I’m simply fuming! Am I being unkind?

I have it all the time. When my DH got particularly bad last year Impersuaded him to go some counselling with me - he didn’t want to go but it helped massively with our communication skills!

I think a lot of men are like this; mine has always been quick tempered, always right, can never find things these days, doesnt listen,or has selective hearing.
Its not easy, your Husband Abuelana may need a check up,for early dementia,if he will go to the Doctor, thats another mens thing, they will not visit the Doctor.

well said soda.

My husband and I go to a therapist for couples' counseling. This is after 33 years of marriage. It has helped immensely and we are communicating much better. We want to be happy together. It's a thought. Please don't just assume it's him and just him. Men are just as sensitive and need to be heard. I don't always agree with him, and vice versa but hearing him say he is here for me and loves me is just wonderful. I hope you can figure out what's going on

And I believe we Can change. Not the core of who we are but to "tweak" things and listen to each other's needs. If either one of us wasn't willing then why are we together?

How old is he? Sorry to sound nosy, but it could be relevant as paperwork does sometimes seem overwhelming in later life.

He probably came home from golf because of waterlogging! Mine is currently finding fewer places of escape. Poor old buggers.

My husband imperceptibly changed to being horrible and cross and distant. It coincided with my son and his wife and young son moving back in with us so I and my son thought it was due to those stresses. BUT it turned out that he had stage 4 colon cancer and his haemoglobin level was 5 instead of 13. He wasn’t diagnosed for a long time. I am not suggesting your husband has some thing so extreme wrong with him, I certainly hope not, but men do like to be the strong silent type. Get him to the doctors for a check up.

Sounds like he has Victor Meldrew syndrome. It must be frustrating but may be easier to just do it all again yourself.

I disagree with posters saying "it's men". Its not. It's aggressive men or ill men.

Im sorry for anyone who has become so used to that sort of behaviour that they think its normal.

Agree with GP check. But if all is fine, boundaries need to be set. He shouldnt get to "ruin" things!

This behaviour might just be due to stress because of the move and the process of selling your house.

What had he done with the file you originally gave him?

It sounds a little to me as if you have taken the line of least resistance over the years and tried to ignore his temper. To a certain extent I think nearly all wives do, or have done this.

Now is perhaps the time to sit him down and tell him how disagreeable you find this habit of his. He might just be able to change a little if you told him kindly how exasperating you find his bad moods.

Hi, I'm sorry things seem to be deteriorating. I think you should talk to him about this when he's calm and so are you. I would read your post to him and ask him what he thinks. Book a hearing test and you can also get a scan if you want for his brain done...I'd try to tackle this by expressing concern by his change of humour.

If you don't mind, what kind of business were you in? I'm 34 and I'm lost right now and needing to do something with my life business wise. I'm always curious what amazingly successful people do. Thank you.

My late husband was the sweetest, kindest person (when he was well). The only exception to that was when he couldn't find something. He'd get in a real nasty strop and insist that he'd looked 'everywhere' - so it was my fault. He was bloody hopeless at finding things!

This isn't an anti-man thread. We should be a sisterhood who consoles those married to grumpy old men. If my women friends were as cheerless as my husband I'd have ditched them long ago.