Sleepovers

Just waiting for 3 of my 6 to arrive for a couple of days. They love coming here & we love having them. If we don't get asked to have them for a while we ask for them or the children hassle parents to come here.
It is just the best bit of being a GP.
Have them over - let them sleep on the floor on duvets or old blankets. They will love it & you will be building important memories for them.

We took ours for the night from newborn . One of my daughters not only had a c section but 2 weeks later gall stones and the surgical ward couldn’t take a new born.

Her other son we had from a couple of weeks old too , to let mum and dad get some sleep.

The 2 older ones who were breast fed daytimes from new born with expressed milk and from about 18 months when weaned.

As far as our grandchildren are concerned our house is their house and we have them individually usually ( although we had all 4 for a week recently) so they each can be the centre of our attention.

It’s easier now we’re retired but we were both working when we started having them.

To be honest, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

Sorry, but I can't imagine not having my GSs stay whenever they want to. They have done this since birth so DD and DSIL could have a night to themselves. It was hard work when they were young, there being only 12.5 months between them but as they've got older they have their own room here and sometimes sleep in a tent in the garden in summer, we play cards and treasure their company. They don't stay over as much as they used to as they are now 13 and 12 but even if I was in a one bedroomed flat I would still find the space for them to stay. However, each to their own.

I reckon I'm physically better when distracted. There's nothing like:
a 3 year old chatterbox
a 7 year old wannabee astronaut
two older siblings plus partner and 1 year old GGD

to distract me from my aches and pains and get me involved in everything going on! I love it, they left on Wednesday and I'm still on a high!

I find looking after two year old grandson, exhausting. I am72. Let alone having him for sleepovers, although I can see that request coming at some point.

As lovely as he is, I don’t enjoy being knackered out.

It can be exhausting just thinking about having them all, but I agree with the other gran, take one at a time.

Coast35 - a week ago I felt awful, violently painful joints, lightheaded from painkillers and generally down. I had previously been looking forward to DS coming for a few days with his children but ended up dreading it. I forced myself and by the time they left I felt considerably better and although 'joyously exhausted' (wonderful description!) also mentally exhilarated.
I'm already looking forward to them coming again!

The benefits for the parents to have a night off by letting their children have a sleepover at their grandparents home far outweighs the mystical "memory making" benefits that are referred to once they are grown up and look back on their childhood experiences!

As long as you fully believe this, then it really is no problem of feeling guilty when you say "sorry - no" when the requests come in ......but the one exception to this would be if the parents are honest and upfront with you and say why they want them left with you!

My problem was the opposite, my grandmother would visit me and my three small sons for an afternoon and she would hint to stay the night.
She lived very close by and saw us several times a week.

I've a feeling that a lot of this staying the night is for the parents benefit and children are encouraged by the parents to see it as part of life.
I refuse to use the s/over word.

I must have raised a pair of strange children. They NEVER wanted to stay overnight with the grandparents. Mum was a widow and didn’t want it anyway. It was my inlaws who’d have liked them to stay overnight but the children truly weren’t fond enough of them to want it and always wanted to come home.
Just be open and honest, Woodstock, otherwise the children will keep asking. Nothing wrong in saying you don’t have the space. Just be firm, the decision is final, as children detect wavering and weakness and exploit it.
If it’s the parents persistently asking, they should be ashamed of themselves.

What is this obsession with sleepovers for grandchildren. If you live nearby you have fun with them while they are awake. It doesn’t matter where they go to bed, they’re asleep for goodness sake.
I do have mine to stay because some live away and one nearby has parents that sometimes are on call at night for work. I have lots of space and they have dedicated rooms.
If I lived in a one bed flat I would most certainly say no to overnight stays.
OP does lots with her grandchildren and shouldn’t be made to feel bad if she doesn’t have space for ‘sleepovers’.
She obviously loves them and that is all they need.

I would give anything to have my grandchildren overnight and be wanted. Make sure you are not alienated from their lives because of this .

We have a 2 bedroom bungalow (both bedrooms with double beds) so tend to go to DGC's house and look after them there. DS & DDiL go to Dil's mum to sleep so they and have a lie in.

Goodness me, I hope they arnt thinking of all 6 gc at the same time?!
I can completely see where you're coming from even if it's just one gc at a time, you'll be always having someone else in your bed or on the floor.
Stick to your guns. Not everyone likes being invaded by little or not so little people with their own agenda.

Stick to your guns, I love one lot staying but the other lot is a nightmare. And that is not even the gran kids !! Wish me luck this weekend.

Eldest was 18 months old and youngest GC was only 3 months old, when they had their first sleep over whilst their parents went abroad for a wedding, they still come to stay every school holiday, they live much further away now, but still insist on coming up.
Eldest is 14 and we are all very close.
But, we had and still have the room to let them have their own space, I don’t think I would have wanted to do it with no bedrooms for them.

Eldest GD was three when she came to stay for the first time and youngest was just two.
They have stayed regularly since, except when I had my operation and chemo, but DIL only sends them one at a time.

In reply to Farmor15, our DGS was 3 when he started coming to us for 'sleepovers and I'm nearly 60 & DH is 65. He only lives 2 miles down the road but he loves coming here and enjoys the little differences like a huge bath and his toy farmyard which takes up the whole of the floor in 'his'room but can be packed away if we have adult guests using the room. Before his baby brother arrived, we found it a good way of giving his parents chance for a lie in at the weekends which they don't get when he's at home as he's an early riser. It's also more convenient for us to have him here if his parents are out late in the evening, rather than babysitting at their house. We just love having him and we look forward to when we can have both him & his brother here. I would suggest to the original poster that she stops making excuses and comes clean that she'd rather not have her grandchild to stay in her retreat, its not for everyone but for us, the sleepovers are special times.

I never had my grandchildren for sleepovers.
I had a spare room, but I just didn't want to, as I like my own space.
That has somewhat backfired now though!

My grandchild lives a log way away from me, but I do have him for week long sleepovers and love having him but we have plenty of room, If I was in your position living close and already helping out and seeing them a lot and only living in a one bedroom flat with 6 GC I would not consider it but suggest you stay over for sleepover at theirs while their parents have a night away.

You definitely need to stand firm. This is one advantage of living in a small flat - you simply haven't the space.
Say very firmly (raising your voice if necessary), 'look I haven't got the space and I do not want to hear another word on this subject, it is not part and parcel of being a granny. Stop the emotional blackmail.'

Not unreasonable if that’s how you feel. There are lots of suggestions on here for how to make it possible if you only have one bedroom, but if you’re not happy about it, don’t do it. There are lots of other ways to show you care. The suggestion of offering to go to theirs so parents can go away might work better. We often have ours to stay, but I admit I’m a little less keen to have my late-teenage GD to stay when she wants to bring her boyfriend. So far we’ve said no, despite the long faces.

I think it’s fine to see DGC in the daytime. My own DP parents saw their 4 DGC from my sister and husband, one at a time and not to stay over, and that was fine with all. Sometimes my parents would do school pickup and help in the day.
My own grandparents, one set were happy to have me and sister stay for a week virtually from birth, but my older grandparents didn’t do overnights.
My own DS stayed overnight with both sets of DGPs but only on holidays such as Easter and Christmas, and from a young age he was happy to sit and chat with older people, do the washing up and fit in. And as an only grandchild for quite a long stretch, it was younger grandparents he visited.

I wouldn’t feel guilty about not doing DGC visits overnight or for childcare, it’s a big thing to ask.

Children need space and have lots of energy. I live in a small bungalow and although my GC have stayed over at different times (and we had fun) it was totally exhausting for me. My health is not good and they appreciated that and did their best to be extra good. I can't take them out to the park or anywhere on my own plus I need lots of time lying down. They still love visiting and it's good for them to be with a loved one who has a chronic illness, teaches empathy and compassion. Woodstock, have a quiet word with the parents if you feel you are not up to having sleepovers. Let them know you still love them but maybe it's just too much in a small flat.