please tell me to get a grip

Like MissA and Anniebach There's not a day when I don't wish I could share the current problems with DD1.

She had a very no nonsense take on life and really miss that.

I tell my C I am fine because I know that is what they want to hear.
They are avoiding as much as I am.
I am so lucky because my GD ,nearly 22 lives with me and looks after me.
Her friends are great with me and keep me young.

We must accept the current situation , but also accept our children are not responsible for us.
We had them for ourselves, not theirs. They must live their lives without the burden of us.

joanna12 - I am sorry you are feeling so low - and sometimes it is hard not to.

I know that making comparisons with others does not always help - but I have to tell you that I am facing the rest of my life without my OH; and having to face missing the GC and dealing with Covid on my own. No-one to provide comfort or to sound off to. Putting a brave face on it with the children so they can get on with their lives without feeling responsible for my happiness. Some days (like today) I really do feel that I cannot do it; but I know I can because I have to.

Please try very hard to concentrate on the good things in your life - and if you find that impossible, then that is not your fault, but it might be worth seeking help with this.

I wish you lots of luck and hope that you can find a way of pulling yourself up; and improving your mood. There will be good times to come I know.

Yes annie and missa puts things into perspective ❤️

Same for me as for Miss Adventure, we will ever see our daughters again , they are dead .

Lockdown might not last too long. Then maybe you could meet up in a restaurant? It would be something anyway. They have to adhere to such strict rules and regulations and are quite a treat really. Is there somewhere nice midway between you and your son's family?

Stop cogitating on what is wrong or what you are missing. You are only one thought away from feeling better. And don't verbalise every thought that comes into your head!

My grandson isn't that interested in video calls so we stopped making them. It's fine. As long as everyone is safe, I'm happy. I have never really understood this need to constantly see grandchildren. I need to know they are safe and happy and that's enough for me.

MissA

maybe your husband is feeling a bit left out, as if the grandchildren are more interesting and emotionally significant to you.
cherish him too. i know only too well, and to my deep regret how easy it is to take our nearest and dearest for granted.

MissAdventure how tragic ?

Joanna I can really understand your stress. At the beginning of Covid I felt so stressed and also family problems gave me anxiety, sleepless nights etc. 6 months later I am much calmer.

This is what I did. Another Gransnetters kindly suggested taking Ignatia which I got from Holland and Barrett it has helped me and my anxiety and my depressed relative.

I joined Duolingo and signed up free to learn Spanish. I do 5 mins a day without a break and I am on day 226 ?.

I bought myself from WHSmith coloured paper, pastels and sent for a book on Pastels for beginners. In addition I have watched a number of YouTube short videos on Pastel Art. Now I am someone who came bottom in art 3 terms running! The drawing results have really pleased me.

Both the language learning and particularly the pastel drawing has the knack of totally absorbing me and for however long I am doing these activities I am not worrying, feeling sad or catastrophising about Covid or my family.

It’s worth trying to find an absorbing interest. Best of luck.

pamekaj I was in HK at that time too when the water only came on every 4 th day fir 4 hours, parcel bombs going off, and evening curfews was it 5 or 6 pm .
I had a new baby and no mum and dad near by and they could only listen to the news and have no idea if I was safe or not

Miss A

You’re so right MissA
I m afraid you have to stop thinking about the negatives and get on with life as best you can or else you will become very depressed and mental health problems I think will outweigh this virus in the end
Your family are safe and well, you are safe and well you have a husband, and a home we have so much technology you can talk to them every day
When I left home I moved to the Far East had my first baby there and my poor mum and dad could only have a blue airmail letter that took two weeks to arrive
I know it’s not easy to count your blessings but that is the only way so baton down your hatches and make plans for what you will do when you can
Good luck

MissA
Even though my children and grandchildren live on the other side of the world, I know that there are parents and grandparents much worse off. So yes think about that.

I do think that you are all being a bit pathetic.

Can I qualify that a little.
I grew up on the other side of the world. We saw our family every 2and a half years. We all survived.
We lived in HK., through the Mao years, riots, water shortages,

We are sooo lucky to be here in a civilised country with a free health system, enough food, even toilet rolls!
What do you really think is going to happen to you? If you take the sensible precautions you probably won’t die.

I do understand why those whose jobs are at risk, who are in danger of losing their homes who haven’t got much support are worried and stressed, if you have a real problem then I can be sympathetic but if not then get a grip?

Well you did ask?

I feel exactly the same when I consider the rest of my life without my daughter.

The only difference is that nothing will change my situation. Not covid, or anything else.

So, yes, pull your socks up and appreciate what you have.

It is mad because i know my son was very anxious previously,the older grandson was very ill in november so i understand why he is like he is now,yet i still feel poor me.There is nothing i can do i know that yet i am moaning non stop.Me who was never a chidren lover love the bones of both of these grandchildren,just feeling what's the point anymore.

Yes it’s horrible isn’t it joanna12. Just be happy that they are all fine and well. We have the technology to keep in touch, so we are so lucky. I just think to myself ‘this won’t last forever’ Try not to worry about them. Be content that they are in a little happy bubble of their own.

I wish I could offer help but I feel the same x

Hi joanna I could have practically written that myself. I suffer with anxiety and depression anyway but it’s a lot worse now because of COVID. I’ve been married for 46 years and we’re happy together but he is like your husband, takes everything in his stride and says we just have to get on with things as best we can. I know he’s right but it doesn’t help when I’m really struggling. The slightest little thing has me in tears. I’m not going to tell you to get a grip because sometimes it’s just not possible. I hope that things improve for you but just know you’re not alone. Chrissy