Please help! (grandchild being locked in bedroom)

NotSpaghetti

Does she actually mean locked?
I would be worried too.
Do the rooms actually have locks or is the door just closed?
You can't usually lock bathroom doors from the outside.

I'd believe her but also check the actual situation re locks and also speak to your son.

Agreed. A 4 year old's understanding of "locked" might just mean closed

Wish I had words of wisdom for you but all I know is this, that’s terrifying to me.

I remember being concerned to find a lock outside one of the bedroom door of a house we once bought. Needless to say we removed it at once. The people we bought the house from seemed so nice too.

Extremely dangerous and uncaring. Who knows what the children may do in their bedroom or indeed have in there? My parents would give me a good telling off, explain why what I did was wrong, and then expect me not to do it again. Your son and wife discipline is very old fashioned and verging on cruel.

Scary, especially being so young. What if one was ill or fell out of bed and hit their head or something?

My very good friend used to lock her children in their bedrooms if they’d been naughty.
It used to make my blood freeze. I never said anything to her and we’re still friends today after 50 years. But the memory remains.

Once the facts are established, good advice may be offered.

Isn't it dreadful that one has to go on tiptoe about raising a reasonable concern? The child may well be exaggerating but the parents could use an innocent query as an excuse to estrange themselves if things are not as they should be. The situation does need some investigation but checking out locks and door closures subtly first seems the safest solution.

When I was a child it was common for naughty children to be sent to their rooms but not 4 year olds and they were not locked in. I think this is probably illegal.

I would be worried too but you need to know the facts behind this. Does the child mean that the doors are being closed completely when they’re normally left slightly ajar or are there actually locks on the doors? Surely you need to see for yourself but be aware, challenging the parents might stir up more stormy waters.

My DD used to leave her kids fast asleep in the car on their own. It used to stress me out. My son does the same but I insist he stays in the car.
My nephew used to lock his kids in the car at night to punish them.
These are just the things I know about...!

Three children aged 2, 3 amd 4 must be a challenge. Do they live nearby? Can you help out at all and do you want to?

Apart from the 'disturbing' aspect of this, as previous contributors have pointed out, a fire would surely result in a tragedy?

I, too, find this disturbing. I remember some friends of ours (about 50years ago) used to lock their two boys’ bedroom at night. It horrified me.

I bought a house where all of the children's bedrooms had locks on the outside. I found it rather disturbing.

Would definitely try to clear this up with your son, if the four year old is at nursery or school and says this to staff it will raise red flags. Could be an over active imagination but cannot be ignored.

Locking a child in a room surely is illegal what about a fire breaking out
I d make really sure your facts are right perhaps the mum holds the door until they settle to make it seem like it’s locked
I m trying to be kind here because if it really happens it’s a dreadful worry
I d talk to your son but NOT accusing in any way just general chit chat to get the facts first

Check first to see if there are locks on any of the inside doors. Please be aware if you interfere you may be facing estrangement. Parents make the rules grandparents have to follow them .

We made the rules with our own children and my parents and in laws had to follow our rules.

I speak as a nan that followed all the rules but still my son estranged me 6 years ago . And no I don't know why . He did it via email after being with me 4 days before on my birthday and talked about putting paving down in my garden . I said he had enough to do and they where expecting their 3rd son . I have a grandson I don't know his name of date of birth. Last time I saw his brother's they where 4&2.

Get the true facts before risking never seeing you son and grandchildren ever again .

I have known two parents who locked there children in their bedrooms for their goodnights - with their sibling.

Does she actually mean locked?
I would be worried too.
Do the rooms actually have locks or is the door just closed?
You can't usually lock bathroom doors from the outside.

I'd believe her but also check the actual situation re locks and also speak to your son.