Do you ever wish you'd had more/fewer children?

Just to say, that being a full-time Mum to six or seven (sometimes eight) children, still seems - to me- to be a far easier and less stressful (except for the money) option than all my daughters who have returned to work within months of the births of their babies.

I wonder how many kids our grandparents had in the past. Having three kids was absolutely normal. Most of them wanted to have more.

I have three children, but would have liked to have had a fourth.Circumstances prevented it really.

I wanted four, ex husband didn’t want any, managed to have two.

Sunshinemum12 I think most well balanced people cope very well with what befalls them and look forward rather than backwards. I had one child at 27 and divorced when she was 7. I married again at 40 and much to my surprise had a second daughter at 41 (tbh I thought it was an early menopause). It totally messed up my career, but I don't care and she's given me so much pleasure and joy. You are actually still quite young, don't feel you have to make a decision when you are not ready.

I was one of four, and the fourth was a ‘surprise’ and she 16 years younger than me with 2 brothers in between. We were packed off to boarding school so never formed close relationships, and parents doted on the youngest to the detriment of my elder brother and me. As a consequence I only wanted a maximum of 2 children and was fortunate enough to have 2 wonderful daughters and now 2 granddaughters.

Follow your own instincts is my advice.

Three of my children have an only child (not all by choice). One of them lives abroad and has no family nearby, but the other two cousins, aged 2 and 3, meet often (they are in a bubble together) and are very, very close, almost like brother and sister. Seeing how they care for one another is lovely, but highlights the lack of a much-wanted sibling.

I had 3 within 3 years. Would have loved a 4th but 3rd (DD2) was 5 weeks early and had cord round her neck tightly and her heart rate was dropping during delivery. DH was shoved out way and was as white as a sheet as he thought we were both going to die as room filled with emergency medics. Midwife saw his panic and told everyone apart from student to go outside and wait, then DD2 arrived screaming lustily back to front. Photos show where the cord was tight round her neck. So that was that. I wouldn't have put DH through the sheer stress again.

We live in a different world nowadays. Our comfort plays a great role. We want to live in a beautiful house and have an opportunity to travel. If we have a kid, we also have to spend time and money on him. That is why we are more responsible while making a decision about the kid. I appreciate that some places make a huge discount for children. I like the Little Scholars Brooklyn Child Care where my son is. They have a high-quality educational program that allows kids to grow smart and intelligent.

I think it has been a difficult year for many mums whether they have one or six children so your not alone. I had such a bad birth that I swore I would stop at one, but went on to have two (another difficult birth) and I am sorry that I didn't have more. But I moved house every 18 months (husband's job) both in the UK and overseas, and had little support from family. Children are a blessing and yes, every mum will tell you it's very hard work. I have a couple of friends who are only children and they have grown up to be quite spoilt, have an 'all about me' attitude to everything, no very little about sharing and are quite selfish.

What? Is this a serious question? How can anyone say what is right for individuals? Who would actually say they “regret”a child they have? Some may say they would have liked more but couldn’t conceive. If you are asking about choice? Such a personal decision that nobody can really answer.

Pointless excersise

I had two because I thought it would be less work as they would have each other for company and have a built in playmate.

I have never had reason to question my decision. I have a boy and a girl and they could not be more different in every aspect of their personalities and tastes. We treated them both the same and despite the usual childhood spats, they were companions for each other as children and they are, and have always been very close to each other.

DS is married with children. DD decided when she was very young that she wanted neither a live-in partner nor children, but she dotes on her niece and nephew, who love her too and see her as a constant source of fun and frolics.

I wish I had more, but sadly had 3 miscarriages and PCOS, so I'm lucky to have any!

I had six with the last one an unexpected surprise. I could never want less because they are all amazing individuals I can't imagine not having had. I liked the idea of more but that turned out to be right for us. Of course, if I'd had more, same would apply. I wouldn't be without them as I'd know who I'd be missing out on. Everyone needs to weigh up what is right for them and their family. I didn't have extended family help but just got on with it.

Well this is a huge question, and every single person is different, however here goes! I have 2 children one of each, and 4 absolutely wonderful grandchildren, 2 of each and I love them all to bits......but I have often wished that maybe I hadn’t had children. They are yours for life, you NEVER stop worrying about them, or trying to help them out in their bad or sad times. Then when they have children it all starts again, the same emotions, maybe even stronger ones, the same worries for them. So yes sometimes I do think the worry is too much as I get older, and maybe my life would have been less stressful without them, my partner agrees that he feels the same with his even larger family ( lost my husband 9 yrs ago) so I guess I’m saying I can’t give you a straight answer, but I can tell you they have given me way more happiness then I would ever have thought possible. Xx

I have to say when I went back to work it was so easy compared with being home with 4 children. I was happier, they were happier because I was and it was good all round. We fostered as well for a while but those children were so easy compared with my own!

This is quite sensitive for me but DH and I were unable to conceive and for many years tried very hard but to no avail. We decided eventually to go down the adoption route which took over 4 years and eventually got a beautiful little girl only a few weeks old. We now have 2 x DGD's and it is such a joy to be able to share our/their lives and would not change it for the world. I used to get so depressed not being able to give birth but now I think we are just so lucky for what we have and having each other.

sunshinemum12

Hi Sunshinemum

I had one child and was very happy and my life felt perfect

Then my husband wanted another child because he was hoping for a girl

I didn't really wa t more children but but went for it because it was what my husband wanted.

It was a mistake, our life took a downward turn and our marriage was pretty much ruined when my second child was born.

So you see what's most important here is.. Do you both really want another baby or are you considering having another baby so that you present child isn't alone.

It is of course important that you think of your present child but if you are not 100% sure you are both going to cope I wouldnt have another child because you see you will be doing for your present chd but if you don't cope and your marriage suffers what good will that bring, and your child will now be living in a strained and un happy home.

Lastly, if you are not sure you shouldn't have another child because as you know it is a big responsibility
I wish someone had said this to me

before I had my second child

I wish you all the very

We had one of each, which we thought was superb, and helped keep world population steady. Now wish that we had had another child.
But son died at 22, and we were then too old to have more, and such a gap.
Daughter is absolutely lovely, but we have no son to carry on family name, (Youngest of three, and last one alive ) She gave our family name to her son.
You never know what the future will bring

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I've got two, a boy & a girl, but would have loved more. DH was not keen though as he worried about the financial implications. I'm sure it would have worked out though. So I'd say yes go for it.

Yes, I would have liked 4 for them all to have playmates on tap.

I have none, because of my ill health and this feels right because I think we have to go by our abilities. ? It's lovely that you have one but don't feel bad if you don't feel up to any more!

When we were first married, I thought I'd like four children,

After we had the second one, I would raise the subject of another child every now and then but my OH told me he could not see how having more children would make the house tidier or quieter or save us money.

So we stopped at two.