Any wise words on leaving this mortal coil

BlueBalou a family member died in December. He had left his body to science (Oxford University).
His body was not required as the university have enough. Oxford tried and failed to find an alternative. The body was privately cremated and a funeral, in accordance with the would be donor's wishes will take place in April.
You should let your wishes for disposal be known, because if your body is accepted by the university the remains are usually returned to the family once the university has finished with the body.

Nowadays there often seems to be such a long gap between death and funeral, so at least you’ll be sure that the person really is dead. Every one we’ve attended in the last few years (too many old friends departing ?) has been like this.

My mother died just about a week before the entire family was due to be away for at least several days - in our immediate case a fortnight - for a dd’s big wedding do in France.

Although she was 97 and had late stage dementia, there was a delay in getting the death certificate anyway, because she had seen a locum rather than her usual GP shortly beforehand. So a funeral before we all left was not possible.

So she had to go into ‘cold storage’ until we were all back, at least 3 weeks later, when we finally gave her the kind of send-off she’d have thoroughly enjoyed - a traditional service, followed by family and friends having lunch in our back garden on a lovely sunny day.

If nobody wants this this body when I go my family know I couldn’t care less what happens to it. Meryl is gone, she’s not there.

If it were legal I have enough friends with boats who would take the body to a lovely creek behind Brightlingsea. Are seals carnivores ?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I have actually expressed alternatives to leaving my body to science, a ‘me only’ cremation and a really nice meal for all the family.
I honestly cannot stand cremations and burials make me feel even worse.
There’s no easy solution unless I can arrange spontaneous combustion in an isolated beauty spot or beach!

And they can have the nice meal regardless of how I get disposed of ?

Oldernewgranny sorry no advice to offer on pacemakers but I think if you start your post as a new thread it will be more easily noticed and there will be some helpful advice.

Skydancer

I would like to wear a silk dress, have flowers in my hair and be put in a little rowing boat on the river in the sunshine. Then someone fires a flaming arrow at the boat which burns.

Reminds me of the film starring Billy Connolly - ‘What we did on our holiday’. Absolutely wonderful how the children send him off. I won’t disclose the details in case I spoil the film for anyone. A must see!

I have thought about death since my husband recently passed away. I have decided my coffin should be lined with chocolate and if I find I am not quite dead on burial I have something to eat, and if I am cremated I will be like a giant fondue.

I held my mother's hand when she died. A short time later I touched her again to say goodbye it was like touching cold stone. You don't mistake death

Shinamae

Skydancer

I would like to wear a silk dress, have flowers in my hair and be put in a little rowing boat on the river in the sunshine. Then someone fires a flaming arrow at the boat which burns.

A sort of mini Viking funeral? If I had the money I would have a proper Viking funeral, out from the North Devon coast in a long ship and have friends and relatives firing flaming arrows into it….(you can actually get a replica of a Viking longship to put cremated ashes in and send that out to sea so that might be a viable option for me)..

I always wanted a Viking funeral...I think I never quite got over the Kirk Douglas film!

However...as any cash left certainly won't be enough for a long ship, I've opted for cremation without any burning arrows.

I’m all for cremation. I watched a horror film as a child where someone was buried alive so as soon as I knew what cremation was I wanted to go that way.
There are lots of checks that are done to make sure you are dead so I don’t worry about that part of it.
I’m also going to have a straight to Crem funeral. So there are no cars, people nothing. They just take my body away and bring the ashes back to whoever is my next of kin at the time.

I'd like to be scattered
But the wind needs to be in the right direction otherwise you get blown back in people's faces.
Know someone that happened to and it went in his mouth and he swallowed some.
He basically ate his granny.

Skyblue2

Skydancer

I would like to wear a silk dress, have flowers in my hair and be put in a little rowing boat on the river in the sunshine. Then someone fires a flaming arrow at the boat which burns.

Reminds me of the film starring Billy Connolly - ‘What we did on our holiday’. Absolutely wonderful how the children send him off. I won’t disclose the details in case I spoil the film for anyone. A must see!

I am, @Skyblue2 and @Skydancer, in the process of exploring whether a form of Death Cafe where people meet to discuss death and other similar matters over tea/coffee and cake might be of interest locally.... I have been interested in this concept of coping with loss of any kind for some time... Interestingly, after a few exploratory meetings, a copy of the Billy Connolly film mysteriously appeared at the top of one of the heaps in my attic... I plan to try it out on a couple of friends to see how it is received. DH and I, after much research, purchased a plot in our local graveyard. We were very excited to visit our plot and drove down to see it, laughing all the way; DH suggesting he lie down on it for me to take a photo. There was a JCB in the graveyard, digging a grave, though, so we behaved ourselves. I have a friend who makes felt coffins and shrouds and hope she outlives us so she can make ours....

Cremation for me. I know there may be a bit of pollution but all the space taken up with burials in this overcrowded as it is land, no thank you. Plus I don't want folk to have to tend grass, flowers etc or feel guilty at not managing to visit a hole in the ground.

OP, have you thought about looking into donating your body to Medical Science to benefit others in Medical Research?

Cremation for me: no one is putting me in the ground to be eaten. I'm also claustrophobic anyway, so the thought of being buried sends shivers down my spine.

Plus I want the freedom to be free which scattering my late husband ashes and mine will give me/us.

Spiritually death as birth is a very natural part of life. I practice non duality so there is no birth or death in spiritual terms anyway. It's only the body that dies. Yes it's my persona/energy thst foesnt want my body put in the ground.

Anyone interested in non dual which is the secular version of mysticism and the desert fathers have a listen to these speakers on YouTube. Non duality takes some getting your emotions/spirit around so stick at it if you feel it's for you.

Fr Richard Rohr (For Christians, especially the delusioned ones)

Non Duality speakers (secular)

Eckhart Tolle
Rupert Spira
Terence Stevens
Tim Cliss
Kenneth Madden

Many more but these will get you started

Although my ancestors and parents and even my dear brother were buried, (I had no say in this), I don't visit their graves as I believe that once we are dead our bodies just rot away - why would you visit a compost heap? Instead, I keep an object in my home which reminds me of them and the happy times we shared.
I also believe there is something unhygienic about bodies (some that may have died of terrible diseases) being put into the earth. Better the cleansing by fire of a cremation, and I'd just like to be put on the conveyor belt, dressed nicely and looking my best and sent off into the furnace. As that is unlikely to happen, a wicker coffin will do - just so long as it's pretty!

Perhaps I’m unusual but I couldn’t care less what happens to my shell when I’ve died because I won’t know about it. I begrudge the exorbitant amounts charged for burials and cremations and would rather go in the bin unfortunately it’s illegal!

BlueBelle, I didn't realise things are different in the UK. In Denmark, the other Scandinavian countries, and as far as I know in Germany, most people do die in hospitals, hospices or care homes nowadays.

But wherever you die, there is a legal requirement for a doctor to sign the death certificate and a list of things he or she must check. So I don't suppose it really matters where you die, the legal requirements will be observed by the attending physician.

I hadn’t thought about these things but not I’m terrified. Can one ask for a lethal injection justtobe sure one is dead ??

Nobody need worry about being buried or cremated alive, as it's not possible to survive the processes undertaken by the funeral home.

Well thanks Pamela J for making me feel even worse than I did at the time, I was unfortunate enough to have to cremate my dead child and for me it was the lesser of two evils!

The thought of being buried alive terrifies me, I hate it when it happens in a film/tv. The heat from a furnace means you are dead on seconds it takes a long time to die if your prematurely buried.

I’m not afraid to die and there’s not much choice about what happens afterwards.

As in embalming of the body, I should have added.

My husband and I have discussed this ‘transition’ as it were and have opted for body donation. We ran it past our children and they supported it. I hope only that when the time comes either he or I have the heart to go through with it.
ps having shared flats with medical students years ago, I wonder….