something to cling to, you are quite right about having to hold back....but this move is an emergency! My sister has helped being here today.
I've been in contact with my daughter J (as we all call her) and she doesn't have to actually move house until the 13th/14th February, which is a bit more relaxing...but I spent an hour with her making up a list, by rooms, for the removers, like the third lot wanted, to give a quote online - and when I had finished I pressed 'send' and the whole lot disappeared!!!!! ...........With incomprehensible explanation about security...... Will try again in the morning.

Thanks, greenmoss too.

Best wishes gracesmum you need to take care of yourself too

Thinking of you tonight Gracesmum and hoping tomorrow brings improvement.
Look after yourself.

Awake again....yesterday I went back to bed after I was here and slept from 7 - 10am. I was very tired all day, and my sister and I agreed that there had been an awful lot of the day before! Rather like two days at once. For her too.
So I slept at 9 last night and woke at 3 - not great. I've just given in and put the heating on.
Enough moaning. Today I will get my hair washed and put books back on their shelves (off since I did some painting in that room) and free the boxes to take to Oxford, maybe tomorrow.

Good morning.
But still six hours from 9 to 3. Another nap called for later maybe.
I do rather like waking up about 6, especially if i can do a bit of work. My brain is often as its clearest at this time of day.
That sounds like a frustrating computer moment!
When i was married the first time we moved house 12 times in 13 years.
The worst was the one where I moved out of a house with 7 yr old and 10 month old in attendance. H had already started new job in London. No car and no help. (a neighbour helped me get things out of loft was all).
The thing I learned was that it was just a lot of tasks and that they would eventually all be completed. In a months time she will be in her new house and most of her stuff will be unpacked.
2 other things
If you are packing yourself label the boxes
And before the removal men leave, calmly walk round the house and check all cupboards etc. On that occasion I discovered all my mugs had been left behind. So i stupidly put them all in a bag and lugged them on the train - along with the baby etc.

Good morning, Oxon. (though you're probably washing your hair now") try just to potter today - you sound exhausted. xx

gracesmum - thinking of you. Xx

Good morning, Oxon. I wonder if your other daughter has ever shown symptoms like finding it hard to make friends, or trust people? Has she ever taken drugs? Some people are born with a personality disorder but others have their brain altered by drugs. It is very hard to know how to deal with rejection when you have no idea what you are supposed to have done. Is there no other person who could approach your daughter?
I hope you will find peace of mind soon. xxxx

Hi Jess and Ariadne. Thanks for sympathy!
Yes I may sleep later - but I might do better tonight if I don't! I'll see how it goes.
A good point about labels, and i have just put some in the bag with the sticky tape (for boxes) and the black bin bags. I will pass on the comments, Jess.
I have recommended that she write lists of whatever to do or take, as I find it keeps things under control (or feels as if it does!).

Particularly poignant about leaving things behind. Last move I lost all my recipe books, and the biggest loss of those was one that belonged to my grandmother.

Haven't got to the hair yet! The house needs to warm up a bit more....

Hello Greatnan.
Your post appeared while I was writing the last.
I do think my other daughter, S, finds it hard to make friends, although there are some that she seems to trust and keep. She tends to hold grudges for ever.
I am not one of the people she trusts.
We were separated at her birth as she had a breathing problem, and I was not able to hold her for several weeks, she came home at 6 weeks. I feel I have far less bonding with her than with J.
She actually stayed in my house 3 years ago for 6 months, and I thought we might get on better, but halfway though things went sour and she finally left without saying goodbye.
But I think it was worth trying, and i now don't have the yearning feeling that I had before. I can say to myself that I know I tried to make peace.
But she won't talk.

I was up at 4am this morning and flew to a very hot and muggy Brisbane. I am here for my grandson's fourth birthday on the ninth and he is having a joint birthday party the weekend after next with his brother who turns six on the 25th March. So many birthdays so close together. My granddaughters also had a joint birthday party last weekend in Adelaide and it was extremely hot. My son and DIL are also moving this weekend, I hadn't planned to be here to help them move and had helped with their two previous moves. I had booked the flight last November and they hadn't bought the house then.

I am feeling slightly tired to say the least.

Hope you get the rest you need Faye and thn you can have a great time with your grandchildren x