I don't want to leave LO overnight yet

Good grief - just no! Doubly so with a dog in the picture. My children adored their grandparents but never went to stay overnight on their own and none of the grandparents ever thought to suggest it. Why would they? They would have happily stepped in a crisis but this never arose. Actually, thinking about it, they did stay with my Mum once while we had a weekend away - they we're 12 and 14. Not sure who was looking after whom

Quite apart from anything else, it’s rather selfish of a grandmother to insist that a child who doesn’t know her well should stay overnight without his parents if there’s no good reason. How sure is she that he would be happy? Is she putting her own interests before his? To me, the only issue is what is best for the child.

You'd be endangering your child with this plan. In fact, if your MIL won't even put the unpredictable dog in another room during your current visits, then it obviously is #1 to her. Let her get her enjoyment from that. She doesn't have your child's best interests at heart. She sounds very selfish so go your own way and don't try to please a woman who is never satisfied anyway.

You are definitely not being unreasonable! Stay strong do what you are happy with !

Before children we had a border collie. When my daughter was a toddler he started snapping at her. He had to go, my husband was upset but I insisted.

My parents had a dog that we'd never had any concerns about.
One day when we visited it bit my daughter on the cheek. She was eating a piece of meat and my Mum said that's what it was after.
I was shocked at her blasé attitude and we refused to visit their house after that. Mum was miffed and thought I was being unreasonable, but too bad.

My daughter came first.
Do not put your child at risk.

The dog makes the stay a no no, but I also think he is too young. Tell her that just one upset there, without parents, could put him off for a long time. It's an unreasonable request in my opinion.

No you are not being unreasonable at all. You are the parent and what you say goes. Stick to your instincts and you won’t go wrong.

Your MiL is the unreasonable one. Stand your ground

I occasionally look after friends’ dogs, and always put them in another room when my grandson comes to visit. No dog can be trusted 100% and children can seem like a threat to them.

Definitely stick with your instincts and don't feel guilty! My DD had a small problem with her MIL. She wanted to take care of one year old GS as I had been doing.
She couldn't manage her stairs very well but always took him upstairs to change his nappy with difficulty. After a few discussions they had to say she couldn't have him alone. She wasn't happy about this but the thought of her falling with him had to be out first.

They wouldn't see me or my child anywhere near that dog

Your own maternal instincts are the ones to follow. Personally I would never allow a baby into the house with a viscous dog. I suggest you show her this Facebook chat and let her see what other grandparents think. I have grandchildren whom live abroad and we always have to gently reassure them when we make our annual visit because we as adults are aware that we are ‘strangers ‘ to them.

My grandchildren have all stayed and still stay (now ranging 8 - 16 years) regularly overnight since they were very young... however there was no pandemic and I saw them at least twice a week, nor did I have a small snappy dog. It would be no from me under the circumstances, your little one is your top priority and I'm sure neither you nor your husband would settle if you allowed the visit to happen. Your MiL's feelings just don't come into it.

You are being utterly reasonable and a good mother. I would never have left a one year old overnight with anyone - too young to be away from parents. The child's needs are paramount. Sorry you have this demand ot deal with but do not give in - a disgruntled adult is not important when weighed against a distressed young child. I hope you can have a good conversation about this and the disgruntled grandmother can come to see that you are doing whats best for your child - and that she can do that too, by accepting your choice gracefully.

She needs to respect your wishes, try not to worry about her, you are doing what is best for your baby

Definitely stick to your guns! Where will the dog be during the night? Will it be confined to the kitchen or other room? Will it have a muzzle on the whole time child is there? All these things must be sorted well before child stays even during the day as no dog can be trusted with a child. Could MIL be trusted keep her word re the dog if she agreed to muzzle etc

Please don't leave your baby anywhere there is aggressive dogs. I have seen the awful injuries caused by dogs in my job as a nurse.

I agree, with past comments, in no way would I leave a one year old with your MIL, especially with a vicious wee dog, I'd be having kittens.
Could you perhaps suggest that she comes & stays overnight with you, that way she can get to see your routine & get to know baby a little better.
If that's not feasible then I'm sorry she just has to accept that your the parent.
That dog sounds as though it should be muzzled all the time, I don't think I would even go to her house at all as I've been bitten many years ago but don't trust many dogs.
Tricia

Not unreasonable. I didn’t leave my DGC with them until they were in junior school because of their dog.
Even without the dog, I can’t understand why they’re asking.

Definitely don't put your child at risk. As Plunger says, NO DOG can be trusted with a child. We have friends who were accustomed to looking after a next door neighbour's dog while they went on holiday. The dog was used to them, and the house. However, one evening dog was unaccountably out of sorts, went up to their small child's bedroom (she was fast asleep, but the door was open) and bit her face. She needed plastic surgery.
Another friend's young son wad badly bitten just by delivering a card to the house of a neighbour. Again, the dog was a known quantity.
Stand up to your MIL. Spell it out why. And yes, a one year old is far too young to be left overnight. His needs are paramount,and have to come first both now and for many years to come.
Be strong.

Absolutely no way are you being unreasonable... you should be made to feel that way !
Regarding the dog ! Whoaaa THAT in itself is good enough reason to not allow your son to sleep the night, I can't understand the MIL putting this pressure on you like this, if you have said "no" then that should be the end of it !

Stick to your guns

Meant to say ... you should NOT be made to feel that way

No you are most certainly not veing unreasonable. Your concerns are genuine and I think that it is your MIL who is being unreasonable. The dog alone would make the whole thing a big NO from me. Your in-laws may have the best of intentions however they clearly haven't really thought it through and their refusal to restrict the dog other than with a muzzle is very worrying when your son's safety and welfare should be their first thought. Stick to your guns - your son is your responsibility - your in-laws aren't! They'll get over it and hopefully in the fullness of time as your son gets to know them better in your company, the situation will sort itself out. It isn't the dog's fault but she needs to be trained/restrained and never left alone with a young child. I have nine grandchildren and have always had dogs, none of whom ever displayed any vicious tendencies, but have never EVER left a dog alone in a room with the children until they were in their teens. Just not worth the risk and your MIL should realise that. If she is so besotted with the dog that she can't see the problem then that particular aspect will be a tough nut to crack I'm afraid. Wishing you and your husband and little boy well x

Just invite you MIL to your house but do not allow her to bring the dog.

I did have my grandchildren to stay from a very early age. My daughter gave me a huge list of instructions the first time and I have a lovely photo of me showing the list to my granddaughter and telling her that she was not following the instructions!

No no no - Explain to your MIL that your baby is far far far too young to stay away from home anywhere but that you are happy to have them join you for day trips etc but bedtime is bedtime - at home and with Mummy.