Do your children ring you?

I rarely phone anyone. My mother used to complain that she got calls every day from my brothers and my answer was “why do you need me to phone then?” I took her out regularly and to medical appointments which the brothers didn’t and she still complained I didn’t phone enough! Mum died and do I regret it? No! I was there for here in a practical sense all time. My now grown up daughters and I keep in touch via text but rarely speak on phone! Guess I am one who doesn’t like speaking in the phone?

We all keep in tough via whatsapp seems to work well, very rarely make phone calls these days.

I see my son ,his partner and his two daughters almost every day,might just be a pop in to see if I need anything from the supermarket or for a good old blether with his Dad.I speak to my daughter several times a day and we msg on FB through the night a lot as she has difficulty sleeping as she suffers from chronic health issues.
My GC also msg me to let me know how things are ,they'll be here tomorrow to make some icing trees for christmas cakes and for the next two Saturdays to finish decorating the cakes before the end of term.

I know how lucky I am to have such a close family.

No. Never.

My mum as she got older expected a 6 o'clock phone call from me every evening just the time when the cheaper rate came in for landline calls. She would berate me if it was later even by 30minutes. It was stressful for me as a single parent working as a nurse to do this and I became resentful of this demand.
I could see it from her life that she was lonely although my dad was still alive and with her at that time. There was no demands made on my 2 older brothers who had wives and phoned infrequently.
Now I am older I remember how those evenings felt for me and I don't want my daughters to ever feel under pressure to contact me. As it happens we do speak on the phone every 3-4 days but always with the opening line "are you free for a chat ? "No problem if the answer is " no mum chaos here " Accepted and phone another time. I remember those evenings of chaos and sheer mental and physical exhaustion.

My DD and I message regularly, often several times a day. We rarely speak on the phone and we use FaceTime two or three times a week to stay in touch. I much prefer that as it means we get to see our grandchildren too. Our oldest DGS often asks him mummy if he can FaceTime Grammy and Pops because he needs to tell them … what he’s been doing at nursery, what he had for tea, and on one occasion just that he missed us ?

MercuryQueen

My dad and I have a text going where she drops me a line when she can during the day. She often calls late at night after everyone else is in bed to chat. If she wants to talk to her dad or siblings, she calls the house phone.

I’d say we chat a few times a week, but I also don’t get to see her often, as she lives a couple of hours away, and almost never has two days in a row off work.

If I saw her weekly for lunch, we wouldn’t talk on the phone much.

I couldn’t pass this without asking. It doesn’t make sense from the first line. If you’re there MercuryQueen, could you explain?

I think she might have meant DD rather than dad?

Germanshepherdsmum

I think she might have meant DD rather than dad?

Yes...good thinking GSM

It's just that I'm always making typos ...!

Yes, sorry DiscoDancer. Autocorrect struck and I didn’t catch it.

I have 4 and they all phone once or twice a week. Depends what's going on and sometimes they miss a week and another week they might phone 3 or 4 times.

I don't pressure them as they are all busy.

We use a mixture of phoning, WhatsApp and texts to keep in touch. I speak to DD who is furthest away on a set night each week mainly I suspect so we both keep up with family goings on. The AC who are nearer, maybe a call from us or one from them according to what is happening. They are all working full time so I don't expect daily updates unless someone is unwell.

I speak to my Hermes courier and Amazon delivery driver more than my children these days

This is from GN back in 2016

Thought you all might like this...it was sent to me by a friend.

Good morning. . . .. At present we are not at home but, please Leave your message after you hear the beep.. Beeeeeppp ....
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3
If you want us to wash your clothes and ironing, press 4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8
If you need money, press 9
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or want to take us to the theatre start talking we are listening !!!!!!!!!!!"

That's excellent!

I know exactly how you feel. I am the one who always gets in touch with my eldest son. My DIL who is ok would never think of ringing or texting me. I have been estranged from my daughter for 7 years now. My youngest son lives and works away and he phones me every weekend for at least 30 minutes for a chat. Sometimes it is shorter if he has work to do. When it comes to my 2 eldest children then I might as well not be here. You are not alone as I feel so down at times as well. Such cute little children and what happened in the meantime? You take care of yourself and have the best life that you can possibly have. Sending you love and hugs. ?

I’m very lucky. I only have one child but despite a very demanding job and working all hours he phones every weekend for a good long chat, wherever in the world he is. I count my blessings when I read some of the sad stories about adult children on GN.

ValerieF I too dislike the phone, but can be a real gasbag in the flesh face to face. I really like FaceTime as it’s almost as if the person is in the room with you, but I’m very fussy who I FaceTime!
I’m like Garbo, who said “I want to be left alone” not ‘I want to be alone”.

no they do't but I ring my Mum

No I didn't have my children to keep me company, and perhaps I didn't explain myself very well, but I don't actually feel inclined to now.
While most of you answered my question very well and politely can I just point out that there were some harsh comments which were uncalled for. Nobody should judge me because non of you know me or my circumstances.

MaybeMaw that GN post was so funny!

I also feel pressurised to talk to parents when I have just finished work or sometimes when I am working ( just because they are single, have nothing to do and think I should talk to them) so I try to balance their being lonely and each being on their own with my own needs. Really it ends up with me umming and ahhing in the right places to the parent who always calls me when it's convenient for them. The other parent will get a long conversation from me because they will arrange a time to talk.

Yes! Too often and are affronted if I’m not able to talk!
One call from youngest this morning to tell me he’s through security at the airport and another from eldest to tell me her Aga is arriving today and a moan about mask wearing.

I am expected to be on hand at all times!
If ignore the calls they ring my husband to see if Im OK.

They speak to each other regularly but save the all the moaning for me!

Middle one is on holiday in Tenerife so phone silence?.

We have two sons who are very different, both are married and live a short drive away from us. Our older son phones me every Monday without fail to see how we are and have a chat and my phone is full of texts from him. Our younger son never really phones or texts us but he has a heart of gold and is always there for us if we need him, in fact he is a carbon copy of his Dad who is a man of few words and only ever phones me or his sister. When my mother-in-law was alive I had to nag my husband to call her, I often had to put the phone in his hand and tell him to speak to his Mum.

Update!! Middle one just called from Tenerife furious at the charges for a PCR test. ????