How to refuse without offending

You've always got a previous engagement. You've got covid. You're away on holiday that week. You've got repetitive strain injury and can't roll dice. Rinse and repeat until they give up asking you.

All that Fanny says but don’t lie too obviously (you’ll get found out) or over-explain - always the sign of a lie.
An enthusiastic but regretful, “oh that would have been lovely but I m afraid we can’t. Why don’t you come to us soon? “ (leaves it open)
If they open with the disingenuous “What are you doing next weekend/Christmas/Saturday” (tricky ) You may have to stall as in, “Got to check the calendar, I have a feeling there was something, can I get back to you”
A bad back, D&V, or flu are pretty unbeatable too but don’t get caught out at the cinema.
Or plead granny/babysitting/ teenage sleepover duties - they trump everything else.
If all else fails, go away!

Can you say that you love their company but next time would rather not play a game as you feel the games interrupt the lovely chatting?

If you can't tell your friends the truth then you'll be lying to them. I wouldn't want someone who lied to me as a friend, but we're all different.
Why can't you say you don't enjoy the games?

You haven't been doing a very good job of getting out of it up till now if you go several times a year!
I think you must like the games really.😉
If you truly can't face it, tell them honestly and ask to be excused games!

Now I am wondering what sort of “games” we are talking about? 😳😳😳

🤣🤣🤣

decline graciously several times and they should get the message.
it's not nice going but dreading it,

If they're really friends why don't you tell the truth..

Think yourself lucky you get invited to their homes, you must be a very well liked couple. Have you ever thought of inviting your friends to your home so you can spend the evenings as you want and just sit and talk and drink.

So many people would love to be in your shoes. Such a shame you don't appreciate it.

I don't like games either. even less now I am older. I'd much rather have good conversation preferably over a nice cheeseboard and a glass of wine. You are just going to have to tell white lies. Could you not invite them to yours?

can't you say you are too old for games now.
it's not a euphemism for an orgy, is it ?

Either tell the truth (but kindly) or say that you find the games rather exhausting now that you are getting older.

I'm with OldFrill on this. Would prefer my friends to be truthful (which they usually are). Good friends will not be fazed by it.

welbeck
it's not a euphemism for an orgy, is it ?

I agree with Oldfrill tell your friends the truth, good friends will understand. I would prefer that to being lied to. We were in a similar situation with friends who invited us to murder mystery parties. We went a couple of times then told them it really wasn't our thing. We get together on different occasions now and no hard feelings.

I’d be as openly blunt as I could, it’s polite to communicate honestly and in a mannerly way. There can be no misunderstanding and no bad feelings.

If you make excuses they may come up with solutions, change date or time etc,

Be honest when you refuse giving the real reason, you could say that you have given it a good go but dont like games and have only attended as you like their company and that you hope you can still all get together for food, drinks and conversation.

why not be honest, tell them you love the company and the food but you don't enjoy playing games, tell it's not really your thing, maybe you could invite them to your or ask if it would be okay to leave as the games are starting, what sort of games?, i think being honest is always best but said in a way that is not hurtful.

Madwoman11

We get invited to friends houses several times a year for food, drink and games, but we dread it because it really isn't our thing playing games.
We have decided we really need to decline any further invitations but we don't want to upset them.
We can't say "No we don't enjoy it" , or "We don't like the compulsory games".
We are a very sociable couple but we like to just relax over food and drinks and let the conversation flow

Are these people really your friends if you can’t be honest with them and say hey I would love to come over but games aren’t really our thing how about I’ll bring over some wine and food and we can hangout and chill.

I’m not meaning that at all in a rude snarky well and it’s totally fine sometimes we realize we think we are close with someone or friends with someone but then we realize if we can’t have those difficult conversations with them or be totally honest the friendship might not be the best fit.

Seems like you guys have different interests.

‘Thanks so much for asking us, but to be honest we’re not mad keen on games, so we’ll pass this time, but thanks anyway.’

I'd be honest with them and say you enjoyed the games at the time, but decided you prefer chatting, you can't keep making excuses forever

We have friends who love to do a full dinner party with silver and cut glass etc.
They sometimes ask a local clergyman Or another random couple that we have nothing in common with.
Last time she piled my plate up with pink lamb in bloody juice and so much veg that I felt quite unwell.
The next time she invited I said we couldn't make it but would meet for coffee another time. I've now also got the excuse of not liking to drive far and she seems to have got the message without us falling out.

We have some very good friends who are enthusiastic game organisers. They know we’re not keen. When invited to their home along with family, who expect and appear to enjoy the games, it’s understood we might join in with one at the most. Otherwise we top up drinks, disappear into the kitchen and tidy, bring out some food or simply sit and be an audience/keep score. No one minds. They probably do think we’re odd but it doesn’t stop the invites coming.

Can you not have a quiet word madwoman and say much as you enjoy their company the attraction of games has worn off. Make light of it, don’t sound as if you’re complaining, be regretful while not overly apologetic. It it’s the truth you could add something about physical health - an increase in pain the next day, headaches if you need to look closely at anything, exhaustion from the movement. Only if it is truth though, best not to fabricate illness.

If speaking to them seems impossible. maw’s strategy of the date not working (without explanation) followed by an invitation to your home in the near future surely can’t cause offence.

Be brave, if your friendship is sound it will survive.

No ha ha

Just say no. It’s quite simple.