What can we do to help?

Yes, it's cliquey, but that reflects RL. I think that a long list of dos and don'ts will put new people off posting. I certainly think that when posts are directed at new members suggesting that they should not post until they know how things are done around here is not helpful. Posts get missed when they are in the active thread for a short time. Personally I just skim the active thread for posts that interest me or have few replies as I assume they are new. I wonder if it's possible to highlight new posts? Or maybe there should be fewer categories? Might help generating wider discussion.

Could new posters by colourcoded for a certain length of time, or for their first five or ten posts, or whatever? That would distinguish them. Some forums have the number of times the poster had posted against their username.

There are so many Gransnet members, and so many different subjects that they could be posting on, that it is impossible to know whether a poster is new, or just someone who posts a lot on a topic you don't visit. I have seen an unfamiliar name greeted as a newby and welcomed - only to reply that they have been posting for the last three years.

Colourcoding new members for the first few would also highlight the occasional twerp who joins purely to stir it with a provocative post and then watch the fireworks.

Maw I know what I read and still feel the same. The question was asked and Lara was told not to worry about the sensitive souls. Please do not try and dig me out after some of the insults I have read on Gransnet.
What has someones intelligence got to do with it?
Please do not say because this is a anonymous thread I would not say this in RL and it lacks manners. I would say it, and I own what I say.
I was expecting this reaction and from the posters who posted so you did not disappoint.
As for Callisimon saying she did not report me because she wanted other posters to see and evaluate, well if it was so bad it should be deleted. No she just wanted to s... stir and see other posters pile into me. Well she can sit back and smile now as she got the reaction she wanted, and I expected.
There is another post on Gransnet where someone called someone Ignorant and Racist, let's see if they get the same criticism I am getting.
If you are all so offended get my post deleted.

Hello, everyone. I am new to gransnet, about two weeks ago. I’ve only posted once, and had two helpful replies. The rest of the time, I’ve just been reading. I picked this thread because I thought it appropriate for me, being a “beginner”. I can’t say I’ve particularly picked up cliqueiness, as I don’t “know” people yet, but I did read Jane’s post in the same way as a couple of other posters. It does sound like she’s saying not to worry about a certain group of people, and it would make me a little nervous about posting. I’m sure she didn’t mean it to sound like that, but in my view, that’s how it came across. I’m still looking forward to being more involved on future threads.

You could make it a rule that everyone changes their GN name every two weeks, then there would be no chance of belonging to a clique.

What has someones intelligence got to do with it?

Well Rafichagran to call someone ignorant is pretty much tantamount to denying their intelligence.
It also says by definition somebody doesn't know and if you have read posts by janesainsworth, Callistemon and elegran over the years you would realise that you are way off-beam there.
However, enough - I cannot imagine anybody is losing any sleep over your insults, but how does that square with your concern for “the sensitive souls”, I wonder.

Hooray, we feel the same. I do not care about what posters think of me, and they will lose no sleep over me. All square then.
Funny if I say anything it is insults. Well I have read a post today where a OP was called Ignorant and Racist, but thats ok, the poster I am sure wont get the backlash I have.
Anyway day of work today, and want to enjoy it, have a good day everyone.

rafichagran

Of course I was not stirring up other posters to attack you! Your post spoke for itself. It was a name-calling attack on another poster because you seemed to have misunderstood what she was saying.

Can't honestly say I'm keen on being called a "sensitive soul". (Probably because I'm not one)

Natasha perhaps I could be permitted to make a suggestion.
New members could be advised that they read posts properly and make sure they have got hold of the right end of the stick, before launching into a personal attack on another member.

Dare I suggest that it is not only “new” members who can be put off by personal attacks?
We have lost many members over the years and I often wonder if they felt it was just not worth the hassle.

I don't know, Lara; there is already a thread where new posters can introduce themselves and be welcomed.

Short of joining in a few nice threads, answering posts in a positive way and advising posters to joint in, I'm not sure what advice you could give.

Everyone gets ignored from time to time, everyone 'kills' a thread or thinks that they do. It's only from being on GN for a while, joining in, that posters realise that they're not the only ones who do this.

Some people do join asking for advice and don't receive the responses they want so say they are leaving again. If the advice was thoughtful and worth considering, there's not a lot posters can do to help.

I doubt that anyone is so thick-skinned that personal attacks and name calling doesn't affect them and perhaps that is why some have left over the years.

I don't find GN particularly cliquey but I do find there are a number of posters who think their opinion is the only one and any attempt to discuss is totally rebuffed i.e. no one else can possibly have a valid opinion. In RL I avoid these characters like the plague as I do on GN.
I appear to have an innate ability to kill posts stone dead. Does it bother me? Not a jot.
I’ve been with GN since its start. I’d never participated in an on-line platform before. Hadn't a clue what to do so just got on with it which is what most of us, I assume, do. Within months of joining I was suddenly widowed and GN folk wrapped themselves around me and got me through a very bleak period and we see this kindliness daily on GN.
It’s good to welcome new members and help them along the way but I really see no real need to ‘nanny’ them.
Just watch for a bit, choose a subject, comment & see how it goes then be brave, take the plunge and start a new post. We've all done it! As Elegran says, it’s akin to starting school as a 5 year old only add on half a century+! If you experience adverse reactions from some people, just ignore them and move on. They are the losers!

Coo marmight are you 55? I'm quite a bit older than you.

If only1 ??

Marmight
I absolutely agree. Let's suppose you've decided to join a 'real life' club. Would you expect all the members to keep fussing round you, no.
Me, I would take the view that I've joined the club, it's up to me to see how it works, what to say ( or not ?) who do avoid (maybe) If I then decide it's not for me, I leave. It's not for the other members to accommodate my demands or wants.

I think occasional unpleasant comments are an inevitable part of forum life but I also think that there are far fewer on here than on most other forums I participate with and that ‘management’ seem to be quite efficient in dealing with the worst of it.

Not having a post acknowledged is something I’ve seen mentioned as a disappointment by new posters elsewhere and, while I can understand the ‘ignored’ feeling a lack of response might generate, it’s another fact of forum life that many/most posts won’t get a direct response although they will be read by many posters.

So I don’t think anyone should let either unpleasantness or lack of response put them off becoming an actively posting member. Or a member who just reads and enjoys. Both are equally valid in my view.

The saying ‘Do as you would be done’ by was regularly trotted out by my granny and I think it remains excellent advice as regards posting style.

I joined GN on 2011. I have truly lost count how many threads I have killed, been ignored on many occasions after I post a well thought out reply and often feel I am ‘talking to myself’ but it doesn’t bother me. I just pop into a thread when I feel,like it.

Certain posters who have also been on here since the beginning will obviously have a shared history and a different relationship with newer posters. I have never noticed any cliques.

I did notice one new poster complaining she was being ignored, well.......she has ignored my threads but I won’t lose any sleep over it?

Should read posts, not threads ??‍♀️

Kalu

I think as Marmight said, you really can not nanny new members, you just have to post and see what reaction you get.
You can't see facial expressions so it is quite difficult to understand the tone of some discussions.

Gransnet is an open social media site. There are thousands of members, and more join every day. The competitions alone add new members all the time - only members can enter, and word-of-mouth across the many websites and groups who enjoy entering all competitions means that links to the latest get passed around.

Gransnet members are all kinds of people, who joined for all kinds of reasons.

Some are highly educated, some left school as soon as they could.

Some are keen political debaters, some don't vote.

Some want to change the world, some want to bring back the world they knew as children.

Some are fit and healthy and believe they are immortal,
some have mobility problems and never leave the house.

Some are happily married and do everything together, some have acrimonious splits to look back on and would never live with anyone again.

Some get stuck in at any argument they can find, some lock the door of their minds at the first hint of a disagreement.

Some are bold, some are timid.

The bold argumentative ones and the timid ones have the same problems as each other in stopping the way they react and recalibrating their responses. Should it ONLY be the bolder ones who change? ONLY the passionate ones who damp down their ardour and reply as though they are meek lambs?

Surely both types of personality could take a hard look at themselves and ask whether they are being as difficult to live with as the people they condemn? Live and let live works in both directions, not just the "consider ME first" one.

Is it cliques?
Possibly there are some cliques

Personally, I find I can agree with some posters on some issues and disagree with those same posters on other issues.

I think old adage that you can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time is rather apt in this situation.