AIBU to feel enraged after all these years?

People change over time. It doesn't sound like she's the same person she was 50 years ago. Who among us is? Maybe she's had a hard lesson somewhere along the line and it's helped her to review and change her behaviour.

I agree with Aveline

Maybe this woman has changed for the better-but meanwhile you are left with bitter memories.
I can understand and sympathesise with you .

Perhaps what you perceived to be bullying fifty years ago modified into a forceful approach which helped people achieve the changes they wanted?

You need to let this go or she has bugged you twice over: once as a student and now. A rueful shrug is all it deserves ...

I have similar memories, Eric, of a woman, now a yoga teacher and "wellness coach" who was a deeply unpleasant Queen Bee when my daughters were at school with her as teenagers.
I hope that she reflected on that time, as an adult, and this has made her want to do better.

I understand your anger and frustration. Bullies never understand how far reaching their bullying can be and how they are remembered over the years.
But this woman means nothing to you now, don’t let her have any further hold over you by experiencing this anger, you have to let it go and move on, or she is once again controlling how you feel.
Wishing you well with this 💐

No, you are not being unreasonable to feel as you do Eric. Bullying leaves emotional scars that stay for a lifetime and those responsible rarely take accountability for the harm they've caused.

You might find it cathartic to write a letter that exposes her past and then when you're ready, burn it.

Don't let the memory of what she was like bring you down and don't forget how courageous you were not to quit and overcome her nastiness. You did so then; you can do so again. .

You are not being silly.

BUT, you must no longer allow this woman to occupy your thoughts or as some might say “take up residence in your brain”.

Put her completely out of your head immediately and concentrate on you, your life, your family and your friends.

Awful as she was/is, she’s of no significance and should not be allowed to be so!

Eric wise words I read many years ago.

Forgiving is not forgetting, it's remembering and letting go.

If you are contemplating revenge, then dig two graves. Paraphrasing here, but the message seems to be that you will lose part of yourself if you do this. Attempting to expose her awful behaviour may do her damage. Would you be happy about that, or would you feel that in making someone unhappy you have diminished yourself and behaved as she did all those years ago? I understand how you feel - I was bullied at school - but please let it go.

You are not being unreasonable to feel this way but be cautioned bitter thoughts however justified will eat away at you and do you no good whilst doing her no harm. Then she wins again. Don’t allow that. If she hasn’t changed then people will start to realise the kind of person she is. If you broadcast it you are the one who stands to be seen in the wrong light as vindictive. As a life coach it’s what she has done a course on so not necessarily her own ideas - do as I say not as I do. Try to let it go, much as it rankles. There’s an old saying “God doesn’t repay his debts in money”.

Life's experiences have maybe mellowed her over the years. She may feel dreadful about the person she was 50 years ago. For your own sake, let it go.

My advice? Sing the theme tune from ‘Frozen’ 🎵 🎶
Play it on Alexa if you have one and belt it out.
“Let it Go”
You’ll feel better for it I think!

Thank you, each and everyone for your thoughts and advice. I had pretty much forgotten about the nasty piece of work, but reminded of her recently and her told of her life coaching. It's her choice of work I find disturbing, perhaps she did have to change!

Maybe she's changed - it's a long time.

It's horrible when someone like that gathers a clique & bullies you - I've been there, & not that long ago. You know if it wasn't you, it would be someone else, & you know her "followers" are only going along with it because they don't want to be on the receiving end themselves, but it's vile behaviour.

Maybe the training satisfies her need to be "queen bee" & she doesn't have to bully any more. Agree with everyone else - let it go, but I would be enraged too.

Perhaps she too had some past trauma in childhood which she found a way to recover from; became a very different person, and has spent her adult life helping others by sharing what she learned the hard way.

Your best bet is to be grateful you are not being coached by her now and that your last contact was 50 years ago. Then, step out into the freedom of the fresh air and go and treat yourself to something nice and then smile to yourself.

I know how you feel. I was at an all girls boarding school and in the 6th form a new girl joined the boarding house and my form and she made my life a miserable hell during the day and in the boarding house too. She has gone on to be a headteacher of a school for children who have been excluded from mainstream schools, and it seems as if she is highly thought of.

Her name was used in my family to describe a bully.

As you said,, how vile she was!! pleased that she changed, one can but hope, she wouldn`t be doing so well if she hadn`t changed... haven`t well all changed? I know I have

changed as long as it is for the better!!

Let it go. It was 50 years ago. You are just wanting payback which in my eyes makes you as bad as her! Be the bigger person....

🎵 🎶 🎵 Let it go 🎶 🎶

Eric you are only hurting yourself by holding onto your resentment, however justified it once was.

To my mind it would be silly to try to convince anyone that this woman had once been a bully. You might not be believed, and would very likely be seen as petty or envious, and if you publish anything very detrimental, you might find yourself in legal difficulties.