Looking after grandchildren

As others have said if he doesn’t like the arrangement he can always cough up and put him in a nursery or send him to a childminder. I can’t see either of those options keeping other children quiet so that his son will be able to take naps.
He doesn’t know when he’s onto a good thing. Does he pay you the going rate for childcare? Does he pay you at all?

Missiseff

I'm team DS. If they've been at work all day & they have to come home and try and settle a child that hasn't had it's usual nap time, after they've worked hard on sleep patterns, I can totally understand why they'd be peed off.

If they aren't happy with the situation it is within their power to change the childcare arrangements and pay someone to do it.

He should be over the moon grateful that he has a grandparent who is willing and able to look after his offspring for him.

I think you are doing too much.

Summerskies

Yes that could be something perhaps they don't like the fact aunty and cousins are in the house when they are not there I will ask DS this question

You're doing DS a favour caring for his child, perhaps ensure DS understands being alone with a young child is tiring, your DD is helpful.

Does he think you are running a nursery? Hé should be more than grateful for all the effort you are putting in!

Missiseff

I'm team DS. If they've been at work all day & they have to come home and try and settle a child that hasn't had it's usual nap time, after they've worked hard on sleep patterns, I can totally understand why they'd be peed off.

Well then they should find and pay for childcare that suits them. It is not reasonable to expect Grandmother to spend all day on her own with a baby and dictate her routine while providibg them with free childcare! Allowing that she is doing ghis on top of a job and otger commitments ghey really do need to think aboutcwhich side their bread is buttered!

Maybe he should look at a nursery where they keep the babies to their home routines. Do they pay you to look after their children, if not they have minimal say as long as you are keeping them safe. If they do pay you then I suppose you have an obligation to do as they ask. Could it be a little jealousy that you have your other grandchildren at the same time even though their mother is there too which must be a help to you. I admire you anyway because when my grandchildren were young as was working but when I did look after them two at a time as a blinking struggle at my house, much easier at theirs.

I’d say that if he doesn’t think you are looking after him properly than find someone who will. I think you’re amazing.

If you didn't do it the baby would go to a childminder or nursery, neither place would accept those demands.
I'd explain that I'm not changing anything, it's up to them what they do from there.

I was about to say what Fran P said. If the cot is in the bedroom baby can sleep whether the others are there or not. Maybe try to keep especially noisy games away from that door.

All that sleep for an 8 month old seems excessive. Both of mine and DGS were crawling around at that age wearing themselves out. They would nap where they were.

Put the cot in another room, with a music box/mobile - if baby cannot see them, they will drop off. If you are going out, the movement of a buggy with hood up will send them off

Missiseff

I'm team DS. If they've been at work all day & they have to come home and try and settle a child that hasn't had it's usual nap time, after they've worked hard on sleep patterns, I can totally understand why they'd be peed off.

Then get them to pay for a nursery or nanny!

I'm team DS. If they've been at work all day & they have to come home and try and settle a child that hasn't had it's usual nap time, after they've worked hard on sleep patterns, I can totally understand why they'd be peed off.

Totally agree with Basgetti I’m afraid.

Any suggestions?
Yes, tell him to pay for professional childcare if he doesn’t like it! What a cheek.

Thank you so much again everyone you've all been really helpful with your comments.

If the four cousins were siblings it would not be a problem, so I would think you should carry on as you are. You sound like a wonderful grandma!

Would your son be more relaxed if you looked after his baby at your own house, and your daughter visited you there?
I can understand him and his wife being a bit touchy about having two boisterous children in their house when they're not there!

At eight months old the baby can sleep in a lie-back buggy if you and your daughter want to take them all for a walk or to the park. Fresh air is good for all ages!

You're being very generous with your time Summerskies but you have to consider everyone, yourself included 😊

How's the humming bird cup doing?

Yes that could be something perhaps they don't like the fact aunty and cousins are in the house when they are not there I will ask DS this question

Aww thank you so much for your replies it really has been so helpful and has lifted my spirits so much . Makes me feel better about it all and realise DS has to be more flexible and not so rigid about arrangements , to keep Gran happy and able to look after GC as well as do her nursing job in between .

Maybe the problem isn't the baby's naps but having the aunt and her children in their house while they aren't home.

Summerskies,

I think you should be charging your DS and DD more for such exclusive and personal Nanny-granny services. Then they might appreciate the value for money. If DS and DD are still disappointed with the level of service, they should sack you and hire someone else.

Norland nannies charge at least £50 K pa, plus pension contributions by the employer and holiday pay.

I realise naps are important but so is Granny being able to childmind despite leading a very busy life. Well done you for managing all this. If your son wants the baby looked after he has to be a bit more flexible.
Make sure you look after yourself as well as looking after everyone else.

I've got eight GC, some young adults now. I've done lots of childcare over the years, still doing some now. My rule is granny's house granny's rules. I don't do anything wildly outside what parents do but if I want/need to be doing something as long as it isn't dangerous for child I do it. So in your position I'd have my DD round. If baby is tired enough it will sleep.