Car Travel Anxiety

Yes I know I can’t be responsible for other drivers. … I never used to be like this … it’s an age thing! Thank you all for your advice and wisdom!

I am a nervous passenger too, my husband drives fairly safely, keeps to the rules. but wrongly assumes others will do the same. I am constantly watching fir anyone about to pull out in front if us ( without signalling) and feel like a meerkat, on guard, watching and waiting.
It doesn’t help we were knocked across the top of a a very large bridge by a very large foreign lorry a while ago.
Have also stopped driving very far myself and nos avoid dark wet foggy winter nights.

Glenfinnan

Thank you all for your comments! Hood Good to know I’m not the only one x

You’re definitely not the only one. I haven’t joined a particular U3a group because it would mean lift sharing to various places and I can’t stand going in a car when I don’t know how the person drives.

Foxtail, motorways are the safest roads to drive on. Most fatal and other accidents occur on ordinary roads, usually quite close to home.

The lorry driver who knocked my sister off her bike as she cycled to work, resulting in her death, was going at walking speed. At a T junction he was turning into a tree -lined road with cars parked bumper to bumper, the trees and cars completely masked the cyclist until too late.

Thank you for all these latest comments … I’ve got a worry stone now … hope it helps but as I’ve said knowing there are others like me helps too!

This is something that has been getting a bigger issue for me, mainly with my husband but also my son. My husband has never been involved in a traffic accident and I believe him to be a safe driver. For me though I am getting worse, drawing breaths, pressing the imaginary brake pedal even saying slow down or omg regularly, much to his annoyance. I think the main reason is the speed that everyone is travelling at, motorway 70mph and upwards, sometime 4 lanes going in same direction and it is terrifying and I trust my hisband but I dont trust the other drivers, I would rather stay off the motorways and take a longer route if neccessary. I don't drive on motorways myself if I can help it. However this post highlights it is an issue for lots of us, maybe age related too?

I think once you've been a driver it can be difficult to be a passenger. The viewpoint is different for a start and you're not in control of the pedals. I often feel myself putting on an imaginary brake when I'm out with my OH. Saying that, when we're in the supermarket, he sometimes tells me how to push the trolley! I have to remind him that before I met him, I used to manage shopping on my own perfectly well!

Stay in the right lane and indicate right for the last exit on a roundabout. Is correct.
Indicate left for the first exit.

I’ve felt anxious being a passenger with certain people, particularly my OH, especially on motorways, and it drives him to distraction (excuse the pun). It is called Amaxophobia, apparently. I overcome it by sitting in the back seat and it is better if I have someone next to me to talk to. When sitting in the passenger seat I tend to gasp at his reactions, or tell him to indicate left when he’s taking the last exit off a roundabout, instead of keeping the right indicator on 🙄. Lots of drivers do this.

I was going to say sit in the back.
I am the same, not because my husband is a terrible driver, but because of other people’s driving.
I have seen two cars t-boned on a junction. Now I am weary of people pulling out of junctions when I am in the passenger seat- I reach for the invisible brake 😂
Tbh, I feel much safer on our motorbike, or if I am driving than as a passenger in our car.

Before his stroke Dh did all the driving. I was on edge all the time, so I used to sit in the back with little pooch. I found that better.

Since neither of us have been driving, lots of friends and family give us or mainly me, lifts. I’m fine with two sons, 2 DIL, but friends of similar age to us , range from bad to terrible..

I can’t believe how awful they are, men and women. And I’m The one who has had my licence taken away (glaucoma). I’m much better than all of them.

I’m happy with my lovely cab driver and can sit and relax.

Try sitting at the back?
I think that's easiest.

I tend to be a nervous passenger. Thus, I purposely look away from the road if I'm feeling anxious. I'll look at my hands or out the side window. I found the above comment about a thyroid issue to be especially interesting. And grannyjan2's idea to hold a worry stone is grand!

I’ve become a nervous passenger only recently. The only thing I can put it down to a friend had a slight stroke whilst driving and had a bad accident, same age as us I think it’s preying on my mind, I keep asking my DH if he’s ok, much to his annoyance.
I’d feel safer if my AC were driving.

When we lived in Tassie the roads were so windy I used to get carsick. Not when I was the driver, though. So I did the driving! Scary bends and big trees that looked as though they could fall - a bit like some of the places near where we live now. Maybe you should opt to be the driver ? I have a friend who loves driving ( I just regard it as a necessity, never liked it ) but she is a godawful driver who takes risks and doesn’t even know it. So I make an excuse when she offers to drive !

Thank you all for your comments! Hood Good to know I’m not the only one x

maybe an audiobook as way of distraction

Pretty scarey when dh used to drive and it wasn’t just me who noticed. And if you dared say anything you were going to cause an accident. Now I do all the driving and it’s a relief.

I am a terrible passenger, especially with my husband in the driver's seat .. so bad I was physically flinching, and foot trying to brake.
I have acquired a "worry stone" .. something to fiddle with, which people find calming, and I have to say it mostly works.

I was a poor passenger when my husband drove. He was a good driver but braked too late, to my way of thinking.
Martin Lewis once said that every time you use the accelerator or the brake uses more fuel, so it pays to drive more steadily. Tell that the the majority of drivers on the roads.

I can't help because I'm a nervous wreck as a passenger with husband. I don't trust his reflexes now that he's in his 70s!! I'm fine with my son or daughter or friends.

For a non driver like me you will bite someone’s hand off for a lift
Do you all have the same anxiety if you are in a bus, train or taxi ?

I spent a weekend travelling with a friend who did the driving. I was so anxious I couldn't enjoy myself. Even crossing the road on foot worried me, as I thought she was taking unnecessary risks.
It turned out that I was suffering from an overactive thyroid which heightened the anxiety. After medication I improved although I am still inwardly critical of others' driving.

phonics??? Should be phobics of course!

If it’s any consolation I think many of us prefer being the driver to the passenger.

When my car was off the road, kind friends picked me up to go for coffee, but I was shocked at the standard of driving and even basic lack of the Highway Code shown by a couple of them - I wouldn’t have liked a long drive with them. I was grateful of course, but even more so, to get my car back . I’m fine being a passenger with my BF and both DDs.

Do you actually have to go with other people (other than DH) so maybe turn down the invitations? However, in your position I wouldn’t let it take over - maybe a mild medication could help, like those given out to nervous fliers or dentist phonics. Easy to say, but don’t let it get the better of you.