What can we do to help?

Why are your posts so angry Rafich ? I thought on GN we could put our varying views, we don’t all have to agree. I’ve seen you on other threads and you are equally angry there and confrontational.

Oh callistomon you really are the gift that keeps on giving. That was said in the previous post. Do you really need to parrot.

That is a part of the problem for new members, Nankate Some posters sound so angry that they put others off. I sometimes wonder whether Gransnet is used as a whipping boy for all the other things that have gone wrong in someone's life

WhyWhyWhy
It's unfortunate that your post was not acknowledged. It wasn't ignored, it probably slipped off the active list.
I did see, though that when you posted that it was the 10th anniversary of your mothers death there were 3 pages of condolences.

I cant be that bad Nan kate I have never had a post deleted, and even when someone did report me I was told by Gransnet I broke no rules and the post was left up.

Perhaps this might change with this one.

I don't think your posts on this thread will be deleted, rafichagran They seem within the definition of "robust discussion" to me, without breaking any guidelines, as are all the other posts.

I don’t think you are bad Rafich it’s just your continued anger to some of the comments by other posters. I would just like to hear a kindly word from you once in a while.

Speaking as one of the first members (won a Nintendo DsXL, the first prize ever offered!) I must admit I don't post as often as I used to.

I feel that GN had lost some of its "light touch" become a bit more weighted to politics. Of course I realise that is purely down to what is posted.

Perhaps you have not read the posts, where I have been kind, where I have had private messages thanking me for advice I have given. I do not do it for thanks. I do it because I feel for the posters predicament.
I was also quite sad when I read a thread where a poster asked if she was being ignored, it took a kind Gransnetter to reply and say she hoped she had a good day. Too my shame I should have replied to her /him as well, but I got distracted.

Clearly I haven’t read all your posts Rafich and am happy to hear about your kind side. This comment is meant very genuinely.

Not digging and very COOL thanks very much.

Thanks Nankate I am not perfect and I did feel bad about not replying to that post.

I have been on GN a few years now. I have not found it cliquey.
My first post was on soop’s kitchen and I have been in the kitchen ever since.
What can you do to help?
A bit of guidance for new members.
1. Explain how to make names bold and how to use the smileys (I know it’s at the bottom but many don’t see that)
2. Let people know that all their posts won’t be answered. It’s not unkindness but unless you say something that really needs a reply then it is likely to be overlooked.
3. Do not introduce a problem of your own into someone else’s thread. Introducing different angles is fine but sometimes new member suddenly introduce their own problems into another thread and wonder why no one responds.
4. Advise users how to start their own threads and how to go about it
5. Explain that there are some controversial and heated threads when feelings run high.
6. As others have said, many on GN have got to know others having been long term posters. It is only natural that they chat to one another or engage with one another. It is not cliquey it’s what happens in RL. Most wont exclude someone deliberately. Also the posters who give more insight into themselves or their character tend to get more replies than those who say nothing about themselves.
That’s my two penny worth for all it’s worth. Good luck

Those are some useful points, Doodle , the kind of thing that GNHQ could put into a page or an email on how to use the site.

Agree Elegran and a good post Doodle but we still have to rely on people actually reading it.

A good post Doodle
I do remember on another thread that someone started their post with a statement in bold and I thought 'I already posted that, does no-one read my posts?'

In fact, the poster was replying to my post but used bold and not italics.
Perhaps the ^^^ do not work on everyone's devices.

I have been on GN about 4 or 5 years I think and enjoy it. You just have to go in and keep going, other GN will then get to know you over time. We are a large community with different values and experience but I have found, that despite the verbal scrapes, we are very supportive of each other in times of need.

The only advice I would give to new GN is if you post and you get replies you don't like or agree with, then say so, stand your ground but nicely.

Perhaps it could be listed down there where it says about bold etc that these ^ ^ are generally used instead of quotation marks, to show someone else's post is being quoted.

If someone has read some threads before posting themselves they will have seen that quotes from previous posts are often printed in italics, which is done by putting a ^ at each end. (in any case, reading before jumping in is a good way of finding out what you are getting into, and seeing a few names and attitudes)

Gosh! I’ve been out all evening having a nice time.
Thank you for your support and kind words Elegran and Callistemon.

I have skimmed through this and hope that Rafichagran you are feeling less angry.
I can’t let your unkind and unjustified attack on janeainsworth go unchallenged however.
Lara ignore janeainsworthshe is a ignorant woman, how dare she make that last comment about other posters and tell you not to worry about people who feel left out . She is the sort of poster that make people not want to post on Gransnet
I think this is a prime example of getting the wrong end of the stick and proceeding to beat an intelligent, informed and well-respected poster about the head with it.
That sort of hostility could easily make a person think “Why should I bother to go online to be insulted by someone I have never met and who doesn’t know me “
Does anonymity free people from the normal conventions of good manners ? We are urged to “play the ball not the (wo)man” - why is this so often ignored?
Too often GN descends into the sort of vituperative personal spats which do nobody any credit.

Good post maw.

Maw. ?
I viewed janeainsworth's post , not as a nasty one, but quite matter of fact and sensible.

As I have said before, we cannot read, nor comment on every post by every single poster. It's impossible. That's doesn't mean a poster is being ignored when people don't comment on their post , just that people may not have time nor the inclination to respond.

I wouldn't necessarily say it cliquey, maybe that's a an insividuals way of looking at it if they're not included, as someone has already said.

However, in the AIBU forum I have noticed some comments are quite vehement in their response, NOT helpful when someone is genuinely "reaching out" for support. Like my mum use to say " if you can't say something nice, keep your mouth shut"! Just saying.