I'm not a hotel

NO is a complete sentence. If that's too short, "we are unable to have guests for the foreseeable future", they may ask why, don't respond just rinse and repeat. The solution is in your hands.

Grammaretto

My friend who lives in a very nice flat in Edinburgh finds friends come out of the woodwork every year at Festival time.

When he grumbled about them we told him it was his own fault, he should just say no but some people find it very hard to say no.

Wow! A flat in Edinburgh must be a real magnet for all and sundry come August.

I hope these temporary lodgers have the graciousness to make a financial contribution towards costs.

Try this if you can’t say ‘no’ -
I’m hosting foreign students this year, I thought I would see how it worked out and I’m really enjoying it.
This covers you for the whole year- it can also be used year on year if needed. Good luck

Mae13 I am afraid not. The guests I'm thinking of would come for a full week, have festival tickets booked for things my friend wasn't interested in.
If shopping needed doing they would replace with the cheapest. Always boasting about how cheaply they lived
I never met the couple and never wanted to.

My friend is in his 80s now and has a young lodger so everyone knows there's no room for freeloaders.

We moved into our new home last May.

In 90 nights we had guests for 42 of those!

One weekend we had 7 guests, making 9 of us, thankfully it was family but still work.

I was exhausted not to mention the cost.

Thankfully it’s all calmed down!

Frogoet - Sorry for your loss. I like company and I guess you would welcome visitors at the moment.
Personally I find the preparations for guests becoming overwhelming as I get older, though it is usually family so I get them to make up the beds with the clean bed linen etc.
When I stay with my DS and his family I sleep on a sofa bed in the lounge. I take a sleeping bag with me so they don't have to deal with bedding and it is easy to pack it into its bag every morning. I've just returned from a visit to them to meet my newest grandson and the last thing they need at the moment is more washing to do! I also bought fish and chips one evening for us all as it was getting late and they were trying to decide what to cook as things had been chaotic. If guests don't muck in and help and at least contribute something I think it is very inconsiderate and I sympathise with the OP!
One of my DS's uni friends has asked to stay with me a few times as he sometimes has to come to my area for things he is invoved in and he is still a PhD student, so short of money. The first time he came I hadn't met him before but had heard a lot about him, so I was happy to host. He gave me flowers and was no trouble. The next time he saw the state of my garden and said "How would you feel if I stayed an extra night and cleared the garden for you?" He did a fantastic job and the next time he repeated the arrangement and sorted the front garden too! He is godfather to DS's eldest and when I thanked him for all his hard work he said "What else should a godfather do for his godson's granny?" I'm happy to have him anytime as he is now like family!
Conversely an old friend came to stay last summer having invited herself at short notice. She had had problems with her flat being flooded and despite the fact that I was preparing to go away on holiday a few days later, I agreed as I felt sorry for her. It was a nightmare as she was really hard work and I realised why she had had to leave the previous place she'd stayed! Hopefully she won't invite herself again but I might have to say no if she does. We need to realise our limitations as we get older, and saying no has to be an option.

Not quite the same, but we have a wonderful caravan in a beautiful spot in North Wales. It is our hard earned haven and retreat. We only let a very limited group of people stay there after a couple of incidents of it being left in a beyond unacceptable condition. Come Spring, all sorts of people, especially colleagues with whom I wouldn’t want to spend leisure time, start cosying up to us in the hope that they can have a free holiday. The answer now is always a hard ‘no’. I don’t feel the need to give a reason.

I think a lot of problems are caused by not being straightforward.
People shouldn't invite themselves or presume to stay chez vous.
But if they try to
just say no that doesn't work for us.
No apology.
You've done nothing wrong in not bending yourself to their will.
This line needs to be asserted.
I've noticed some people keep up a veneer of being ever so nice and then gossiping and complaining about other people.
This could be avoided by not being so overly nice to begin with.
Nobody needs a good reason not to do something.
Unless a matter of law there is almost nothing that anyone has to do.
So just say no I don't do that.
Or not for me.

50ShadesofGreyMatter

NO is a complete sentence. If that's too short, "we are unable to have guests for the foreseeable future", they may ask why, don't respond just rinse and repeat. The solution is in your hands.

This.

Read.
Mark.
Learn
And inwardly digest.

Job done. Thanks poster.

welbeck

50ShadesofGreyMatter

NO is a complete sentence. If that's too short, "we are unable to have guests for the foreseeable future", they may ask why, don't respond just rinse and repeat. The solution is in your hands.

This.

Read.
Mark.
Learn
And inwardly digest.

Job done. Thanks poster.

Good reply.

JulieAT

I have the perfect solution. There is no bed in the spare room .

Good luck with that.

I've had responses including

"It's ok, we have sleeping bags and don't mind sleeping on the sofa/ floor .

Sorry to hear you've been in hospital; no need to feed us, we'll just cook for ourselves.

We'll bring and prepare all our own food all we need is a tiny space in your fridge.

We'll bring camping stoves. You'll hardly know we're there.

I know you said no dogs but he's a pedigree.

butterandjam

JulieAT

I have the perfect solution. There is no bed in the spare room .

Good luck with that.

I've had responses including

"It's ok, we have sleeping bags and don't mind sleeping on the sofa/ floor .

Sorry to hear you've been in hospital; no need to feed us, we'll just cook for ourselves.

We'll bring and prepare all our own food all we need is a tiny space in your fridge.

We'll bring camping stoves. You'll hardly know we're there.

I know you said no dogs but he's a pedigree.

That is why you do not give a reason or seek to justify saying No.
Those people are long experienced and well practised in cheeky pluckery.
The merest hint of an excuse and they will drive a coach and horses through it.
Give them no quarter.
Nor quarters.
Stand your ground.

If anyone rings expecting to stay just say you cannot put them up but could meet up for a meal during their proposed visit if you are at home. No explanation required.

Also if you get a cheeky one, saying they will bring sleeping bags or similar just say, no you misunderstand we don't want any visitors staying we find it exhausting.

We all need to put on our big girl pants as we age. Yes, I have hosted over 100 guests over the years, of varying gratomitude, politeness, rudeness too, but a few were a true joy., as they pitched in. I resist inviting people now, don't prompt them either, and it seems to have worked. When we meet up now its very short. Short and sweet.