Mother/Daughter/Gran dchild relationship issues

Your DD might be suffering with post natal depression so she should try to contact the HV again. Or could you and ask them to visit? My neighbour has had regular visits since having her baby. The health professionals surely know this has been a very difficult time for anyone who has a baby. In the meantime I'm sure she appreciates your love and support.

Oh bless, Guessing this is not how you would hoped it would be right now with everything going on. My DiL loved Mumsnet and that’s how I found Gransnet. Such help to reach out to others in their boats. Hoping for calm waters soon xx

I think it's a combination of feeling isolated due to lockdown & hormones. My eldest dd has 2 dgd & during both pregnancies & for 6 months after I was in the same situation your in now. Sometimes I was scared to open my mouth! Bang on 6 months she reverted back to my dd so hang fire & just be patient. Once things get back to normal hopefully your daughter will feel better.

Thank you Lolo81

I suffer from anxiety too and I find that when my anxiety levels are high that I find it worse when I’m with people who know me well and see through my “mask”. Seeing their worry makes my anxiety worse, so I tend to retreat. I find it easier to communicate by text during these times, might that be an option? Also I have medication I can take and I practice breathing exercises, you can find good guided meditation videos on YouTube. Being a new mum is a high anxiety time for anyone, let her know you’re there for a shoulder to cry on if she needs you (even if it’s via text) and reassure her she’s doing a good job. It’s a learning curve for everyone and given the state of the world just now I’d say any new mum would be a bit more harried. Sending you positive thoughts that everything works out for your family x

Thanks Sodapop. I try not to be but I’m very anxious and worried too so am also probably also over sensitive. I know I need to put myself aside to help her but I have plenty of my own problems and worries. My other daughter is married too and both her and husband are possibly facing redundancy. My husband is 67 and should be retired but can’t now. I know loads of people have much worse problems but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with our own, even with that knowledge. It’s just got to the point where I’m frightened to say anything in case it’s wrong so it’s become very polite and feels false, as though we’re tip toeing around each other, but I think both our emotions are too close to the surface to actually confront it now, need to bide my time for a bit at least. One of the problems is it’s like she’s been abandoned as far as support from a health visitor or midwife is concerned as she did phone them but had to leave messages and no one has returned her call.

I think you are right Debutante a combination of Covid worries and post natal anxiety.
Don't take things too much to heart, we always take things out our nearest and dearest. Are you able to talk to her about her worries and say that you are upset by some of her comments. Is there a nurse or health visitor who could advise.