In need of GN's good advice

I agree with what's already been posted, especially by Ziplok and Norah.

Ziplok

I’m afraid your good friend has behaved in a poor way by involving you in something that your mutual friend asked for time to put right without the need for any one else to know.

I don’t think you should say anything to anyone else - leave it up to your “good” friend to decide what she does next.

To be honest, if it were me she’d told this to, I’d now be wary of her as she has betrayed the confidence of your mutual friend by involving you (and perhaps others).

This.

Say nothing, do nothing, watch carefully.

It depends on the ongoing impact on others if it isn’t put right.

For instance:

If it’s a kitty that they put into every month and will potentially lose more if they don’t know

If it’s a joint savings that they are expecting to pay out a lump sum like a Christmas club or something

If it’s a deposit for a joint holiday that hasn’t been booked

That kind of scenario that would cause the others significant difficulties, the sooner they know the better so that they can take any action they need.

If there’s no further implications then I would keep quiet.

I can only think of a monetary problem from what you’ve said but I think the principle could apply to other situations.

In my experience people who get themselves into money difficulties very rarely manage to put them right without some kind of help from others.

I agree- your friend has laid a burden on you that you should not be carrying.

I think you should be quiet, time will make sure it will come to light and by then maybe no one cares?

Your friend should not have told you. Nor should you tell others, not only because that would be a breach of confidence but because I assume it’s nothing that can be put right by your spreading the story. I agree with others, it is probably ‘fingers in the till’. If she is the treasurer of your group then your friend should ensure that she puts the matter right and then stands down to avoid further temptation.

I would question why your good friend broke your mutual friends confidence.

It wasn’t her secret to share.

I’d keep very quiet, unless it’s something very serious which would damage people or highly illegal!

She should have kept the info to herself very unfair on the ‘other’ who has asked in confidence for time to put her wrong right, and very unfair on you too
I would be very suspicious of the ‘friend’ who saw it necessary to put private information out there

I’m afraid your good friend has behaved in a poor way by involving you in something that your mutual friend asked for time to put right without the need for any one else to know.

I don’t think you should say anything to anyone else - leave it up to your “good” friend to decide what she does next.

To be honest, if it were me she’d told this to, I’d now be wary of her as she has betrayed the confidence of your mutual friend by involving you (and perhaps others).

When in doubt say nowt

I agree with Silverbrooks and Elowen.

She has asked my good friend for time to try to put it right so nobody else would need to know.

And what has your good friend done? Told you. And now you are asking if you should spread whatever this is even further.

I can’t think what someone could have done beyond perhaps “borrowing” from a kitty of some kind because what other thing would affect several people and can be put right?

The issue is with your friend for betraying a confidence. I would be wondering who else she has already told. I’m inclined to agree with Elowen and to ask if you can help in any way to put this right.

If your good friend thought the others should know she would have told everyone and not just you. You could tell the mutual friend that you know so she will be aware it is not a secret.

If it is a theft issue I would keep out of it unless it harms someone else. In which case I would confront the person involved. If it is marital infidelity, as others say, keep clear.

Without knowing the exact situation, which, understandably, you don't wish to share, it is a bit difficult to advise. However, it sounds as though it would be best to keep quiet and hope for the best. It sounds like one of those problems that time will probably resolve. If it involves misappropriation of funds then all should be well if she pays the money back quickly.

You have nothing to feel guilty about, you have done nothing wrong and you probably feel it is to the greater good if you say nothing.

It depends what the original issue is. If it involved misappropriation of funds then I think there needs to be honest transparency.
If it’s something involving something like an affair, I’d stay out of it!

I would wait.

How much time has she asked for?

Uncomfortable not comfortable

I would wait and see if it does get rectified but I would put a time limit on so if it isn’t done by then you will tell the others in the group. I would also tell good friends who informed you that you feel very comfortable with the situation and this is the course of action you propose to take.

Could you go back to her, tell her you feel very uncomfortable with holding this information. Explain the effect on the group and give her something long to fix it or you will have to let the group know

Sarnia what an awful situation to be in. I cant say for definite, but part of any decision would be if I thought it could be put right in this way.
I wish no doubt like you that your friend shouldn't have involved you in this secrecy.

I suppose it’s a pity your friend felt the need to share this with you. ‘Where ignorance is bliss…’

Is that because she is not happy being the one to know whatever it is, and hopes you will do something about it, absolving her of any responsibility?