‘ This Morning’ with Phil and Holly

The best advice I was ever given was that Christmas is a Season, not one day. Our arrangements were complicated because DH played in a dance band, which meant that he was 'working' Christmas Eve, Christmas lunch, Christmas dinner, same again on boxing day and repeat at New Year. My Father was a shift worker so big family dinners could be at lunch time, tea time, evening, or whenever to suit him. My parents were happy to get together at some point over the season but MIL made a fuss every Christmas and expect her son to collect and return her and Grandpa (they didn't drive) for dinner at our house every Christmas Day. Managed to fall out and spoil every single Christmas.

Oblivious!

Didn’t watch it, never do, but as long as they live close enough I’d have thought a visit for an hour would be a good compromise. A month old baby is going to be completely obvious to Christmas anyway!

It’d be vv unreasonable IMO to expect such new parents to host.

When my dd was very heavily pregnant with her 3rd (baby was born very early Jan) and obviously she didn’t want to be far from the hospital, we did go to them, but I took absolutely everything for the dinner, and cooked it - in the hope that she’d rest and put her feet up! Alas she hardly did, but that was probably inevitable anyway.

This picture speaks a thousand words, one for THEM and another for us!

taken mid pandemic 2021 when everyone else was told to wear masks

My middle son has gone through a pretty rough time with long covid but the his first son is due on 31st October. My DH and I have invited them for Christmas dinner but we have said if they prefer to have their first christmas with the baby at home that's fine by us. If they do decide that I have no intention of going to see them on Christmas Day but may go over on the 26/27th as long as they're agreeable. Their baby, their rules.

I can’t watch that programme, Philip Schofield is dreadful.

The grandparents are so selfish. They expect the new Mum to prepare Christmas Lunch for everyone while doing everything a three month baby needs. It really is up to the new Dad to be very firm and tell his parents that it won't happen. If he doesn't there will be resentment for a long time over a time that can never be reclaimed

Expecting to find a solution to your problem through a live tv broadcast is not the answer. More likely to make it worse.

I would say it would be reasonable for the grandparents to call for an hour or so and see their son and DiL and the baby. Maybe it could be timed for when baby is likely to be awake. Baby is far too young to know anything about Christmas anyway, but I understand the grandparents wanting to see their new grandchild, but I’d have thought they wanted to see their son and DiL too. If there are other grandparents around, they could do the same, call for an hour. It’s not reasonable to expect a new mum with a baby of about three months by then, to be hosting Christmas.

I think the parents should enjoy their first Christmas Day with their baby on their own in their own home and relax !! It’s just a day, Christmas causes so many issues for so many families ! We never see our darling GS on the actual day ! None us of feel aggrieved ! We have a massive day together before the day and another one early new year ! My son lives in Bristol, a 4 hour drive from us, our daughter, with GS lives well over an hour from us….it’s always all good !

Phil is overexposed on tv in my opinion he’s everywhere

I don’t watch This Morning either, like others I just can’t abide Phil or Holly, it’s time they changed things up on that programme.
Sounds like they made the new mum feel guilty and so she gave in and agreed live on air to have the grandparents over.I bet she’ll be simmering and resentful from now until the big day having been railroaded into it. Lovely for families to get together over the festive season but sometimes you just want the day to yourselves, entertaining is hard work. It’s not quite so bad if people just drop in to see the children for a little while, wish everyone a Happy Christmas then leave but it sounds like these grandparents wanted to be there all day! There’s always Boxing Day, which can often be more relaxed, why don’t the grandparents invite them over to them? Doesn’t sound like very good advice from the agony aunt but then we don’t know the full story.

I don’t understand these people on TV and in newspapers who call themselves agony aunts what qualifications do they have for this role.
I didn’t see it as I don’t watch the program but I don’t think this new mum should be made to listen to what her in laws say,she should follow through with what she wants and the mil should be more understanding and thoughtful

I’m in a similar situation. My daughter’s first baby is due any day and she doesn’t realise how stressed she could be. She wants to have Christmas as we’ve always done it. At her house, because she’s the only one with a house big enough. We’ve compromised by booking a restaurant nearby, for the meal, and agreeing to visit in the afternoon and evening, depending on how she feels. It’s difficult. Grandparents want to be involved but I do feel in today’s world, many feel they are reliving their time with young children again. I don’t like this neediness. I also don’t like the way some people feel entitled. Christmas is for family, I agree. But why expect the young woman in your scenario to host? Ridiculous.

Can’t stand Phil especially on the adverts he features in

Dear Grandparents of this new baby - Back off!
Not your place to impose yourselves on these new parents.
If you do then you risk causing difficulties in your relationship in the future.
Be generous and sensitive.

I think it is a definite NO NO to expect to 'be right there' for the family's 1st Christmas and I would make a point of saying i understood 100% that they will want to be on their own, that way the cards are on the table and everyone is fully switched on to what is what.

Regarding Philip Schofield ( i know the post isnt about HIM ) i am sick to the back teeth of seeing him on TV.... but anyway, THAT is another post altogether.

Cards on table, face up, let it 'out there' then everyone is fully aware, THATS my take on the matter.

I never watch the programme. I do think it is so wrong that these grand parents are insisting that they visit on Christmas day. This new family want it to be their special day. They should do it as they want. What awful people these grandparents are.

This boils down to the simple fact that people are different - lots of indignation on this thread and rightly so but at the same time it works for some families to have grandparents involved from the birth of their grandchildren. However I do think if they are present in the very early days and at first Christmastimes and Easter it should be as a result of being invited and there should be a big offer of some kind of help.

They’ve got mouth’s maybe need to use them but try to do it nicely say not Christmas Day but another day

Don’t watch it but I know when my DCs were little we wanted Christmas to ourselves. DDs in-laws and extended family always seem to land Boxing Day - even when she had a little one and was very pregnant. I think it is unfair as they both work FT and they should all take turns on being invaded.
Those on the TV will have a chaotic Christmas as babe won’t know the time of day and they should be left in peace to ‘muddle through’ without the stress of entertaining others

When my son was born on 20th December we had no parents close by so we had Christmas Day with just the three of us. Our best friends came for the day on Boxing Day bringing a home cooked meal with them which they finished off at our house. That was wonderful.

I also never watch PS & HW either. As a Nanny of 5GC, I would never dream of imposing my self on my AC on Xmas Day, that is so wrong and that poor young Mum has been given disgusting advice. I always say to my AC to let me know what their Xmas plans are, and as long as I see them at sometime over the Xmas/New Year period, I fit in with them entirely. As others have said, it’s just so selfish to force yourselves on your family.

I'd be hurt if I couldn't see my GC on or around Christmas. But I'm not bothered about the 25th particularly - 26th or 27th etc would be fine.

I don't watch Good Morning but I'm sure Philip would be doing his best perhaps?

Maybe the grandparents feel they would be helping by cooking dinner?

People are too hung up on The Day. We often have our lot over on Boxing Day.

I don't watch the programme, but if a young mum asked my advice, I'd tell her to have the Christmas she wants, grandparents can facetime. I am a mum and a grandmother, as my grandchildren grow up I don't expect to see them every Christmas, I encourage my children to make time for themselves as a family, build their own family traditions