Looking after grandchildren

If no proper daytime naps will sleep better at night! Ensure DS baby does get nap. Ask.why.he thinks he doesn't. Say good to be around cousins and get.used to different environments. You have to weigh up.the relative disadvantage to each.family member concerned if you change the arrangement as it.stands. Are you thinking baby napping in cot a bit restricting and are thinking of terminating arrangement w baby? Baby needs to be trained to sleep in buggy.

Is the little one more hyped up when they take him home or perhaps falls asleep in the car on the journey home? This might throw his / their schedule out. How many naps does he have perhaps, a reschedule of his nap time and your DD coming over after or before his nap might help , I agree it is nice for them to socialise together . Does he feel as if DD and her children take up too much of your time?

Thank you for your reply . Yes I think I need to train baby to sleep in buggy . I won't terminate arrangement as I have looked after all grandchildren and will do the same for youngest . I think DS and DinL get very anxious if baby does not get naps in the day as they have used sleep training . I agree and think being around cousins is good for baby , even if said cousins are a bit boisterous They think I won't concentrate on baby if cousins are there .I will start looking at training to sleep in pushchair so we can be out and about more .

Thank you for your reply . Yes I do think DS thinks DD and her children take up a lot of my time however DD is trying to help and I'm glad of their company it would be hard all day with just the baby. I look after DSs baby at their house . Baby has three naps and 2 - 2 and a half hour wake window . It's hard being a gran trying to please everyone and wearing yourself out with it all .

What does he want you to do? Does he want you to stop looking after the children so that his child gets a nap? Is that fair? If he doesn't like it perhaps he can review his child's daycare arrangements. If the children were at a childminders the situation would be the same.

Thank you for your reply. That's so true if baby was at a childminder the situation would be the same . Letting DD and her children come over is helpful and it helps DDs mental health . Us grans do so well really , DC don't know how lucky they are

I've got eight GC, some young adults now. I've done lots of childcare over the years, still doing some now. My rule is granny's house granny's rules. I don't do anything wildly outside what parents do but if I want/need to be doing something as long as it isn't dangerous for child I do it. So in your position I'd have my DD round. If baby is tired enough it will sleep.

I realise naps are important but so is Granny being able to childmind despite leading a very busy life. Well done you for managing all this. If your son wants the baby looked after he has to be a bit more flexible.
Make sure you look after yourself as well as looking after everyone else.

Summerskies,

I think you should be charging your DS and DD more for such exclusive and personal Nanny-granny services. Then they might appreciate the value for money. If DS and DD are still disappointed with the level of service, they should sack you and hire someone else.

Norland nannies charge at least £50 K pa, plus pension contributions by the employer and holiday pay.

Maybe the problem isn't the baby's naps but having the aunt and her children in their house while they aren't home.

Aww thank you so much for your replies it really has been so helpful and has lifted my spirits so much . Makes me feel better about it all and realise DS has to be more flexible and not so rigid about arrangements , to keep Gran happy and able to look after GC as well as do her nursing job in between .

Yes that could be something perhaps they don't like the fact aunty and cousins are in the house when they are not there I will ask DS this question

How's the humming bird cup doing?

Would your son be more relaxed if you looked after his baby at your own house, and your daughter visited you there?
I can understand him and his wife being a bit touchy about having two boisterous children in their house when they're not there!

At eight months old the baby can sleep in a lie-back buggy if you and your daughter want to take them all for a walk or to the park. Fresh air is good for all ages!

You're being very generous with your time Summerskies but you have to consider everyone, yourself included 😊

If the four cousins were siblings it would not be a problem, so I would think you should carry on as you are. You sound like a wonderful grandma!

Thank you so much again everyone you've all been really helpful with your comments.

Any suggestions?
Yes, tell him to pay for professional childcare if he doesn’t like it! What a cheek.

Totally agree with Basgetti I’m afraid.

I'm team DS. If they've been at work all day & they have to come home and try and settle a child that hasn't had it's usual nap time, after they've worked hard on sleep patterns, I can totally understand why they'd be peed off.

Missiseff

I'm team DS. If they've been at work all day & they have to come home and try and settle a child that hasn't had it's usual nap time, after they've worked hard on sleep patterns, I can totally understand why they'd be peed off.

Then get them to pay for a nursery or nanny!

All that sleep for an 8 month old seems excessive. Both of mine and DGS were crawling around at that age wearing themselves out. They would nap where they were.

Put the cot in another room, with a music box/mobile - if baby cannot see them, they will drop off. If you are going out, the movement of a buggy with hood up will send them off

I was about to say what Fran P said. If the cot is in the bedroom baby can sleep whether the others are there or not. Maybe try to keep especially noisy games away from that door.

If you didn't do it the baby would go to a childminder or nursery, neither place would accept those demands.
I'd explain that I'm not changing anything, it's up to them what they do from there.

I’d say that if he doesn’t think you are looking after him properly than find someone who will. I think you’re amazing.