My Daughter's Fiance

If you make your objections known you’ll most likely fuel her protective instincts and make him seem more romantic. It would be sensible to invite him to your home. You might see a different side to him and find his “smugness” is an act because he realises you dislike him.

Eventually we have to trust our children to make their own decisions and accept they might make choices that we are not 100% sure of.

I'd say nothing unless you know he is abusive one way or another.

well I guess she knows paddyanne.

posted too soon,I wouldn't say anything to my daughter ,she however tells me he;s an arrogant wee sod

He knows hes arrogant thats his saving grace...lol.In all honesty he does a very unique job and was the youngest person ever to do it so we let him off for his arrogance,he is a great dad too

Bags, I don’t think paddyanne would say that to her SiL, and she has found good points in him.

Martha, very sound advice from paddyanne.

She will have to find out for herself.

Invite him round for meals as often as you can, she may see him differently in your home setting.
Never criticise him and be kind and nice to him.

I agree its difficult to watch your children fall in love with someone you dont consider suitable but love is blind so they say. As a mother you just have to hope that you are wrong or be there to catch them when they fall. Hope this advice helps.
PS If you are not a genuine poster MarthaB then just ignore

Tell her congratulations!

Why do users find certain posts to be made up. If this post is genuine and poor person is worried bout her intended SIL, why are you being mean?

The OP has posted and run anyway so...

I would never say anything bad about him

paddyanne, doesn't "arrogant wee sod" count as something bad? ?

If this is a genuine scenario, my advice would be to leave well alone. If you say anything against the new fiancé you will only drive them closer together and risk losing your daughter.

Keep out of it.

If this OP really exists, she sounds like the original MiL from Hell.

Bathsheba self-isolation?

Hmmm, I well remember my folks disapproving very much of my dh (then an on/off boyfriend) and my mother telling me I’d never find anyone nearly as nice as a former BF to whom I’d given the old heave-ho.

Roll on a few years and dh was golden boy, and remained so ever after.

I thought half term was a couple of week ago?

Perhaps the disheveled look is all an act, some men deliberately look scruffy to conceal personality flaws.
Does he have a huge sense of grandiose?
Is he arrogant?
Perhaps he thinks he’s a strong leader and likens himself to an historic leader like Churchill.

Don’t worry too much it could be worse, thank the Lord she didn’t fall for a bearded vegan with a dodgy past and a huge chip on his shoulder.

Exactly monica the reason for my first post I apologise if Im wrong but I think the original poster is having a laugh

Is she pregnant?

Sorry to ask but it is important.

Princess Fiona meets a scruffy monster. Her parents don't like him, but he drags her down to his level and they live in the swamp.

I am not sure I believe this thread. I think it might be a have-on.

She loves him. Why do you think?
Looks really aren’t the most important thing. Smugness is very unattractive, I agree, but what does he do that you judge to be smug? Is it just that he had different political or environmental views and doesn’t simply say “Yes Mrs B. No Mrs B. Never a truer word was said Mrs B”.
It really is in your interests to get on with him and build some sort of relationship. Don’t risk giving your daughter a piece of your mind. You haven’t mentioned financial or physical abuse, him not being your cup of tea is not worth the risk of your daughter and her future husband distancing themselves in the future leaving you out in the cold.
You have a lot to lose here.

No sadly we bastards will be uncorrected for life.