Children going to funeral

She is a special girl, she’s written a lovely letter for me to put in my dads coffin cx

He is part of her and I think it’s truly lovely that she wants to go - she must be a special young girl. Condolences to you

Condolences. I don't believe she should attend.

Definitely let her go, my grandkids were 4 and 6 when their Daddy died my daughter took a lot of professional advice and they all said it’s far better for a child to go as it gives them some closure and they know he is really gone for ever They both had a cry in the service itself mainly because others were crying around them it was an open coffin as is the way in Ireland and they gave their Daddy a kiss goodbye ( they asked to) then we went to the burial site it was a lovely day and I ll never forget my little granddaughter (4) skipping along in the sunshine they carried his running shoes and club shirt They were included and were doing the last thing they could for their Daddy
Please tell your mum my story if you think it may help

Thanku

Thanku for all your messages. I totally agree with u all . I’m just worried about explaining that to my mum ,

colournanny I would let her go to the funeral, 11 is not too young. My older DC went to my father's funeral when they were 9 and 11.

Yes. I think 'they' recommend it for children. Death is part of life, although not the best part, admittedly. 11 isn't too young.

It’s a yes from me. My 4 grandchildren were 18 months - 7 years old when their 16 year old cousin died. They were all very close to her so we took them all to the funeral - why not? Death is a part of life and you can’t shield them from it forever.

I’d say if she’s asked to go, she should be allowed, and maybe even be given a small part to play, like giving out orders of service etc.
On my father’s ( Irish) side of the family, grandchildren were very much involved in the funeral, as the deceased was laid out in the sitting room, and the children put drawings, flowers, and other mementoes into the coffin.

Let her go. All modern research into grieving in children, emphasises the importance of children not being excluded from funerals. Mine went to their grandfather's funeral at the ages of 8 and 10 without any problem.

Your mother is, naturally, reflecting the (now considered erroneous) views of many of her generation.

Sorry for your loss
I would allow her to go if she wants to

If the young girl feels she would like to attend the funeral she should be allowed to do so.

I was nine years old when my father died but was not allowed to go to his funeral. It still bothers me today that I was shielded from saying my last goodbye to him.

Condolences on the loss of your father, colournanny

I think she should go. My elder children's grandad died when they were all under 10 and they went to his funeral. It is good for them to have the chance to say goodbye.