Husband hates kids

I think as others have said notthecatsmitger your DH is probably jealous of the time you give your DGC DGC, time that should ( in his mind) be his! It’s a bit sad really. If I were you I would carry on as normal as possible . Let him hide away upstairs or go out . His choice . Let him be a sad and miserable old git . Infact if st all possible I think you should go to visit your DGC as often as possible (even on Christmas Day if you’re invited ) . His choice to be on his own .

Aren't relationships all about compromise? He sounds a very selfish sort.

?

Presumably your DC know he hates children so his anti-social behaviour will not be a surprise to them.

If anyone asks just tell them the truth. Your DH doesn't like children so has gone upstairs to be out of the way.

There is no law that says you have to like children, whether you are married or not.

I've seen some grandparents being really horrible to their grandchildren when I've been out and about. It really upsets me. To me they are so precious.

Totally agree grannyknot

This must have been happening for some time notthecatsmother what have you done on other occasions ?
Would it be better for you to visit your family in their home? If not, talk to your husband and say the family are coming if he is not happy with this then he can go out or stay upstairs. Don't put off seeing your new grandchild at Christmas.

is this real? Why would you have anything to do with somebody like this?

Don’t humour him - don’t try and talk him round. Just ignore him. What would you do in a family emergency and one of your dc needed help with child care?

The name Scrooge comes to mind. I hope he doesn't expect any presents.

If this were Mumsnet they’d say LTB
(And they might have a point)
Presumably he has some other redeeming features?

Surely he could make the effort for your sake. That's what being married means - putting you before himself sometimes. You need to have a little chat with him - he has to hide his feelings, buzz of for the day on some pretext or you tell your children how it is. I certainly wouldn't pander to your husband and stop your family visiting.

I was in a meeting the other day for work with a group of experienced consultant psychologists ... and one of them said: Not everyone's a narcissist. Some people are just "bad" not "mad". So can we please stop saying 'narcissist' for every incident. (It was in the context of the meeting - a panel considering a complaint).

're the OP, I'd carry on regardless and inform my guests that he is "frigging in the rigging" upstairs. I definitely wouldn't let it spoil my day.

Commiserations! I wouldn't like to be married to someone who hates kids. I think you need to ask him to be a bit more gracious, your children were in your life before he was. Did you ever discuss the fact that there was a likelihood that grandchildren could well be a part of your life when you decided to marry? What about his extended family any children there ?

when a friend of mine's daughters and grandchildren come to stay her husband books into a hotel!!!! Speechless.

Let him stay upstairs for good I say! His loss.

Narcissist ? Because his attention is taken away !

Anyway they are not kids if they ve made you a gran so why would he hate your grown up offspring ?

Yes let him spend the day in bed and enjoy your kids and grandkids Miserable man

Did you know he hates kids when you married him?

Just ignore him - what a horrible man.