My son and DIL decided tomove abroad from London in May this year, whilst expecting my first Grandchild. It was a bit of a shock for me as my son is my only child and I don't have much family and I was really looking forward to the birth of the baby and being a hands on doting grandma. I'm not ashamed to say the sudden news really affected me but I just got on with things and wished them well. I don't really get on with my DIL as she's hard to read and quite direct and a bit demandin. She never mentioned the move to me once, until I brought it up.
My son came up to visit me before leaving and I gave him beautiful outfits for the baby and a Peter Rabbit for the baby to cuddle in his cot. I wrapped them in lovely gift paper and popped in a congratulations card for July when the baby would be born. I had showed them all to my son and he was appreciative. I'm the type of person who gets happiness out of giving and am a people pleaserm
However, a month went by and there was no acknowledgement of the gifts from my DIL. It just would have been nice to share her reaction to them really. I asked my son had she opened them and he said she had and liked them. I couldn't help say to him that a thank you would have been nice. He just said they'd been busy. A month after the birth I spoke to my DIL and she told me the outfits are in a suitcase they haven't unpacked ,so haven't opened them yet.
Baby is 2 months now and to date I've not seen pics of him in any of the lovely outfits I bought and he's actually seen wearing the same clothes frequently. I therefore texted my DIL asking her would she like me to send a couple of all- in ones similar to what he's been wearing, over with my sister in law who will be visiting her son over there next week. The response was that it's very hot weather at the moment - 42 degrees and the baby isn't going out in the heat to wear outfits. She then asked if I could send some sensory toys over with her instead. The next thing, I received a message enclosing a pic of a fancy £100 baby gym asking if I'd like to buy it as a gift instead of sending any toys over .
I feel I've already spent £100 on the gifts that she didn't acknowledge and I didn't see any of the outfits being worn. There's a big difference from me offering clothing/ toy to being asked to buy a £100 baby gym.. I'm in dilemma what to do as she's messaged me again today saying 'no pressure but would I be buying it'. I know Grandparents spoil their grandchildren but you would normally get pleasure from it and I don't feel that this time. They don't want visitors until the time is right for them, which I have respected, so it's probably going to be another 2 months until I see my grandson.
Advice appreciated.
