How to stop going on crying

I think it would be rather odd not to cry after losing a beloved pet. I still feel upset when I think of our 21 year old cat being put to sleep - and that was 6 years ago.

My own feeling is that getting older makes you more reflective and aware of things that a young person tends not to think about - a keener awareness of your own mortality and that of those close to you, and memories of people you have lost.

I don't understand how you can "set a time limit" for crying.

Sometimes I cry just because something comes into my mind that upsets or makes me anxious. It seems to me that some people just don't deal with the difficulties in life as easily as others and, to some extent, you just have to go with the flow.

dont be ashamed to feel sad esp after your cat died. that is most upsetting had lots of cats all special and yes i cried after every one.i get a lot upset at people dying here and around the world,..trying screaming if you frustrated or punching a pillow.i wish i could cry more but tend to bottle it up so i wont get hurt anymore.

Your post resonates with me, today especially . I’ve had my two granddaughters over for a couple of nights and they went home a couple of hours ago. I don’t know why but I’ve cried buckets since they’ve been gone! I’ve found I get really emotional lately and cry at the slightest thing. I’m in constant pain at the moment waiting to go into hospital so no doubt that doesn’t help. As another poster said it’s been a crap year that’s for sure! My poor DH deserves a medal and I do thank my lucky stars I have him.

I must make a trip back to the NW sometime; it's about 4 years since I crossed the Pennines! Thanks, Chewy, Woodford Air Museum is now on my list of must-dos!

Woodford Scribbles?

Yes, I know exactly how you feel about the Vulcan. It seems to have a place in so many people's fond memories. There is a Vulcan on display at the Woodford Air Museum now. You can walk around her and see up close what a fantastic piece of aeronautical engineering she was. Worth a look if you're in the area. but take a box of tissues with you!

Chewbacca, when I was a very tiny child, I lived a couple of miles from that airfield and was terrified of the first Vulcans when they arrived. That would be 1952 or 53. If I was outside in the garden as they flew over, I'd run screaming in to my mother, convinced those planes were out to "get" me!

A few years later, we moved to Lincolnshire, near to the RAF bases at Scampton and Waddington and the Vulcans were a daily part of our lives, constantly overhead and I was no longer terrified. I was saddened when they were withdrawn from service in the 80s and 90s.

This isn't as far off topic as it might appear because I was working at Waddington Air Show in July 2008 when Vulcan XH558 made her first public return to the air and was one of the thousands of people standing on the tarmac in floods of tears as she flew over, accompanied by planes from the Battle of Britain Memorial flight. I'm tearing up now as I remember the moment.

It was a couple of years ago DanniRae and it was in the North West. The aerodrome and runway have been demolished now, to make way for housing, so no chance to see anything aeronautical any more.

That's a touching and interesting story Chewbacca. What year was that and which Aerodrome? I go past Biggin Hill Aerodrome from time to time and always love to look at the Hurricane and Spitfire replicas on either side of the gate.

Chewbacca nice story.

I rarely weep and, when I do, it's usually for sentimental reasons. The last time was when the Vulcan bomber did it's final fly past over the Aerodrome where she was built. As she flew over, she bobbed her wings in salute. As she flew off into the distance, I knew she would never fly again. When I looked around me, their were hundreds of full grown men, many of whom had worked on the Vulcan; all wiping their eyes on the sleeves. I wept buckets.

If we weren't meant to cry we wouldn't have tear ducts! People say "oh dont cry" blah blah cos they think they have to fix you.

If I am tearful in joy or otherwise, if people look as if they are going to say something like "oh dont cry" I say "allow me my tears-I don't want you to fix me. Just let me be me"

They are relieved and you can be you. Don't try to stop them please. Tears are natural. Its other people that struggle with them

Others having worse doesn't lessen your troubles wot.

and sorry grandetante about your cat. Its very sad to lose a much loved pet.x

Thank you! I know others have worse!

So sorry wot.

I had the dreaded MRI today (claustrophobia) and it took them 30 minutes to get a canula in. Just got to me after the cr.p year I've had.

I don't think that's self pity wot - it's just that sometimes we can cope with our day to day life and sometimes it all gets too much and crying is a way to release all the sadness built up inside. I hope you feel better today? x

I cried my eyes out today and want say I feel better for it ; just exhausted. Haven't cried for years. One of the things I was crying about (apart from myself) was my dog getting old and being on my own. Self pity but hey ho!

grandtante my people are in floods of tears when a beloved pet dies. For ages. It IS hard to get over. Don't be hard on yourself.

I have become very sentimental in my old age and can cry easily these days. I don't see it as a fault. So much on TV sets me off. I feel so helpless when I see the suffering of others.

Is there anything deep down that is playing on your mind, or grief which hasn't been expressed maybe? Try telling people why you are crying and maybe then it won't be so prolonged.

When my cat died in 2014 I cried so much I made myself ill and gave myself gastritis! I loved him so much and feel I prolonged his pain by hesitating to call the vet.

I remember being advised as MissAdventure. If you really don't want to keep crying set a time limit and stop. It sounds hard but when I was grieving for lost family I sometimes set a time aside to think about them and allow nyself a good cry and then dry my eyes and get on with it. But crying is ok. And lets face it when you're older there is more sadness. ( incidentally I have just listened to Judith Durham singing Danny Boy with my husband and we both had tears running down our cheeks!)

I'm not a crier -never have been (since I grew up that is.) Used to cry when I had rows with DH but that rarely happens now. I didn't even cry at my parents or my brother's funeral. Couldn't, though I thought I should and was actually very upset. I am occasionally moist eyed at things on TV about children (even happy endings) or at school nativity plays etc. Perhaps I am abnormal?!

flutterby - I agree . Things lost, and also I think a lot of the tension fear and anxiety must have registered somewhere deep down. and still comes out years later.

I'm so sorry you lost your beloved kitty.

Grief is personal and people grieve in all sorts of different ways. I cried for days when my Sophie cat died....I still think of her often and well up inside when I see an old snapshot or find an old toy of hers hidden somewhere. It's been almost three years.

You've suffered the loss of your most beloved furry friend grandtante and that can be heartbreaking, so go ahead and have a good cry, for as long or as often as you need to.

Hugs, Willa

My thoughts are with you and sending lots of love and hugs. Today I'm like you. We had to have our dear cat Biscuit put to sleep at the vets yesterday evening. An old lady of almost 15 years old who we adopted when her owner died nearly 3 years ago. She had been poorly since last Friday and took to hiding behind a wardrobe, under the bed and behind the tv cabinet. She stopped eating. A bit of a long story but it was kinder at her age to let her go. I stayed and talked to her as they put her to sleep and told her that she was going to see her 'dad'. Tears flowed last night but trying to hold it in today and I know I shouldn't. Although we have two other cat's our home feels so quiet and empty today. No queuing up last night for her supper. I tend to put a brave face on as so many things have happened over the last few years and had to be strong for the sake of others. We also had another old cat Rio put to sleep 23rd August last year at home. the vet and nurse came as I was told 7 o,clock in the evening. Watching the clock that day and seeing them walk past the window, on time was the hardest thing I did and went to pieces. I think too that as we get older there are more things to worry about. Ageing parents, relatives, friends If you have children, their worries are your worries. You go to more funerals than weddings. It is better to show our emotions and just let it out otherwise it manifests in other ways. In my case, anxiety. I hope our little puss cats have met up today over 'Rainbow Bridge'