Should I interfere with son's relationship

Don’t say anything, he is 30 and he has to be responsible for his relationships. Please don’t make any suggestions to ‘help’ him.

Definitely leave them to it

Don't say anything. Get to know her, be friendly, suggest a coffee together. Normal things to do to make someone welcome. Make yourself available and wait. |If she or he wants to talk they will.

But it is their relationship

Stay out of it.

Stay so far out of it.

Your instincts are kind - but neither of them will thank you for interfering.

He is a big boy now. Cut the apron strings and the umbilical cord and let him lead his life as he will. If he messes it up, then tough, he has to learn from the experience, or perhaps not.

Anything you do or say will only make a bad situation worse.

You would be stepping into a minefield. It must be difficult for you, having seen his first marriage break up, but best to stay out of it.

I probably would, but we have the sort of relationship where we say things to each other without taking the slightest offence.
Obviously he wouldn’t take any notice of me, but it wouldn’t stop me trying.

I can disccuss anything with DS, but I have always chosen never to discuss his personal relationships. It has always struck me as an intimacy too far and a subject that should not be discussed between parent and child, unless brought up by the person, considered to need help - and even then, I would be very wary of encouraging them, possibly at a time when they are very upset, because they might talk about things that with retrospect they wished they hadn't. Better to direct them to a Counsellor.

I certainly wouldn’t want to get into anything deep, but I would probably tell him to buck his ideas up and spoil the girl a bit.
As I said, he would most likely ignore me, but he certainly wouldn’t take any offence.

No no no. Keep out. Unless of course you want him living with you forever more?

Thank you all. I appreciate the advice. It's so hard standing by and leaving them to live their lives isn't it.

No not really. You had your turn to make choices. It’s his now.

Um no, he’s a grown up.

NO NO NO not your business ….he’s 30 leave him be to do what ever is right for them if it goes pearshape it wasn’t meant to be

Thank you all. I appreciate the advice. It's so hard standing by and leaving them to live their lives isn't it at 30 you shouldn’t even know what he’s doing let alone monitoring his relationships even with the best will in the world
Let go

May I ask why you are asking a forum if you should interfere?

You already know you are not sugar coating this by calling it helping, guiding or assisting your son

You already know the answer

As a parent, you should NEVER be getting involved in your children's relationships and as an AC you should NEVER be asking your parents to get involved in your relationships.

A parent's instinct is to protect a child. That's normal. That's okay. That's what parents are supposed to do. But it also means that parents are not objective third parties when it comes to their children.

If your son and his partner are having issues, it's for them to sort out - without you.

Summerlove

Stay so far out of it.

Your instincts are kind - but neither of them will thank you for interfering.

I agree

NO!!

No! Leave him to his life . You are obviously finding it difficult to step away - but step away you must. Please do that and I wish you well.

Stay out of it and definitely don’t ask his girlfriend for coffee! What a barmy idea!

You should have stepped away at 20 not be asking at 30 poor chap

Do be silent.
My neighbour is now estranged from her son because she couldn’t be keep her thoughts to herself.