Should I reward GD for exam results?

We always give the doc spending money at the end of the school year for working hard all year.

She would get a good chunk of money and a huge hug.

I am also surprised at your comment gaga.

The child in question was at school with my daughter, who was certainly was no academic, and struggled with dyslexia, but did manage a clutch of Bs and C's. He certainly didn't work hard and if I was his mum I would have been very disappointed. If he'd done his best, fair enough, but he was a bright boy who chucked his education away.

Let's not pretend all children do their do their best. I'm a teacher and those that work hard make up no more than 50% at best.

Children that don't try shouldn't be rewarded with praise.

What about those who do well without needing to work hard? Do they get the reward as well as the good grades?

It's all subjective, so (IMO) grandparents in particular should treat them all alike. Parents might have a better idea of who has tried and who hasn't, but even then, I'm not convinced that they know the whole story. Kids who struggle won't always admit it, and those who are naturally academic will sometimes pretend not to be, then pull it out of the hat on the day.

Theses ‘rewards’ are called extrinsic motivators.

My Mum was never satisfied with what I achieved.
I came second to a boy in a test at junior school once and she said, "Why did you let him beat you?"
It was so disheartening that in the end I just stopped trying.

With my own children I always said that as long as they felt they'd tried their hardest, and their results were a fair reflection of their efforts, then if they were happy I was happy.

Give her money as a 'well done' gift, but not as a reward. I've seen too many parents cajole their children into passing exams, and then made them feel like failures when they didn't do well.
The only person who benefits from academic success is the student. If she has a particular career in mind, it's up to her to work hard at the subjects she needs. Her reward will be achieving her ambitions.
Helping with her university fees will be much appreciated.

There’s a world of difference between saying well done and acknowledging that with a ‘treat yourself’ monetary gift and promising a reward if they do well. Once they’ve got their results, grandparents in particular can offer words of consolation or praise as appropriate. I think graduating is completely different - most people I know celebrated with a family meal. Personally I don’t find it difficult at all to offer the right words and a monetary gift at the same time.

I don't think anyone's suggesting that a gift and kind words are mutually exclusive, though. The question is whether the gift should be based on the results or on the fact that the girl has worked hard in the face of adversity.

In this case it is something of a moot point, as she has done well anyway, but if she hadn't got the grades she wanted I for one still think that a reward for her effort would be a kind gesture.

I have just seen my grandson, who has done fairly well and managed to get a seat in Swansea University. He and his friends are going out to celebrate and I gave him some spending money.

She didn't pass any exams as she didn't take any, so why would there be a reward!

I give a small amount of money and a card, praising them for their hard work. If I knew they weren't trying they wouldn't get anything.

I also give some money when starting university. Of course it's totally based on what you can afford.

Doodlebug it was suggested that warm affectionate words were better than ‘throwing money’ ( whatever that might mean - I’ve never thrown money at my dd or dgs but I’ve given the plenty of both in various appropriate situations). As a PP said, it depends what you can afford but a card is surely always possible.

Just written a card for my DGS and put money in it, he got A,B,C and I think he has worked hard for this. I didn't offer it before hand.

quizqueen

She didn't pass any exams as she didn't take any, so why would there be a reward!

What ??? She will have received results.

In truth...you know what you want to do.
If it doesn’t ruin her and you can spare the money.....she has worked hard and, whilst university and a better choice of profession are what she has worked for, show her you are proud of her in whatever way you believe to be appropriate.
I don’t have children, so no chance of grandchildren but I have nieces and nephews and a goddaughter.....I make sure they know I am proud of their efforts and achievements.
I grew up with no such encouragement......
Be proud and show it.

I sent my DGD a card and £30 - just a token to say, yes you worked hard through your school life and did your best. Everyone to their own way, if you have loads of grandchildren it might prove expensive and you need to keep track and what’s been given and when/why - no favourites!

Touchy subject!

It's different if your a grandparent from being a parent. Grandparents are the ones who spoil their grandchildren. I never say no to my grandchildren and hard work deserves reward.

Give the girl £50 and congratulate her. It's been a difficult year for these kids and if they've done well, they deserve to be made a fuss of.

I give my daughter a present when her report comes out, but I give it based on effort, not results. She isn't materialistic, so it is usually something small, but it marks her achievement of following through with study.

I have twin grandson. One always does much better than the other Imagine giving gifts for getting good results.

Yes, I think it would be nice to give your grand-daughter some money, or voucher, whatever, as a reward. It's what most grandparents do.
I was given a shiny red bicycle as a reward for passing my 11+

Writer grandma - It’s lovely that your gd wants to share her success with you - the fact that you showed you would be proud of her let’s her know you’re interested in her development - of course you can give her something of your choosing - you will get pleasure out of that she so will she - well done to her.

Oh yes of course....it’s a passing of a milestone gift ?

The fact that she has asked to come and see you with some good news speaks volumes about your relationship with her. She wants to share her news with YOU ?. If you want to give her some money then do so or if she’s off to university you could say ‘ would you like me to buy you something special for when you go’. It could be a physical shopping trip or virtual but done together. Our neighbours saw their GD go off to university a couple of years ago and they took her shopping and bought a duvet set and some nice towels. And as for the hug....,. Ask her and if she says yes .... go for it?

With this current shambles I shall be treating my granddaughter whatever her results next week